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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

drunk friend, aibu

16 replies

Kennyp · 15/09/2012 17:38

friend drinks a LOT and can't handle it and it always ends badly, always always always (repeat to fade).

we are going out soon with mutual friend and mutual friends family. i know that friend will get off her tits drunk, lose the ability to speak and knock over chairs in the restaurant as she lurches to/from dancefloor/toilet/ toilet on the dancefloor, etc).

aibu to say to her well before the night out that if she gets really pissed then i will put her in a taxi but i'm not going to cut my evening short just because she gets ridiculously drunk very quickly? alternatively i could ring her husband but he can't leave the children at home and come and pick her up etc etc. plus he will go mental at her getting so drunk.

it's not a dead cert that she will get completely comatose drunk, but it is a big possibility. what do you think??

OP posts:

Mrsjay · 15/09/2012 17:46

If you forewarn (is that a word) that you will be sending her home thats ok imo is she unmanagble drunk or just pissed if she is just pissed id leave her too it but if she is making a bit of a show of herself then tell her , what does she drink that she gets so drunk early on,

EdMcDunnough · 15/09/2012 17:57

Can you just, well, not go? And tell her why.

I think putting up with someone who does that on a regular basis is probably not going to help you, or her.

Sorry - just an idea. I'd avoid her at all costs in these situations.

Gumby · 15/09/2012 17:59

Don't go
Tell mutual friend you wont go if drunk friend is going

MrDobalina · 15/09/2012 18:10

how does she get home normally?

MrDobalina · 15/09/2012 18:11

have you spoken to her about her drunkeness?

MrDobalina · 15/09/2012 18:13

oh...do you mean instead of ending the evening to take her home, you would put her in a cab?

that is fair enough, with prior warning if it is a recurrent problem...

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 15/09/2012 18:14

She will agree with everything you say, then get legless, then make a show of herself and you, and it will be mortifying. Either be prepared to leave on your own, early, or don't go. You can't set yourself up as her keeper or you risk her turning on you once she's plastered and that could be a disaster. Why on earth do you still go out with her? She sounds like a teenager on a binge not a grown woman with children

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 15/09/2012 18:30

To all those saying "just dont go" i want to ask why should OP have to miss out on a night out with nice mutual friend B and Bs family just because friend A gets ridiculously pissed? She shouldn't have to take on the responsibility of being this friends keeper, I agree, but nor should she have to sit at home!

Op Yanbu to tell her you will put her in a cab and send her home so you can carry on your evening with friends who don't get leg less. However, has anyone talked to her about her behaviour? Does she think it's funny, or not an issue or is she omg what did I do? Has her dh seen the state she gets in?

Good luck OP!

Mintyy · 15/09/2012 18:43

Is it a problem for you because you feel you have to make sure your drunk friend gets home safely? If so, just say in advance, "btw if you get really pissed like you usually do then you're on your own re. getting home."

I have a couple of friends like this. Its so tiresome (and I am worried about them).

ToothGah · 15/09/2012 19:02

The thing is, you wouldn't put her in a cab on her own that pissed (would you? really?) as you won't know if she'll get home ok.

I'd have a very frank chat with her about alternating soft drinks. And tell her you WILL call her DH to collect her, you won't put her in a taxi alone if she's off her face.

iusedtobefun2 · 15/09/2012 21:11

I have a friend like this.
Thing is she is just lovely when sober.
She just doesn't seem to know her own limit, has no sense of personal saftey and doesn't realise that she makes others responsible for her actions.

It's not the first time I've ended up yelling at her outside some pub, asking her, telling her to go home as she's so drunk. Once I left her there to her own fate.

We've fallen out many a time about it.

Now I don't go out drinking with her.

WanderingWhistle · 15/09/2012 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoMeDon · 15/09/2012 21:18

YANBU to tell her you're not leaving early. She is an adult.

Having said that - if she wandered off, got assaulted. How would you feel? If you can say, up to her how she lives, then go for it. Personally I'd feel awful if anything happened and I let her go - not that I should but I would IYKWIM.

iscream · 15/09/2012 21:41

I thought the bar was supposed to cut you off if you acted like that? Can you get the bar to do that? I'd not send a friend alone in that state in a cab, so would call the dh. So he gets mad...unless you fear he would actually hurt her, let him deal with it.

iscream · 15/09/2012 21:42

Forgot to actually answer your OP.. YANBU.

Original poster

Kennyp · 16/09/2012 11:36

Thanks. I think i will tell her that i will call her dh if she gets out of hand. He is not that nice so that comment will probably reign her in.

It has happened far too many times for her behaviour to be a one off. She does have a drink problem but until she admits that herself it is not something i can bring up with her

Thanks for all youre replies. :)

OP posts:

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