To be completely and utterly confused about what my boyfriend is trying to tell me?

[MyGodMyHead]

Posted this in relationships but I guess I'm ready for the wrath of AIBU.

Been together about 4 months. See each other 3/4 times a week, we always have a great time together whether we're out or just sat watching a movie. BUT he's always been a hot/cold type person ever since we met. He'll be all lovey dovey one minute and cool as a cucumber the next. I have tried so hard to just chill out about it but the truth is, I never know where I am with him and it's so hard because I have developed strong feelings for him.

It all came to a head last night. We're in bed and he asked how I think things are going between us. I say great, everything is fine - how do you feel?
He then says "yeah, all ok - as you know I have other stuff going on right now and issues I need to sort out of my own but we're ok". This immediately makes me think "shit, that doesn't sound good!" so I call him up on it. This triggers a bizarre conversation where he says he doesn't want to say he loves me as it's a word that shouldn't be thrown around so early in a relationship - however he does love me ??? he was worried that I might have tried to rush things in the beginning but now I haven't - he's worried that he's not 100% over his divorce (2 years ago) but he wants me to give him time - I ask if he wants to postpone meeting my kids (scheduled for next weekend) and he says no, he wants to meet them now. I ask if he wants me to give him space - he says no, definitely not. I ask if he wants to slow things down, he says no, don't talk like that.

This morning I woke up thinking WTF is going on??? Would anyone else feel as confused about this as I am?
I feel like I should detach from him. I don't want to split with him completely but I need to detach for my own sanity. To be fair he was a bit drunk when talking last night but it does represent sober chats we have had also.

I gave him the choice - he doesn't want to take things slower, he doesn't want space and he doesn't want to split. Is it just me?? Have I got the wrong end of the stick somewhere or read too much into it?

Squeaky and Worra are making sense about this.

He has said he is happy to progress your relationship. He is a grown adult who isn't particularly into FB - there are lots of us about - i ask for pics to be removed and untag myself frequently. He has been divorced 2 yrs - it's not a long time AT ALL. It tkaes time for a heart to heal and is no reflection on your relationship. Multiple feelings can co-exist.

Enjoy what you have - it's early stages. Have the dates, the sex, the getting to know you. Lay off these heavy chats and meaning searching conversations.

I genuinely can't believe you would even consider introducing him to your DC after 4 months. IMO a relationship should be serious commitment stakes before meeting DC - they do not need the emotional upheaval. There's plenty of interesting info out there about the confusing effects on DC.

As far as meeting the kids goes, it depends how it happens. My ds has met two of my boyfriends, neither of whom were really serious, but it was just a situation like him popping in on a saturday afternoon and me saying "this is my friend Bob".
Ds is used to my friends of both sexes , so it didn't make an impression on him.
I have never had a man stay over when he is here though, and would not progress a relationship to that stage unless I was really sure it had a future.