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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you shouldn't put photos of other people's children on facebook?

24 replies

LiegeAndLief · 15/09/2012 07:51

One of my friend's dds has just started reception. I noticed that she's put up photos taken in school of her dd on facebook which have other dc very clearly visible in them (just as visible as her dd iyswim). I'm guessing that as they've just started and these dc are in the photo coincidently she probably doesn't even know the parents.

At ds's school we are reminded at all school events / assemblies etc that we can take photos as long as they are NOT under any circumstance put on facebook etc. I even have to sign permission forms for the photos which dd's pre-school workers take to put in her personal achievement book thingy. I'm sure that her facebook settings only allow her friends to view the photos but even so, don't the photos automatically become the property of facebook or something?

So, am I just making a big fuss over nothing or should I say something to her? She's a very lovely person and I'm sure she wouldn't think she was doing anything wrong.

OP posts:

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 15/09/2012 07:54

How did she get photos taken in school?

WelshMaenad · 15/09/2012 07:56

I always ask permission.

If she doesn't know the parents, how can she know there isn't a sensitive home situation? In one if my social circles there are children subject to care orders whose biological families are not aware of where they are living or what school they're going to. Someone inadvertently putting photos of them on facebook could cause a lot if problems.

thebeesnees79 · 15/09/2012 07:57

I hate Facebook!

cozietoesie · 15/09/2012 07:58

Difficult to stop people now, JumpingThroughMoreHoops. Phones in cameras are so good and so quick.

PippasArse · 15/09/2012 07:58

Very good point welsh. I have had that too.

Badgerina · 15/09/2012 08:00

YADNBU

I have a really gorgeous picture of DS sitting on a wall with his friends in their school uniform. A friend's mum took it yesterday. I'd love to share it on FB, but a) it's not my photo and b) they're not all my children (Thank goodness! Haha!)

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 15/09/2012 08:00

Jumping, her dd was standing up at the front in assembly alongside some other children. I guess she just took them! We are allowed to do this at ds's school but the headmaster always makes it very clear that we are not to put them on facebook, so I was surprised to see she had. But don't know if this is specific to ds's school.

I guess if there was a child at the school with a senstive home situation the school would be aware of that and would be a bit stricter about parents taking photos?

OP posts:

Proudnscary · 15/09/2012 08:00

YANBU

I HATE this. It's invasive and intrusive. I don't post pix of my kids anywhere on the internet - partly because they have a right to privacy and partly because I don't feel the need to validate myself by showing off to other people.

My friends and family have finally become more respectful about it as I've asked them politely not to post pictures of them on FB.

(I loathe Facebook anyway - it's full of attention seeking, vacuous knobbers)

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 15/09/2012 08:01

People should ask permission. YANBU

I've only been bothered once and that was dcs sm who put up photos of them naked in the bath I made sure that was removed pronto!

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 15/09/2012 08:02

She has posted pics of my dc on facebook before which I honestly don't mind - actually it's quite nice as my mum gets to see them, she lives abroad and I never put any up! I guess it has just been drummed into me so strongly by ds's school not to do it that to see the photo taken in school shocked me.

OP posts:

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 15/09/2012 08:04

To be fair I don't know she didn't ask permission... I'm assuming. Assumption being the mother of all fuck ups.

OP posts:

storminabuttercup · 15/09/2012 08:07

I'm always about this, I too have friends who foster and there could be serious issues if their pictures were on Facebook. I always ask friends before I share any pictures, even if I know they won't mind. It's courtesy!

Jelly15 · 15/09/2012 08:40

I am a childminder and a mother complained to me that her daughter appeared in the background of some other childs photo on facebook taken at playgroup.

I didn't even notice the photo was being taken and my arm can be seen in the photo. The mother taking the picture used her phone to take it and I just thought she was texting as lots, not all, of the young mums seem to spend a lot of time on them.

I had to ask the mother to remove the picture and tell the playgroup leader what had happened.

I don't think there is much that can be done these days as so many people carry camera phones.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere · 15/09/2012 08:44

I would be furious if a photo of ds2 was put up with him in his school uniform.

It would make him easy to find.
His birth mother turning up at his school would be a nightmare.

For the my other dcs I would be mildly annoyed at the rudeness.

exoticfruits · 15/09/2012 08:49

I wouldn't put anyone on without their permission-adult or child. However I can't see how you can stop it.

scaevola · 15/09/2012 08:49

YADNBU

People should simply never put up pictures of third parties unless they have specific permission.

shesariver · 15/09/2012 08:50

YANBU. But this is probably just going to be full of "Facebook is evil" posts now.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 15/09/2012 08:56

YANBU. If her chide has just started, it genuinely might not have occurred to her that there was anything wrong with it. I know I made that mistake years and years ago when I put a picture of my ds on there, but there were still lots of people still not on Facebook back then and schools hadn't caught on to the fact that they needed to give a warning. Obviously I took it down when it did occur to me though.

I think nowadays when there is more awareness around putting children's pictures on Facebook, it is a stupid thing to do, but I don't think it's always down to selfishness, it can just as easily be down to thoughtlessness.

exoticfruits · 15/09/2012 08:56

There is no way to stop it. You can ask, but there is no knowing exactly who has photos.

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 15/09/2012 09:11

Outraged you are right, I really don't think this would have occurred to her. That's why I'm wondering whether to mention it to her or whether I woudl come across as a lunatic.

OP posts:

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 15/09/2012 09:14

Just to confirm, it's not photos of my child or even of my school, so I don't think I should be asking her to take the photo down or to stop taking photos in school - I'm just wondering whether I should be making her aware that some people might not like it and the school might not be very happy about it.

For all I know it might be her school's policy that you can take as many photos / videos as you like and plaster them all over the internet! (although unlikely...)

OP posts:

ZonkedOut · 15/09/2012 09:20

If you know her well enough, just talk to het about it and suggest she take them down. Mention other school's policies and the reasons for them (as posted above). If she's as reasonable as you think she is, she won't have thought of that, and will be more thoughtful in future.

ChunkyPickle · 15/09/2012 09:48

There's no way to stop it, and it's not illegal.

If you take a picture in a public place, that picture is yours and you can do what you like with it - no matter who is in it.

If you take a picture in a private place, even if you shouldn't be taking pictures, it's still your picture, and you can still do what you like with it no matter what's in it, you cannot be required to delete it (perhaps a court could later), but you could be asked to leave the premises.

PrincessScrumpy · 15/09/2012 09:54

I always ask permission but then I also have top security on my page so only true friends and family can see my pictures

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