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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel really let down by hospital and worried sick about DS (4)?

47 replies

KinkyGerlinky · 14/09/2012 17:34

DS, who has just turned 4 has been getting ill (fevers, lethargy, loss of appetite) for the past 2 years. We have 2 other DC, one younger, one older and neither get ill at the rate DS does, it is literally every 2-3 weeks. I was finally so sick with worry that I asked teh doctor to refer us to the paeds at the hospital. That was back in July... Our appointment isn't for another month and he is really ill again... We took him up to emergency out of hours 2 weeks ago and teh doctor was so outraged that this had been going on for so long that she wrote a letter to our GP, GP in return is saying it's outrageous the hospital hasn't seen him sooner and has faxed them several letters... Meanwhile my son is upstairs, pale with a fever, saying his whole body hurts and I don't know why and I can't get any help for him, aibu to just be so angry and upset?

OP posts:

MrsKeithRichards · 14/09/2012 17:35

A and E?

Tweasels · 14/09/2012 17:37

I'd take him to A&E every time until something is done. Have they ran blood tests?

Original poster

KinkyGerlinky · 14/09/2012 17:38

I called out of hours last night and said I wanted him admitted, the doctor called back and said as it was an ongoing thing and he only had a fever high they wouldn't admit him :-(

OP posts:

silverfork · 14/09/2012 17:38

I'd take him to another A and E and ask for him to be seen.

If you can get him to an A and E at a special 'Children's Hospital' then that would be best. Don't be fobbed off.

schobe · 14/09/2012 17:39

YANBU at all.

Bit rich the GP being all outraged - perhaps they should have referred a bit before you were forced to insist after 2 years of it.

Anyway, my advice would be to harass the hospital by phone to try and get a cancellation slot with the paed. Making a nuisance of oneself is quite effective ime.

Have you been to the doctors about his current illness?

Original poster

KinkyGerlinky · 14/09/2012 17:40

No, no blood tests, that is all I want, I just want them to rule out anything life threatening and they won't even do any tests as they don't do them for children at our GP surgery and out of hours (were we have taken him in teh middle of teh night because he's been so ill) tell you to go to your GP...

OP posts:

MyLastDuchess · 14/09/2012 17:40

I'm not surprised you're feeling like that. I agree with the others that you should go to A&E. What you need to do is to find the person at the hospital who will OWN the situation and run all the necessary tests. Be a squeaky wheel until you can hit on that person.

YANBU. I should think that feeling angry and upset was totally normal in that situation.

2girls2dogs · 14/09/2012 17:40

oh, im so sorry you are going through this. If you are worried, pitch up and A&E and insist he is admitted. Something isn't right - you are his mum and you know your children, you have two other children, you are a not an neurotic mum. Maybe wait until the morning (just because it will be less busy) but if he is really poorly then tonight. This is outrageous, i really hope you get this sorted out soon. I know A&E sounds drastic, but he can be referred for bloods, scans anything that he needs straight away then, rather than wait. I would be seriously making a nuicance of myself now.

MyLastDuchess · 14/09/2012 17:42

Can you just show up? We (in NL) have an out of hours system here and they will only see you if it's considered to be urgent. However most people don't realise that you CAN also go straight to A&E. Obviously you will have to wait behind all the people who have broken limbs and heart attacks and what have you, but you will eventually be seen. I'm thinking it might be like that where you are as well?

2girls2dogs · 14/09/2012 17:43

Don;t bother with Out of Hours, they are just GPs, go to A&E, make a fuss. I know we are programmed not to go to A&E unless it is an acute condition but if you can't get your son the treatment and tests he needs any other way, then you really have no choice.

Original poster

KinkyGerlinky · 14/09/2012 17:44

The receptionist from the hospital has been really helpful, telling us to call back every morning in case they have had a cancellation but so far they haven't and we are just stuck, I'm just getting so desperate and there is no one who is prepared to help.

If he gets any hotter I may take him up to A&E tonight.

OP posts:

noddyholder · 14/09/2012 17:44

Does he have any other unusual symptoms that might get him seen quicker in a and e?

justabigdisco · 14/09/2012 17:46

You'll find that most doctors in A&E are far, far less experienced than your GP and the consultant that you have already been referred to.
A&E won't be able to help.
Try ringing the hospital consultant's secretary for cancellations, as a PP suggested.

Original poster

KinkyGerlinky · 14/09/2012 17:46

No not really, just very hot and lethargic, no rash or anything.

Thanks everyone for being so supportive, I wasn't sure if I was being neurotic or not...

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MyLastDuchess · 14/09/2012 17:47

I think it might be a good idea, just to be like FFS THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY CHILD. I should imagine that you feel quite powerless and that's a dreadful feeling.

When you go there, don't be afraid to be a bit emotional if that's how you're feeling. What I mean is, obviously you are going to be polite, friendly and civil and keep it together. But if you need to show your worry and frustration by having a few tears leak out (not right in front of DS obviously), don't make a massive effort to hold back. Sometimes we make a massive effort not to show any emotion right when we should be doing just that, and it can really work against you at times.

squeakytoy · 14/09/2012 17:49

Are his tonsils inflamed? As a kid I was like that all the time until I had my tonsils out at the age of 4, and my mum says I was a different child once they had done that. Prior to it I had ear infections galore, colds, and little appetite most of the time.

slightlycrumpled · 14/09/2012 17:49

You must be incredibly frustrated. Is it a blood test apt you are waiting for or to see the peadiatrician. Your GP can order blood tests even if they won't do them. Usually you get a form & head off to outpatients.

You have been let down. I have a child with a forever diagnosis that means lots of admissions and we have never waited for bloods.

I hope he improves but really remember trust your instincts, they will rarely let you down, & go to A&E if you are concerned.

funkypigeon · 14/09/2012 17:49

A&E, definitely. IME you really do have to persist with the team there and explain everything and in great detail, do not be fobbed off. Paeds generally take a mother's concerns seriously, after all, you ate the voice for your son. I did the same with DS because he'd been wheezing since 6 weeks, was labelled a 'happy wheezer', fast forward 4 years an he's under a consultant, diagnosed with brittle asthma, 4 admissions this year.

Really, really persist, to the point where they h e to listen and take it seriously. It's not normal, and needs investigations as to why. Good luck.

Kittykatzen · 14/09/2012 17:51

I'd go to A&E too, particularly if there is paediatrics in that hospital, so even if you see A&E staff they can discuss with paeds or refer you on to them (I'm a paediatrician by the way...) - and every hospital I've worked in has run a rapid access clinic to get children seen quickly as outpatients, so they may be able to get him into that. OOH GP won't be able to do more as an outpatient although could refer to paeds for assessment tonight if you are concerned.

Mama1980 · 14/09/2012 17:51

Your Definitely not neurotic! I second what everyone has but if he gets hotter go to a and e and refuse to leave until they sort this out. A and e drs aren't specialised in children's medicine usually but there will be someone on call.

slightlycrumpled · 14/09/2012 17:53

Also A & E will in all likelihood run blood tests there and then, & probably a chest x-ray.
It is very hard when it has gone on for a while to feel that hospital is the best place, but your hands are tied.

Personally, I would move GP's at some point. Not even had basic blood tests done is not on.

PooPooOnMars · 14/09/2012 17:56

I can't believe your gp hasn't even sent you for blood tests!

Original poster

KinkyGerlinky · 14/09/2012 17:59

squeakytoy - yes last month he was diagnosed with tonsillitis (for teh first time), we gave him the full course of antibiotics but his throat is a bit red now so maybe it has come back?

Personally I think he may have a compromised immune system, for whatever reason, I just want to know that it is nothing life threatening

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QuintessentialShadows · 14/09/2012 18:01

He sounds a little bit like my ds1, when he was a toddler. Hot, lethargic, always ill, too little energy to play. My gp refused to do blood tests, said "it is too upsetting for little ones". Then he became really ill while on holiday in Poland, and he was admitted. They took lots of bloodtests and found he had severe iron deficient aenemia.

I hope you get your ds seen soon.

Pancakeflipper · 14/09/2012 18:07

My youngest was ill for over 6 months before the GP agreed to refer us to a consultant at the hospital. And that was only when the Health Visitor intervene - I went to them desperate. Not seem them for ages but they did help.

Make a diary of the illness and take it with you to A&E. And you keep going because someone one day will take it seriously. It's just finding that someone.

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