term time holiday... argh don't know if what I want to do is right

[PrincessScrumpy]

I've always been against this but it's probably my only chance to visit my brother in Canada.

dd1 started school 2 weeks ago. Originally our plan was to go to Canada last year. We planned a 2nd baby and were going to take him/her at about 3 months old so I could breast feed on the plane and all would be good. However, this didn't go to plan and we were blessed with wonderful twin girls. Dh and I could not face a flight of 9 1/2 hours with a 3yo and twin babies. So now dd1 is 4 and dtds are 1. If we don't go to Canada before dtds are 2 then I won't be able to justify the cost of us going as it will be close to a small house deposit, plus db is planning to have a family so their currently large house won't be able to accommodate us forever. So we thought we'd go this year. However, db travels a lot for work all through north America. He will be home for some of the Easter hols and a little bit after so we are thinking about taking dd1 out of school for the week after the Easter hols.

I'm worried how the school will react as I'm new to it all and really struggling with it morally. I think the trip will be really educational (visiting glaciers, trip to Rockies etc) and we'll stay at my brother's so dd1 can do homework easily.

Sorry to ramble on. I just think I'm so close to it I can't see all the sides. Should I take her out of school or accept I won't see my brother for many years except on Skype?

Go! At that age she'll 'learn' far more over there than she would at school anyway. Most schools allow you 10 days leave for hoildays, family visits etc.. Just have a word with the teacher about it, they'll be fine with it. Maybe she could make a scrap book or something out there and show her class when she returns.

Well, i took my DD out of school to go to the isle of wight last year - shes 7. HTH

Go. Non-issue at that age. Mind you, I'd be inclined to wait until the DC are older so they can enjoy it too.

My DS (10) is flying out to Florida on Tues for 10 days in Florida with 4of his cousins & my parents. I filled in the required 'permission' slip, school refused permission (they have to I was told) ............he's stil going!

Defo go before they are two! I have an older one and twins, and now they are four its is so shockingly expensive for five that we have never been on a plane.

Really a family visit to another continent has got to be a massive education. don't hesitate! Write a letter explaining politely, emphasise family connection, and trip-of-lifetime-ness, and use 'we are' type language rather than 'can we'

Completely different point, are you sure you and dh want to spend 8-9 hours on a plane with one big baby twin on your respective laps? I live in Canada with family in the UK and would not do it without seats for each child. They won't sleep and it will be hard for you to eat, drink etc. let alone help your 5 year old with toilet, movies, etc.

Just hope it's a quiet flight!

Like you, in principal I am against term time holidays, but in your case, it sounds entirely sensible. Would suggest you write to head explaining reasons and I'm sure (hope) it will be fine. good luck

shubiedoo oh I expect the flight to be hell but dd1 is good at entertaining herself and dh and I can take turns having 2 babies on our laps reading them stories. It's not ideal but twins is always a bit tricky so sometimes you just have to go with it. The flights will be £1,900 so adding 2 extra seats would add another £1,200 to that. We will also be hiring a car and paying to stay in the rockies for a few nights so the extra £1,200 is simply not an option - I doubt 18mo babies would sit in them anyway. It's a day flight out so no need for sleep but trip home will be less fun.
Mrskeithrichards not sure it'll be that quiet with us on the flight!

Nope not at all Euphemia,it's a week,she's 4 and in rec-seriously!!!

She won't miss anything she can't do with m&d on the plane(a couple of sounds and a number).She won't miss anything that could have lasting effects on her education.

Instead she'll have 4 adults giving her a lot of attention(as opposed to 1 stretched round 30),reading stories,showing her a foreign country,flying on a plane,handling foreign money,counting,looking at foreign vegetation,eating foreign food and habitats.....

Also I get a little that parents can't be entrusted with the education of their children for a week.The vast majority of parents teach their kids to eat,dress,walk,ride a bike,handle books,talk etc,etc.I think most could handle covering a couple of sounds under the guidance of a teacher if she/he was happy to take a few minutes out to explain pronunciation.If not there are plenty of places online to suss it out.

Definately go!

A child does not legally have to be in school till the term after their 5th birthday in the UK. For example if your child is due to turn 5 this coming January, she actually doesn't legally have to be in school till after the Easter break. Even then, some local authorities will allow 2 weeks holiday a year. Let the school know your DD will be away and the dates involved. Tell them you are happy to take homework with you. Then enjoy the holiday! It will be very educational!

The Educational Social Workers (ESW's) won't be interested as she is too young and her attendance is otherwise good. They will be seeking out those with attendance of 80%/60% and lower.

I wouldn't hesitate to take them. It sounds like it may be a once in a lifetime trip. Prairieflower advice sounds reasoned and balanced. What do you mean 'morally' wrong?

Of course it is not unreasonable to want to take your child to visit family in school time. I do think Yabu though to say you have always been against (until you want to do it ;)) I've never understood why some people get so judgey about other people taking their own children on holiday! Most schools recognise that some children will need to be absent for various reasons and allow 10days for this. Is it ok for a 4 year old to miss a couple of days of school, yes. Just use your judgement is it ok for a teenager to go on holiday for 2 weeks right before their gcses, no. Its all about common sense, and if you decide that is what you want to do it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks :)

Would like to clarify - when I say against hols in school time I mean it's something I have always thought I wouldn't do, I don't judge others for doing it as everyone has their reasons and I know lots of forces families who can only go when the dad is home from deployment so no I'm not judging others at all - I have stupid expectations for myself and seem to still be scared of upsetting teachers!

I must admit I expected to get flamed on here but everyone is supportive. Thank you :)