To be annoyed with my boss announcing my pregnancy?

[NobbyD]

I am 11wks preg and told my line manager last week to explain all my recent and impending absences from work. I asked her to keep it confidential and between us two until after my 12 week scan.

Today I recieve a letter from HR congratulating me on my preg and telling me when I can take mat leave. I am annoyed that my boss had gone and announced it to HR before I even have a EDD from scan, especially as i asked her to keep confidential.

AIBU to be annoyed and should I confront her about her lack of respect for my confidential information? Or is there some employment law that says she must tell HR due to H&S or some such even if I ask her not to?

YANBU - but if it helps my HR dept did a similar thing.

I told my boss and HR at the same time, but said I wanted to keep it confidential as I had misscarried previously. That afternoon the H&S lady came in to our office (shared by 8 of us) and quite loudly said "So happy to hear your news, now lets make sure your desk is properly set up so you don't damage yourself now you're pregnant"

I was fuming, of course office gossip spreads really quickly, and some of my closer freinds at work found out via the grapevine before I was able to tell them in person, one of them is still not talking to me over this, almost 4 years later :(

YABU, your employer has a duty of care towards you, once you announce you are pregnant your line manager has to inform HR, and then your line manager is duty bound to carry out a risk assessment for you. What would have happend if you told your manager that you were pregnant, she told nobody for weeks then you hurt yourself at work, your manager would have been in deep shit.

And it was a letter that HR sent you, it was not a notice pinned on the notice board telling all and sundry.

Possibly your boss thought you meant don't tell colleagues. I know you said "keep it between us two" but perhaps she still thought that. HR need to know because there is a legal duty of care here. Risk assessments and so on. There are procedures to follow when you become aware that an employee is pregnant and consequences for not following them.

Could that be it, do you think?

Perhaps it would be a good thing to ask her. Maybe she had no choice but to inform HR as soon as she became aware. But she should have told you that she would have to do that.

X-post with Vodka who said the same thing much better than me

YABU and YANBU really. As vodka said, there are procedures to be followed so your boss couldn't really keep it secret. But she should have told you that she wasn't going to keep it confidential so that you weren't surprised when you got the letter.

I think hr sending a letter is fine. My maternity cover job was advertised at 13 weeks. I'd had a mc previously & felt that was a bit soon for looking for my replacement.

Yabu. Your manager had to tell hr. they are not telling your actual colleagues which would have been inappropriate.

But yes, your manager should have told you that she has to inform HR, I had to fill in a form and then my manager sent everything off so I knew that she was informing HR

MTBMummy - you should have made a formal complaint against the H&S for breaching confidentiality.

In many workplaces (IME all of them) you get sidelined or treated differently when everyone finds out you are pregnant or if they learn you have major health issues (mental health, cancer etc). This may be against legislation but everyone knows it happens and so HR employees should be hyper-sensitive to this.

NobbyD - YAB (a little) U - you should have known that if you tell your boss in the office (i.e. in her capacity as your boss and not as a mate) that she'd have to tell HR. HR approaching you via a congratulatory letter is fine (as long as they didn't stick it in a big red envelope marked To Preggo NobbyD in the internal mail).

I think your boss was meant to tell HR, but they should have told you that. I'd be inclined to mention it to them saying you appreciate that they may have had to tell hr, but you'd have prefer if they would have just told you that.

I remember telling my evil boss I was pregnant, quite early on as I felt I needed the protection that declaring the pregnancy gave me. She wanted to tell her management so she could use it as an excuse to not do some work they'd assigned her. That was truly unreasonable!

YABU- your boss has a duty of care and must complete risk assessments etc once you have told them that you are pregnant. If you work in an office then all this seems a bit OTT at such an early stage but employment law is also set up to protect women who work in other places (factories, cleaners, building sites etc) who may be coming into contact with hazardous chemicals have high-risk physical jobs to do. Your boss was right to tell HR and start the process of making sure that you and your unborn baby are protected.

If you boss had discussed it anyone other than HR then YANBU. One of my bosses announced my pregnancy to the whole office in the 'news' section of an office meeting, without asking me if I minded. I had already told my immediate colleagues but still felt a little bit violated!!

Your boss has not "announced" your pregnancy. Your colleagues are still unaware of it. She informed HR, that is a very different thing. She may well be obliged to do so as soon as she is made aware of it. Sorry, but I think you need to get a grip here.

She probably is required to tell HR, because your employer has legal obligations to ensure that your workplace is safe. She probably also has to account to HR for your absences.

If she'd stood up on a chair and announced it in the office, that would have been unreasonable.