to be worried about violent child at nursery?

[LucyInTheSkyWithoutDiamonds]

Took DS for a settling in session at nursery yesterday. The 2-5 year olds all share the same room. A little boy of about 3-4 years old attacked a little boy right in front of me (no provocation as far as I could see) and marked his face badly. A staff member immediately separated them but the 'agressor' started kicking out at her and she had to drag him away. I heard her say that he had bitten her. I was quite shocked and the boy seemed quite impassive throughout.

DS is just 2 and although I am aware that toddler fights are par for the course at this age (I have older twin boys!), I was concerned that the boy attacked the other one for no reason and that he went for the staff member.

AIBU to decide that I do not want to put DS with this child. The nursery are taking steps to deal with the behavior so they have told me but I would rather not put DS at risk. The nursery is fine apart from this. AIBU to ring them and tell them I will not be sending DS? If I had not witnessed it, it would not have occurred to me to worry about it iyswim.

There is always one in a class, honestly there is. It sounds like they dealt with the boy properly. Your ds wasn't attacked so unless he is just go ahead and send him like you were going to anyway. It might well be that that was the boy's one and only day at nursery

My DS was bitten on a nursery visit, I still sent him and he loved it there. Unfortunately as has been said, there is always one, or more than one, or 'the one' changes.

Agree with previous posters. There is always one. At least here you got to see how well it was handled. At another nursery there will still be one, but they may not be so on the ball. Better the devil you know!

You'll always come across a child who will be classed as the "violent" child. Regardless of what age or place you leave your child. It sounds like the staff are dealing with it and that they can't prevent the incidents but they are dealing with the child.

Agree with everyone else. You saw them dealing with it properly and that's the main thing

Wherever he goes there will be a child who finds it difficult to manage his emotions and one day it might well be your child!

Unfortunately there is always 1.

My DS who has just left his nursery to start school had a little boy that hurt my DS on a couple of occasions (he also sent a little girl to hospital)!!!!!!

His mum was completely in denial as I was in the room when they told her what her 4 year old had done to the little girl - she just said 'oh he must be tired, maybe he should start having naps at nursery'!!!! They stop napping when they start pre-school at 3.

I told the nursery my concerns after the 2nd incident and they did keep a handle on the child and he was a lot more closely watched and he eventually began to behave better. If it was my DS sent to hospital because of him though I wouldn't have been so calm!

Good luck finding a nursery with no children who lash out occassionally!

The important thing is how the nursery deal with incidents

Thanks for your opinions. Have decided on another nursery with age separated rooms now. I was more concerned at the child going for the staff more than the other child and the fact that DS would be one of the youngest in the room. Of course DCs 'lash out' but I got the impression that this was a bit more than the usual toddler behaviour.

Biting, attacking adults and marking faces normal? Sorry i have not come across these extremes except on one occasion where a little girl used to try and scratch eyes. The nursery staff asked the parents not to bring her back until the behaviour was dealt with.

YADNBU my child has been pushed and hit but I would have serious issue with what you have described.