to get a bit annoyed at some of the parents during baby singing group...

[SingingTheBlues]

I lead the baby singing group at the library where I work. It's on for half an hour, is completely free and is a pretty casual group - we have toys that the children can play with etc...

So AIBU to get annoyed when parents come along who seem to have no intention of joining in?
I don't mean the ones who don't sing loudly - I make enough noise for the whole group and I understand that some people feel very self conscious about public 'performing' - I mean the parents who sit in the circle and just talk amongst themselves while I am trying to lead the songs.

It's really offputting to be attempting to get everyone joining in when some parents are just discussing what they will be doing at the weekend etc... We don't kick people out straight after the singing ends, we leave all the chairs etc so that people can sit and chat afterwards and it's only on for 30 minutes because that seems to be the 'boredom threshold'

We try to sing songs that include some kind of interaction like Row, row, row your boat and Wheels on the bus. If parents don't want to join in, why do they bother coming along? Nobody makes them attend.

Hmm - might be slightly ranty actually - I have been awake for about three hours already

btw - have namechanged for this, I am an intermittent poster but just in case...

I do this job too.

I would introduce as many 'audience participation' songs as possible. (Evil cackle.)

PM me and i'll tell you what i do.
I did have to intervene in a group i did previously to this. I think i even said "Shushhh Ladies. Let's all sing together!" Which may have come over a bit Margaret Rutherford, but it did the trick and it didn't happen again so it was worth it. I think they felt more embarrassed than me!

YANBU - this annoys me so much too!

My favourite singing group starts with a genuinely lighthearted but clear setting out of the "rules" - things like the fee and the hat to put it in, making sure your child doesn't run about too much (limited space) but also a very clear "parents/carers please sing along, as it's how you teach your child to join in". It really works - the kids love it, the parents all enjoy it (he also sings the odd Stones or Beatles or Oasis or Grease song or anything else us oldies might like!) and we can chat either before or after.

Yanbu - we used to go to a tots music group and the woman running it politely asked any parents talking during the songs to stop.

I didn't enjoy it particularly - I love my kids, but there are things to be doing at 9.30am besides pretending to be an aeroplane, and doing heads, shoulders, knees and toes. Urk.

YANBU and I'm really surprised to read this

I've only been to playgroup once because I work full time but my mum regularly goes with my DS and it's one hour of play (chatting between the mums but they also interact with the babies/toddlers - impossible not to!) followed by 30 minutes of singing all together.

It's very interactive, often with the mums holding the babies/toddlers and swinging them around at different points in the songs etc. my poor mum's back!

You have to rev the kids up in a fun way which gets the message across. Best technique is get LOUDER and more EXCITING, RAAAAHHHH AND YAAAAAY and say RIGHT EVERYONE we're going to have to be LOUDER to drown out all those people talking at the back, let's try LOUDER no wait that's not LOUD enough can you be EVEN LOUDER etc.

The kids love being allowed to make noise so you can play on this. Oftentimes the parents get the message quickly and at the very least you feel in control and you know you have the room's attention.

Unfortunately when it's held in a library, getting louder and louder just results in more and more complaints from other users in our experience. It's trying to accommodate the desires of a wide range of people that makes it tricky, for us anyway.

The same thing happens at the toddler group that I run and yes I find it rude. After the play session we sit in a circle to sing. Some people go home if their child isn't into it or they have to collect other children. But the ones who sit and chat whule their little ones bundle the babies etc annoy me. Although I lead the singing, I feel a bit too shy to say anything. But maybe I will in future!

Not at all unreasonable, they are. Heavens, don't they know it's rude to talk during a performance, a class or generally when someone else is talking?!

I'll bet there are parents there who feel just as you do.

Do speak up, say "We love it when parents join in but if you want to chat, please do so away from the group so we can focus."

Once at a singing time an ex colleague of mine shamed a chatting parent by telling them off in the way she would have told the children off! Think it went along the lines of "no thank you mummy, we DON'T chatter when the children are singing, its VERY rude! It makes me have a sad face!" Slightly ott but did the trick!

At the one I go to we get a firm but friendly reminder at the start of every session not to let children wander outside the circle (as once one goes, they all go) and not to chat amongst ourselves. It's always taken well and everyone 'behaves'!