To think that dd2 isn't a 'tomboy', just a girl that likes trains?

[BrittaPerry]

And cars, tractors, builders and climbing about?

She is 2.5 and currently climbing all over me wearing a blue monster dressing gown and a thomas t shirt. Her favourite toys all have wheels and i buy her shoes from the boys ranges, because a) she likes them to be blue or have cars/trains on and b) girls shoes fall off or break at an alarming rate.

The sheer amount o people who have commented on this is amazing. I have also heard 'well, she likes Thomas because he is friendly, not because he is a train' and every time she picks up a doll people point it out. Or they randomly point out that she likes dolls too when they see her wearing her favourite thomas t shirt, blue coat, thomas wellies and bob the builder backpack ab playing in a toy car.

She is named after a famous feminist too, so people assumme i 'make' her like these things. Until they meet dreamy dd1 drawing a picture of a princess while wearing a pink flowery dress...

Girls are allowed to just be girls that like trains, surely? She is too young to even know that she isn't meant to. She also likes to play with he kitchen and dolls, but so what?

On a side note, any ideas for finding hairclips with trains on? I think i'm going o have to make some as she won't keep hers in. It is that or chop her hair again, but she looked like boris johnson last time...

My DD2 is like yours....she hasn't any boys clothes...but she likes trains and super heroes...she has a few "boys" type figures like action men and warrior type things...I like it and let her have what she wants. Nobody calls her a tomboy. It sounds like your DD gets that because she's in boys clothing. She doesn't choose them does she? It must be you at her age.

not that there is anything wrong with boys clothing on girls...

AThing what a crock of shit you do speak. It's not correct that ALL girls should aspire to being a fecking princess!

I suspect AThing's post should be read with a hint or irony and sarcasm!

I also dislike the use of the word "tomboy". It's not so bad when they're tiny. My 2.8 year old loves climbing trees, trains, trucks and boisterous behaviour. She also likes cooking and helping tidy up, and putting make up on with mummy.

What saddens me is when older girls use the term, as if being a girl wasn't good enough so they want to be like a boy. Why can't we just change society so that a girl who likes climbing trees, building dens, athletics and engineering is a girl who likes climbing trees, building dens, athletics and engineering. Not a tomboy.

Oh. Sorry Thing

A Nancy Boy?

I've heard Essex people say "Molly" in a disparaging way if a little boy likes dolls or whatever too.

My mate is idiotic about her boy....he LOVES my DDs pram and she won't buy him one.

The annoying thing about the tomboy label is that it divides people into either-or. You are either a traditional girl (pink, tutus and Barbies) or a tomboy (trains and tree-climbing). No sense that you can enjoy both mechanics and make-up. Even worse with boys: if they are to get to get the chance to try any traditional girlie pursuit, they have to take on a whole persona; there is very little understanding for the fact that you can enjoy both football and embroidery.

www.etsy.com/listing/35915521/thomas-the-tank-engine-fan-fabric-button

YANBU btw I find it annoying too - however not as completely ignorant as peiple saying boys who like playing with prams, dolls etc must be 'gay'. Yes because men don't puh buggies or hold babies

DD is currently playing with her Barbie, whose clothes are in a box next to her DIY kit with spanners, screwdriver etc. She has dollies, cars, cuddly toys - I would say she's just a normal little girl. I don't care if she wants "boys" toys or "girls" toys, just as long as she plays with them!

I chuckle a bit at he idea of taking a train off dd2 and giving her a barbie doll or omething. She would probably hit me with it :-)

My boys loved Barbie dolls - if you bend them over at the waist, hold one leg straight and one leg at right angles to her body it makes the perfect machine gun shape ;) haha

She knd of chooses them - she chooses some things in shops, and she asks to wear her favourite clothes, most of which happen to be designed for boys.

She has mstl inherited dd1s clothes, but the ones she goes for are the stronger colours and more practical shapes. If she wears a dress it gets in the way.

Tbh i put both of them in boys clothes quite a lot, because a lot of the time the only girls stuff in cheap places is all 'daddys little princess' and the boys stuff has stars, bright colours and dinosaurs :-)

Once they're not a baby, boys clothes are all skulls and spiders and stuff. All brown and navy and beige and khaki.

Girls clothes are rainbows and flowers. Why shouldn't a boy like things that actually look nice, bright, and pretty?
Why should they have to wear ugly dull things?

YANBU. It's normal for children to enjoy a wide range of toys, regardless of stereotypes. Every child is different and some will coincidentally "fit" the useless stereotype, others won't.

YANBU, I don't know why people have to pass comment atall- they are just toys that a young child has a preference for.

My DD likes Thomas, the drill set and workbench and the hot wheels car ramp that is her older brothers but she is only 17 months so I think it is the mechanics of these different toys she is fascinated by. However, she is obssessed with a doll that looks like a baby and since she could walk would make a beeline to them in a toy shop until one day I gave in and bought one. She takes it everywhere with her and ironically I feel I'm being judged by the mums at my DS's school whose toddlers don't seem to have dolls. The parents are liberal and fairly bohemian on a whole so I'm sure they are judging me for encouraging gendered at with DD but it is not like that atall it is just a toy!

Yanbu, toys are toys, some kids like dolls and prams some like trains
Ds likes trains, cars etc but not because that's all he's been given, he liked horses so I bought him my little ponies, he spends a lot of time with my nieces who love dolls and prams BUT he chooses to play with trains and cars

2 of my 3 girls used to self-identify as "tomboys", in primary school. They still tend towards many activities and clothes aimed at boys, now they are 12 and 11. The label doesn't really bother me, it's not ideal but it's not the worst thing to be called. Both of them often choose boys' clothes at the moment, they just don't like the pre-teen offerings for girls.

I'd give up on hairclips though for a toddler who's not keen. One battle you don't need. Boris hair would look quite cute on a toddler.

Here you go, OP, stick some of these on her hairslides. They even come ready-stickied.

YADNBU. I loved all sorts of toys and activities when I was little, and I had a rich and varied little life as a result. I really resent the term "Tom boy" and all the sexist and gender-stereotyped connotations that go with it. Children are children. Toys are toys. People really need to get over it.

And what pray, should we call a boy (like my DS) who enjoys playing with dolls, and home-making toys? Have we got a stupid, caricatured name for boys like that?

HiHowAreYou

I agree! I always try to buy DS bright clothes that I suppose are more unisex. I loathe all the khaki-tractor-brown "little man" outfits. It's just as limiting as all the froufy pink stuff for girls.

I always think that children look better dressed and more stylish when their clothes are more unisex in style and colour, anyway.

It strikes me as a bit... tacky... to see very girly little girls and "manly" little boys. Maybe that's the snob in me though...

Dd loved trains. We had all the Brio ones....she used to carry them round in an old handbag, and take them to bed.
I loved setting up train tracks, and would get very excited if I managed to use every bit of track.
I would even take photos of the more spectacular creations [ blush]

DD, 2.8 loves trains, cars, tractors, butterflies, aeroplanes, green, pink, tricycles, helicopters, police cars, peppa pig, fire engines, lorries, rockets, ladybirds, cats, yellow, purple, cats, dogs, horses, cranes, flowers, boats, diggers, bulldozers, footballs, babies, books, dressing up, and drawing.

I don't call her a tomboy or a princess, I call her a child.

MrsRobert - building tracks is ace, isn't it?

I think i mght have to try to encourage a love of dressing up dolls in my dds though - that, lego and train sets are the best toys for grown ups to 'help' with imo...

Trains are great. It annoys me how many people assume that, for a family day on the local steam train, it's for DS and DH and not me and DD as well. DD is just 2 and beginning to get enthusiastic about specific things - train, tractor, digger, cat, doggy, horsey, cow and sheep are her main things she points out. She already points out track and engine and cawidge.

Depending on the size of hair clip desired:
www.debscardsncrafts.co.uk/train-fabric-motif-13851-p.asp
www.ukcraftstore.com/category.php?id_category=14

It's easy to find hair slide blanks, but you need really good glue to keep the item attached. I can't recommend any because the ones which are good enough to do it, I have a reaction to and can't use.

(Also found on that hunt:
www.ukcraftstore.com/product.php?id_product=1651)