To feel uneasy about DS and nursery?

[SomebodySaveMe]

I probably am but something feels off. DS is at the nursery where I work. We have had a new person start who is going to work towards qualifications and is still waiting for a clear CRB check to come back so isn't allowed to toilet children etc.

I came back from my lunch and took DS to toilet. He was standing up and I told him to hold his willy so it didn't go everywhere. He replied 'you hold it mummy like blah blah does'
Blah blah being the new lady. I spoke to my manager who spoke to blah blah who says that she hasn't toiletry any child and we just need to watch for anything else DS might say and take it from there. She says that 90% of what kids say is the truth but on this instant DS may have gotten confused.

I feel very uneasy. It seems like a strange thing for a 3.6 year old to come out with. His language is about a year ahead of his age so it's not usual for him to get confused and he was adamant that this had happened.

Even if she had toileted him when she wasn't supposed to then why would she hold his willy?

Am I being PFB or is this a bit odd?

Not sure on this one. My hesitancy is because of her obvious lack of experience with children. I say this because when I started working with children a child asked me to help him. I did not have a clue what to do so I had to ask him what help he needed.

I do think you have the right to be concerned - at the very least she has broken a rule, however, I would be cautious of accusing someone before you actually have any clear evidence.

Ds is only 7 months, I am not looking forward to toilet training as I don't have a clue about boys and dh is going today that it's not his area and fright ineptitude

Meant freign inetitude

Somebody you are not being unreasonable. CRB checks are not the be all and end all and I think they can be a red herring. A lot of parents do not follow their instincts when they should in the name of crb. I think you need to speak to the manager about this. I would want to see the personal care policy. I would suggest at this age any worker should be promoting independence. However it could just be a naive worker who has just been a bit too helpful. I hope not to scare you because it's most probably nothing but it sounds like a training issue at the very least.

This sounds awful.

I run a pre-school and myself and all my staff would never ever hold a child's willy...never!!
And it does sound odd that your ds said what he did...why would he say that!!

Questions need to be asked......good luck.

It could be harmless, but I have worked in nurseries and pre schools and toileted countless children. I cannot think of a reason to hold a willy. Even with nappy changes with poo everywhere I wouldn't describe it as 'holding'.

All that is irrelevant though. You have mentioned this uneasy feeling more than once, so it must be strong. That's all that matters. If you have an instinct, listen to it.

Outraged how can you nt hold a willy to wipe underneath and make sure everywhere is poo free .

I'm going to keep an eye on the situation and see what else DS says. The manager is also my MIL so I know that she will properly investigate if she feels it's needed.
I've never felt the need to hold a child's willy to help them wee! The children all adore the new lady but there's something I can't put my finger on that doesn't feel right with her and this situation.

I've told DS that it would be helpful if he told me if anyone touches him there so that I know who's helping him go to the toilet. Probably the wrong thing to do but I didn't know what to say to him.

Thank you for all the replies.

You just kind of wipe! Holding suggests that your hand or fingers are in a fixed position. Wiping is different. You might 'hold a willy in your fingers with a baby wipe, but you'd be moving rather than holding.

Hope that makes sense. I know what I mean!