to feel so low after first birthday?

[newmummytobe79]

I am convinced I suffered (suffer?) with a bit of PND after my baby was born. Horrific labour resulting in EMCS. The first 6 months were a blur and I feel cheated when I meet those mums who bonded straight away and love motherhood with a passion.

I adore my child and over the past few months doubted why I ever felt so low ... but now it seems to be coming back.

Did anyone else feel sad after their childs first birthday? Or is it just the on-set of winter bringing me down?

I'm hoping the future will bring another baby - when the time is right, so I really don't know why my baby turning one should make me feel down as I can picture myself doing it again (although it scares me I will feel low again)

Or is it just the come-down of all the fun we had celebrating - a bit like the week after Christmas?

I haven't experienced anything like you but I feel for you all the same. A very close friend had a similar experience after her DS came along. All I can say is that she's fine now ( ds is 6) I think as mums we do feel sad at the thought of our babies growing up perhaps it is just that. Have a with me and here's to you surviving the first year!

I had/have horrendous PND and feel cheated generally. I am so jealous of women who've loved their first year with their child when mine was the worst of my life. Just to let you know you're not alone in feeling cheated.

It's not just the joyful anniversary of your child coming into the world, it's also the anniversary of you enduring a horrific labour, a frightening and traumatising experience. It is quite normal to have strong feelings of sadness or to even partl relive a frightening or painful or upsetting event on its anniversary. It's called 'the anniversary effect'. So your happiness and celebrations are lovely and normal but your remembering the trauma of the birth and having stronger than normal feelings and memories is normal too.

If you think it will help you could talk to a counsellor or the Birth Trauma Association. You may find now the anniversary is past, the strong feelings go away. Or it may help to talk about them.

Congratulations on your child's first birthday and on a year of parenthood. Commiserations that you had a horrible experience as you gave birth.
Wishing your family happiness in the years ahead.

:)

Thanks for your kind words :) and I did have a glass of BigRedCheeks which made me feel a bit better!

Napdamnyou I think you hit the nail on the head as I did have a few sleepless nights re-living the whole awful experience :( I'm hoping they'll pass now and I slept great last night :)

I hope you're feeling better now Mylittlepuds and I'm glad there are places like MN to make you realise you're not alone and it's a tough job being a mum!

I guess birthdays/anniversaries/etc are times to celebrate and to look back on the past - good or bad.

I'm hoping today will be a good day where I can look to the future with a :)

Like you, I had a horrific labour and then an emergency section. I only realise how traumatized I was about a year later when I looked back...now DD is 8 it seems even more awful!

I am fine now but I did get very anxious, tearful and worried for about three years after DD was born. Try to focus on Christmas now and how DS will love it all.xxx

newmummy Take care,if you ever feel down never fear mumsnet is here

newmummy I had a tough time (won't go into it here) and I spent a good few years feeling down as the birthdays of my DCs approached.

However, it has got better. With medication, counselling, acceptance.

That is what I needed. I'm not saying you need it, but I understand your feelings. It has got better for me. I never thought it would but it has.

My boys are 8 soon and for the past few years, I have enjoyed the day.

You sound like you have your wits about you. Take care. x

I think its quite normal to feel like this at 1st birthdays if the birth was traumatic. In my case DS was 11 weeks early and so we spent weeks in hospital. It is so normal with prem mums to feel rotten at first brithdays many of us didn't celebrate or mark it in any way, and this year (when ds is 30 is the first time I will even think about whether to have a party etc as I hated the time of his birth being emotionally the hardest day of my life as I thought Ds would die.

so DS will be 3 not 30!

I feel a little bit like this on all their birthdays. I think it's looking back on the year and knowing you're never going to get that time back. It is just a passing feeling, a little bit of terror in me that they're growing up much faster than I would like them to!

30 indeed!

i didnt have pnd but a bad birth and missed seeing ds being born,i cried when he turned 1 :(