To write this on a thank you card

[Alligatorpie]

friends have been trying to conceive, they went in on a joint gift for dd2. Is it ok to say something like " hopefully we will be doing the same for you soon" on their thank you cardm or that tacky? Cheers!

Oh God no, just thank them. Not tacky just inappropriate!

I think I would just stick with the standard thank you message incase they are feeling sensitive about TTC but you know them and how they are likely to react

Not wise just incase it takes them forever or they have problems conceiving!

I wouldnt.

We have been ttc for two yrs, and I wouldn't like to get a card like that.
There is no secret about the fact we are having problems conceiving dc2, but I wouldn't want it brought up on a card.

Just say thank you and how grateful you are/ how useful it is/ some other comment about what they bought.

Definitely not. As someone who took a long time to conceive I would have found this a sad reminder of what I didn't have.

Don't do it.

Good rule of thumb in social quandaries like this - if in doubt, don't.

Standard thank you card.

Über congratulations card and balloon if they conceive.

I reckon it's the kind of thing I might say or do. I think it's thoughtful and supportive.

I wouldn't - having been in the position of TTC for ages, you don't need reminders that it hasn't worked. Keep your gift and their attempts separate.
I can see what you are saying, and I don't mean to be harsh, because people do try to stay positive for you and they think it helps. It actually got easier for me to think as though the baby would never come and wasn't to be - a sort of self-defence.
Obviously it depends on how long they've been trying, and you know them and I don't. But I wanted to be able to be pleased for friends without everyone 'reminding' me it wasn't me - again!

Oops have just seen the above replies. At time of posting no replies were showing on my screen. I'm obviously tacky and inappropriate! Sorry to cause offense.

Thing is, it is supportive and thoughtful and comes from a good place BUT if the receivers are having a bad day it could come across as smug.

It's not thoughtful or supportive to the recipients it is a painful reminder of what they have not got. I say this from personal experience

Yes, that's what I was trying to get across Lucie

I understand the sentiment behind it, but I wouldn't - it took me 6 years to conceive dd1 I bought a lot of baby presents in that time. It may read as a bit smug although I know you don't mean it, there's no need to acknowledge their ttc.

I wasn't thinking about someone who had been trying and struggling for some time. I can see now that that would be different. When we told our family that we were trying for a baby we got similar comments from our siblings. We are trying again at the moment and wouldn't be offended. Again those sorry to those who would be upset by my comments.

Ok, thanks for the quick responses. I only just found they have been trying, I didn't know all the way through my pregnancy, so hope I never said noting to either of them to cause offense. Obviously I am trying to be supportive, and not insensitive.
Will write the card now, thanks again!

Noting= anything

I wouldn't. It's a bit insensitive.

kittyandthe goldenfontanelles never worry yourself. I never told my family I was trying, my parents knowing I'm having sex - the mortification

Oh don't wriggle! Me too! When I told them I was pregnant that was all I could think about!! There's no ignoring the fact now!