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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to go in the staff room??

103 replies

MrDobalina · 12/09/2012 21:41

I am volunteering at dds school, to get some experience in order to apply for a PGCE place.

I don't want to go in the staff room! I went home for lunch last week to avoid it Blush

Cant really explain it; its a mixture i think of it being a weird dynamic what with dd being in the school and me being a parent AND being transported back in time to my school days when staff-rooms were terrible places full of teachers that stank of coffee and fags

Can i continue to avoid it without looking like a pratt? or do i just need to woman-up? can i hide behind a magazine?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrDobalina · 13/09/2012 07:15

phew! exotic. Im glad you said that

OP posts:
Knowsabitabouteducation · 13/09/2012 07:22

I agree, exotic

LindyHemming · 13/09/2012 07:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 07:35

As a supply teacher I walked quite happily into my DCs staff room when supply teaching there but I had already been in as a volunteer. As a supply teacher, in a strange school, you don't know who are teachers, who are TAs or who are parents. I beilieve there are schools that are 'funny' about who uses staff rooms, but I seem to have missed them. I always ask if people have special mugs, beyond that I don't worry. If I have a parent helping I always get them to come to the staff room with me and find them a drink and introduce them. They generally are not that busy anyway - teachers don't have much time to sit around and chat!

Journey · 13/09/2012 07:37

If you were volunteering at my dcs school you wouldn't be allowed in the staff room. I think it is to do with confidentiality in case some teachers are discussing a pupil or need advice. I think it is a good stance especially if you're volunteering in a school which your dcs attend.

halcyondays · 13/09/2012 07:44

I'm sure they won't bite. I expect even if they were prone to slagging pupils off in the staff room they wouldn't do it if a parent volunteer was there.

I went to my old school when I was doing my dissertation and they invited me into the staff room.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 07:53

As a supply teacher I avoided any school that was precious about who went into the staff room, it would generally mean they were not very nice to work for. If they need to discuss a pupil, professionally, the staff room isn't the place for it.

amillionyears · 13/09/2012 08:12

Try thinking of it as you will be helping the kids by finding out how everything works behind the scenes.

amillionyears · 13/09/2012 08:14

Realise that post could look as if I am anti teachers which I am not.

redwineformethanks · 13/09/2012 09:22

If you're nervous about going into a staff room, is teaching really for you?

I'd say bite the bullet, take in a newspaper (in case no one talks to you) and don't drink coffee unless it's offered (in case you inadvertently break some unwritten rule)

TroublesomeEx · 13/09/2012 09:32

Hi OP, I'm a teacher and I don't particularly like going in the staffroom!

Oh the politics: who sits where, which cup can you use, how to you contribute to the tea fund... And as a parent volunteer it can feel quite awkward (done that too).

I can guarantee that very few none of the teachers will really be looking at you and thinking anything really. Walk in with a smile and a hello and then just ask someone. There will always be someone friendly who remembers the initial staffroom fear Smile

I think anyone suggesting that if you're fearful of the staffroom then maybe teaching isn't right for you has either never been in one or is very confident!

Some schools do have funny staffrooms/cliquey staff/unwritten rules that can never be challenged that have existed since the dawn of time. But most are fine.

If you are volunteering in the school on a regular basis you are as much a member of the school community as someone who has been paid to go there everyday for the past 20 years.

Most teachers will be professional and not discuss children negatively, but equally, the staffroom at lunchtime is the only time some members of staff have to pass on important information. (My daughter's just been diagnosed with an SN. I know the teacher has told other members of staff. I assume that it was done in the staffroom, maybe at lunchtime. I can't imagine she had time to walk round every classroom individually).

Just remember that if you do overhear anything. It goes in the vault and it stays there!

LindyHemming · 13/09/2012 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shelly32 · 13/09/2012 16:40

It's good to get to know them esp. if a job comes up at the school when you are looking? Your name has now got that song 'Mr Dobalina, Mr Bob Dobalina' going in my head! Nooo!

ihearsounds · 13/09/2012 19:26

Go in, but remember you might not like what you hear. Took me a couple of weeks when I first started to get the courage to go in. But soon realized how silly I had been. This is when you really get to know your colleagues, well apart from the Friday after work drink Wink, but if you aren't having a cuppa with them, you might not get an invite to all the social gatherings.

Some days we just have a giggle, at times it can be very outrageous. Have shocked a number of temp/trainees with some of the talk lol.
Sometimes the talk is about specific pupils and certain incidents, and generally wanting advice in how to deal with some things that do arise. Not in a nasty way, just sometimes you feel like banging your head against the wall. Or if a ta has noticed recurring specific things, they will be mentioned then because it's easier and no-one can accidentally hear.

If you have to contribute, there will be a notice in the staffroom, or someone will mention it. Don't worry about being a kiss arse, unless the staff are all super healthy, they will all take in stuff from time to time.. Although even the super healthy take in stuff.

Nanny0gg · 13/09/2012 19:42

The reasoning behind parents not going in the staffroom at my school was for reasons of letting off steam and confidentiality.
Parents were always well looked after with drinks and biscuits (if we had any), but the staffroom was for staff only.

scottishmummy · 13/09/2012 20:03

dark humour,a coping strategy is discussing kids and parents
it goes on. Its not pc it is a useful coping strategy.you'll hear it on pgde
if you sincerely do not want to hear about kids or parents you know chose another school

Original poster
MrDobalina · 13/09/2012 20:29

ok...i did it. What an anticlimax! It was fine, there was visitors cups and a contribution pot for coffee so no dilemmas Smile Spoke to a lovely ta who ive seen around the school but never had cause to talk to before.

1 member of staff was talking about the kids; i remember hearing her doing this before when i was in the staff room when helping out with xmas fair. I managed to blank it out completely, so didnt pick up any details or names. No one else was chatting about the kids

Was a bit dull though! Arent going to spend a whole hour in there every week! need a bit of fresh air

ihear im not really interested in getting involved socially with the staff at my dds school. When it comes to PGCE and future jobs, not really bothered either, my life is pretty full

scottish i did try to get into a different school for experience! no one was taking in volunteers other than through placements with PGCE or TA courses. I know a few other people in the same situation, and all have had to volunteer in schools their dcs are at

redwine really? do you really think my apprehension is indicative of not being suited to teaching?

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 20:33

I don't think that anyone has the time to be exciting!

scottishmummy · 13/09/2012 20:50

so take on board the teachers talk about kids,parents
enjoy your placement stop fussing about trivia
and whats said in staffroom stays in staffroom

mrsmillsfanclub · 13/09/2012 20:52

In my school parents of students are definitely not allowed in the staff room if they are volunteering. This is due to confidentiality, for example we might have to discuss another child and there could be a risk that the volunteer could pass on what we are saying to the parent of that child.
Personally I would go into the staffroom fill my cup up and say a quick hello so that I can say I have shown my face, but I'd take the drink back to wherever I was working and sit there.

School staff rooms are rarely relaxing places, talk usually turns to the job we're doing. That's why I go home for lunch (I'm lucky to live quite near).

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 21:14

I can't imagine how anyone has time to go home for lunch! You generally grab about 10 mins for a sandwich. TAs are the ones with the time. All the schools that I have taught in, which have been supportive and friendly, invite anyone who is helping into the staff room. I would feel very awkward saying to a parent-'would you like a cup of tea but I am afraid you will have to have it in the classroom'. I certainly wouldn't have volunteered in my DCs school if they were all precious about the staff room.

letseatgrandma · 13/09/2012 21:23

Parent helpers aren't allowed in the staff room and our school. The head feels that we (teachers) wouldn't be able to relax/let off steam etc if there were parents in there. It works well for us.

Original poster
MrDobalina · 13/09/2012 21:31

i dont find social anxiety trivial scottish

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 13/09/2012 21:37

if it's now social anxiety how will you cope teaching
wasn't this initially nerves in staff room?
are you now indicating a deeper issue?how will you address it to cope with demanding pg and career

scottishmummy · 13/09/2012 21:41

you're being v inconsistent and contradictory
either it's social anxiety or as you say staffroom was fine..anticlimax..no dilemma
only now have you suggested anxieties and issue?

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