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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About telling pregnant friends that DS has chicken-pox

18 replies

StormGlass · 12/09/2012 17:19

I went to the GP surgery with DS today for a routine appointment. While there, the nurse noticed a spotty rash on DS's legs, got the doctor, and it turns out that he's just started with chicken pox. The doctor said to keep him away from people until the spots have scabbed over, and specifically mentioned keeping him away from pregnant women.

Over the last few days, we've met up with a number of friends, including 2 women that I know to be pregnant. So after leaving the surgery, I rang my pregnant friends and informed them about DS's chicken-pox.
I figured that if they're not immune and have been exposed to chicken-pox via DS, then if they find out early, there's a better chance that something will be able to be done about it (I know there's vaccines and anti-viral medicines around that can be used against chicken-pox these days). But both of them told me that they'd had chicken-pox when kids, so hopefully they're both still immune anyway.

I spoke to DH later, and he told me that I had been stupid and should not have mentioned DS's chicken-pox to my pregnant friends, because "Now if they have deformed babies they'll blame us" Confused
DH is also scoffing at the notion of DS having chicken-pox, despite not having seen DS's spotty rash.

WIBU to tell my pregnant friends about DS's chicken pox?

OP posts:
Shesparkles · 12/09/2012 17:21

You were considerate and responsible in telling your friends. Your husband is being an arse!

lljkk · 12/09/2012 17:21

I think you're both overthinking it.

Longtalljosie · 12/09/2012 17:21

Your DH is being an idiot, and you have done absolutely the right thing.

RuleBritannia · 12/09/2012 17:22

No YWNBU to tell your friends. If anything untoward happened, it would not be your fault.

If they chose to consort with you after being told, they cannot complain if they or their children catch it or are born with something inconvenient.

ThreeWheelsGood · 12/09/2012 17:23

YWNBU - what a horrible thing for your DH to say! You did the right thing.

MrsReiver · 12/09/2012 17:23

You were very reasonable to tell your friends, if I found out someone had kept the fact their DS had The Pox from me I would be very upset.

Your DH is being an pratt.

If your friends have had chicken pox they are immune and safe, but I'm sure they appreciated the concern.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 12/09/2012 17:25

Ywnbu at all

You DH is being a nobber IMO!

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 12/09/2012 17:28

your DH sounds like an idiot!

if you are exposed when pregnant they can test you for immunity, having had it as a child doesn't guarentee that you are immune.

ddubsgirl · 12/09/2012 17:31

your DH is a twat i was exposed with ds2 and my twins both early in pregnancy told gp he said risk is very very small and that as i had cp as a kid i would be fine,you did the right thing in telling them

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/09/2012 18:26

You behaved very responsibly.

Is your DH an ambulance-chaser a lawyer? It is a very idiotic strange thing to say.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 12/09/2012 18:34

Your dh sounds like a nob. Obviously, you did the right thing by telling your friends.

Socknickingpixie · 12/09/2012 18:38

yanbu hes being very ur

NotAnAxeMurderer · 12/09/2012 18:44

He's being a tit.

Also, I think even if you've had the chicken pox virus it still goes into your body to be fought off by the antibodies. Your unborn child doesn't have the antibodies so is at risk.

Please someone tell me if I am misinformed here...

peggyblackett · 12/09/2012 18:45

He's being an arse, and you are being responsible and a good friend.

StormGlass · 12/09/2012 18:47

Thanks all Smile

Dh has now come home and seen DS's spotty rash for himself, and has said that it looks like chicken pox to him too - it seems that he thought that DS could not possibly have chicken pox and that the surgery staff were jumping to ridiculous conclusions. Goodness only knows why he thought that, it's not as if DS is kept in some virus proof bubble. And I'm sure doctors and nurses working in GP surgeries see more chicken pox in a year than he has in a lifetime....

OP posts:
MyLastDuchess · 12/09/2012 20:08

Your DH was being ridiculous and his comment makes no sense anyway. So if they got sick they should wait to discover it was CP on their own (unlikely I know, all things considered) rather than going straight to the doctor and being able to discuss the possibilities?

My DS had chicken pox a few weeks back and I warned everybody. I and most adults I know have already had CP but I know someone who had it as an adult a few years back and he was horribly ill. Plus some people know that they are prone to shingles.

One of my pregnant friends turned out to be one of the unfortunate people who gets shingles, so she made sure to give us a wide berth for the rest of the time that DS had the pox. Luckily my friend suffered no ill effects!

TheLaineyWayIsEssex · 12/09/2012 21:22

^^Afaik can't get shingles from chicken pox, but you can get chicken pox from someone with shingles

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 12/09/2012 21:26

you can catch chicken pox from physical contact with shingles (as opposed to catching chicken pox from chicken pox which is also air bourne)
you can't catch shingles from chicken pox
but you can catch chicken pox more than once!

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