This has been bugging me.

[cbeebiesinducedcoma]

I went granted a bit early to pick DC up from playgroup.
Some woman was ushering away kids from the door, and then started a long loud conversation about 'concerns' but not in a nice way at all.

I was waiting in the foyer area when I could a very loud conversation about at first a girl, It went along the lines of;
"I hate to say but Child obesity makes my heart bleed, there's even crisps in her bag , who'd put crisps in her bag, someone else came along saying 'Who you talking about?'
'X' all really loud I could hear this through 2 locked doors, I mean god forbid the girls mother had been there. And then I swore my child's name was used.toilet training is a big issue atm, and I heard 'X too with his toilet training (some child screaming) his mum' but It wasn't crystal clear and 'his mum' was which is obviously me. There is only one child with that name there so no mistaking that.
My issue is with the lack of professionality surely that's a conversation for the office?
also because my child was included in this he is being assessed very soon, and plus someone who had me on fb who worked there has now de friended me which I'm a bit about even more now. God I don't need this .

This has really been bugging me and I'm at a loss what to do, we live in a small community so any kind of punitive gossip is hugely serious.

And what happened when you asked them about it?

If they are employed by the school make a formal complaint if it has upset you that much.

I didn't ask them, I overheard a very loud and inappropriate conversation.

they aren't school employed.

I'm wondering if complaining or confrontation is the best course but at the same time I don't want to do nothing.

Confront her - doesn't have to be aggressive - just suggest she keeps hurtful opinions to herself or addresses them in private to the individuals concerned.

If you can't do that, I would still go and speak to someone in authority at the school - I realise it is a personally overheard thing, but the fact is that the children could also have overheard.

You should go and speak to the manager and explain what happened and let them deal with it ,but they should definitely be told.

not polite, not nice, not professional. Whichever way you look at it, these sorts of conversations should be in private if necessary - not just treated like so much chitchat.

I would personally have said something, not confrontationally - but not fluffily, but I am not afraid to speak my mind on these sorts of things. I would personally still say something to whomever could address the subject, now the moment has passed as it isn't on really. feel sorry for the kids if they heard. :(

I thought that too I'm going to have a convo with my partner too.

yes both children will have been in the room I can't believe a childcare pro would behave in that way its also the nastiness of it too, but If I was responsible for her losing her job or whatever would it become messy for me too and would all the staff member become nastier towards me?

I suffer from anxiety so I'm probably an easy target.

Whether they are employed by the school or not is kind of irrelevant - as you said it was a loud, inappropriate conversation, in front of the children. Confrontation and complaining are not the answer. Asking the person about it is.

Something like:
"When I came to pick up the other day, I overheard you say this......blah. Could you explain it to me?"

"Oh, well I was very upset by it. Firstly I feel it's inappropriate to have that conversation in front of the children, secondly if there is any issue with my DC please speak to me about it and we can work on it together" big fake

It might be worth attending an assertiveness course - really helped with my anxiety.

Also if you chat to them and they become nasty about it, they deserve to be complained about and to face the consequences. That would not be your fault and would help with your anxiety if you can find a way to not think on negative scenarios.

I agree its annoying the bit where I/my child was mentioned was not crystal clear which will look suspicious If I were to complain.

I'm just so and I have this image in my head of them all slagging me off.

That is probably your anxiety playing tricks on you. Have the chat. It is important.

I know how you feel, i've been the target of a witch hunt in the playground before and it is awful, people talking about you and spreading poison it's horrible, parenthood makes some people irrational i think. you feel like you're back at school yourself! when are these people going to realise that we are all in the same boat and trying to do our best, a little solidarity wouldn't go amiss!

That is probably your anxiety playing tricks on you. Have the chat. It is important.

Not really due to distance i rarely pick up its usually DP who goes later, I arrived early, its too much of a coincidence that it was a one off .

Anyway update , I emailed manager politely I feel a bit shaky now.

I'm sorry that you've been made to feel that way, it's not right. Do you feel a bit better for doing it?

I still feel shaky and awaiting a reply , I just feel like a shivering mouse in a nest of vipers atm, I'm wondering what response I get I have never made a complaint in my life.

Sorry to double post my DP will have a quiet word tommorrow,

I have sent message and both of our computers have saved copies so any funny buisness we have black and white proof that I am not trying to cause trouble etc.

It's a terrible feeling being that anxious. At least you have done what you had to do in the correct manner, your conscience is clear.

Update:
The manager replied to me basically saying it will be investigated tommorrow.

My DP was spoken to this morning being told I must have overheard a conversation between 2 colleagues and overheard my DC reading/being read a book and that there were no conversations about my DC and toilet training and that they didn't realize how much could be heard. so erm

not sure where to go from there.

Go back on email and say 'thank you for your response to DH this morning. As you can appreciate, my point wasn't about who was being discussed, rather that any discussion about any child in that particular area can be clearly overheard, as you have now acknowledged. Please can you confirm the steps that you are taking to address this issue?'

Okay update:

I messaged the manager along the lines of 'Thankyou for discussing this with my DP this morning, I realize being able to hear so much conflicted with confidentiality and could be overheard by people who would be delighted to use that information as cruel gossip. thankyou again for listening.

They did thank me for bringing it to their attention, I'm a little bit torn I know what I heard.
But I feel I have sown the seed.Many mothers will have/would have done nothing. Not me, we are not paying to be slagged off or for my child to overhear supercilious gossip.

They mentioned me bringing in my child's potty so they could try whilst he was there. My mum said go for it if he's resistant with them they have no ammo and realize the issue isn't you.