To think that 50shades (and other erotic fiction) is not the same as internet porn.

[boodles]

Let me first say I haven't actually read 50shades (from what I have heard it is crap) but I know lots of ladies do and I know many ladies also enjoy other erotic fiction.

AIBU to be fed up with hearing people, my BIL for example and also people on threads on the internet, compairing a lady reading erotic fiction to a man watching on line porn. My BIL 'Hahaha, she can't have a go at me for watching porn any more, not now she [his wife] is reading that 50shades book'. To me, words on a page are not comparable to internet porn, GAH!

You aren't getting my point.

Lady.. Gentleman.

Man.. Woman.

The language you used was telling of how you felt about the situation.

You think that the language I used was telling, when, infact, it wasn't. I use lady/woman interchangilbly and I rarely use the word gentleman. How I felt about the situation was more summed up by the word 'GAH' at the end.

Own the context Boodles, man/lady is one of the most entrenched asymmetrical gendered pairs in our language and I have never been surprised to be picked up on it. You may not have meant it to be sexist but it should be clear how the two words imply unequal roles.

i have watched porn and read all 3 books.

christian grey is an emotinally abusive bastard, he likes to whip and fuck women that looked like his crack whore mother. when Ana doesn't do what she is told he uses sex to punish her.

To me 50 SOG is not porn it is a manuel that says to women just put up with the emotinal crap and one day just one day he will change

The reason that all these things have different names is because they are all different things. There is no point in referring to everything with any sexual content as porn because then we would have to add endless adjectives.

And I can't be bothered to say Japanese plot based cartoon fiction porn, Japanese plot-what-plot cartoon based fictional porn, Western written plot based fiction porn, Western plot-what-plot non fiction visual porn and so on It would just be stupid.

Oh dear.

I used to write erotica for a living (of a better standard than 50 shades, thankyouverymuch!;-p) and I've written product descriptions for erotic goods websites (I'm a copywriter) I'm very much pro-sex and think fantasy is a healthy part of this.

However, I am anti-porn. Firstly, because of the risk of exploitation to those involved. Secondly, because I think it has a hugely detrimental effect on the developing attitudes of teenage boys who view increasingly misogynistic images from a young age, and on girls who think sex is about looking 'sexy' rather than enjoying yourself. Thirdly, because i personally just don't like most of it! It's like the fast food of sex! And it tends to be geared towards male viewers and what turns them on, which leaves me constantly thinking 'hey, that wouldn't feel good!' or feeling a bit bored by the whole thing. Erotic fiction, in the other hand, requires you to use imagination, allows for creativity and doesn't involve the potential issues that come with real people being involved.

So in a nutshell, I love sex (and, erm, strumming my harp ;-p) but I think porn is really unsexy for all the reasons above. I appreciate that some people love it and I'd encourage them to seek out indie porn - some of this i don't mind as there are some great producers out there, including some women who make good kinky porn that's not just about misogynist idiocy but explores mutually enjoyable kinkiness - and who doesn't like a bit of that from time to time?:-p