To ask for a meeting with DDs teacher in week 2 of term!

[2girls2dogs]

All of her peers seem to reading books, harry potter etc and such like - but she is at key stage one still. She has always struggled and i have worried but my DP just says "she'll catch up". The school haven't seemed overly concerned - she has extra help and goes off during lessons for this.

Im starting to worry this isn't enough

I don't do tht much reading with her at home because she doesn't like it, this is because she gets frustrated sad I have been concentrating more on getting her to read signs out and about, reading things on games that we play than sitting down wiht books with her. She likes to be read to and i read alot to her, im reading her a book from my kindle and she loves it, my DP is reading harry potter to her at bedtime. She does read to DP but its the same books over and over - she is clearly just memorising and wont read other books, she has 100s of books to choose from as i buy them from charity shops.

in one way i think she will catch up, it will just click but i'm kidding myself. I sat and read her school book tonight (she only "remembered" to change it today because she had to read to her teacher and ive nagged her every day) and she was fine with what she had read to the teacher (she memorises it) but when it came to reading the new stuff she really struggled so then got upset and didn't want to do it. The way she sounds things out is illogical, she will sound out the begining of a word ok, and then try and fill in with something either random or what she thinks it should be - so earlier, Stand = St an ball????

Ive worried that she is dyslexic since before school but i think they think im mad, but her dad is dyslexic although he wont have it tht he is, i know he is and she has had "signs" since she was very young.

Its only week two of the term, do you think its too early to make an appointment with her teacher, i feel like I am letting her down sad Ive asked for her to be assessed for dyslexia but they keep telling me they don't do that yet sad The school is an excellent school, by far the best in the area, she very very happy there, but they don't have the best records for special needs

2girls - is there any hint that she might not be wanting to read because she thinks that you won't read to her once she can? DS is perfectly capable of reading books himself, but I still read to him because we both enjoy it - often (but not always) its at bedtime so he can wind down more than if he was actively reading. However, its still good from the point of view of intonation and emphasis - something that's difficult to do when you start reading.

you might like to post a new thread in special needs children and ask or advice as to how you could help.

not pressurising her at home is going to be very important, but there will be effective and fairly simple to administer interventions that you could be using at home

I don't think its that mistle, but i will have to make it clear to her that of course we wont stop reading to her am enjoying the excuse to be reading things like the pheonix and the carpet again if im honest

I think she has taken a step back over the holidays if im honest, maybe she just needs some time to resettle, if that makes sense - yes, there is a problem but she was definately able to read better before the holidays. I feel really bad about this but we had such a lovely relaxed holiday together tht i didn't want to have the pressure of the reading as the elephant in the room the whole time so i didn't push it.

well done!

SENCOs arent normally the people who conduct assessments. A full assessemnt for dyslexia is done by an Educational Physcologist. there are specialist teachers who can do less in depth assessments (cost about half the price). Our SENCO (and other professionals we spoke to -paediatrician, Ed psych etc) said not to worry about the actual; assessment at this stage...you need to concentrate on supporting her learning.

Its really confusing. I thought you needed an assessment to identify the problem before you could help the child. But not so.

Also, you will need to grow a thick skin IME. In general people do not understand dyslexia, or have much symathy for it. I have had close friends infer/say directly that dds difficulty is because she doesnt have books at home (our house is bursting at the seams with books!) and; its because I dont read with her enough (as evidenced by lack of filling in reading record ) and; its because she doesnt listen

I have put a really positive spin on it for dd; explained that dyslexic brains work slightly differently and dyslexic children therefore learn in a slightly different way. Some things dd will find harder than non-dyslexic friends but somethings she will excel at because she is dyslexic

Tell her about all the rich entrepreneaurs!
It is thought Einstein was probably dyslexic
Benjamin Zephaniah- who writes childrens books/poetry

look for role models

it is not a barrier to anything
I know its quite devestating now, but it ok really

I've just posted in your other thread, but you mentioned that you were going to stay here is there is more traffic. I just wanted to say don't give up on that thread! There are a lot of people who post regularly in the Primary section who have a lot of helpful advice. You may also find it helpful to read through similar past threads as you will get a lot of pointers about what you can actually DO to help.

Good luck with your appointment, it can be helpful to have a formal assessment but this will only give a label - it won't actually change the situation. It could also take a long time, even if you go privately, and it may be better to find something that could get you started straightaway. eg order this structured system which alot of people swear by and could be good for your daughter now that she is a bit older. You (and the school) but mainly you need to try and work out the cause of her difficulties and therefore what you can do that will help improve things for her.

How is her spelling by the way? I'm guessing not great?

DD has had huge improvement with EasyRead system. (Disclaimer: I know I put this up here alot, but it took me along time to find out about it and a lot of research and it has really helped us, discount it if you wish, but if you never know it's there, then you can't know if it could work for you!)

It expensive, at £700, but an EP report is about £550 and often doesn't tell you more than what you already know.

Oh 2girls2dogs I completely sympathize. My DD2 is yr3 and in exactly the same situation. For two years I have been fobbed off by her teachers, and the head. Really hasn't helped that DD1 is very bright and I have been accused many times of trying to compare the two. I really don't care if they don't learn in the same way or take different paths, I only care that DD2 isn't being supported in the way she deserved.
Also like you, I am secretly hoping she will be diagnosed with something to explain her behavior to learning (and life in general). It is terrifying to realize it is only a few short years before she will leave the safety of the primary school. My DD1 has just started yr7 and I can not even begin to understand how DD2 will be able to cope when her time comes.
DD2 is VERY funny, a very Laissez-faire attitude to life and can charm anyone within 100 miles of her, but she can barely read or write.
It breaks my heart that this is holding her back from being able to access the complete world around her.
Only advise I have for you is to continue to make a pain of your self at school, as I am doing although only 2 weeks in. Am sick of being told she is the youngest (late August) and will sort out in time. I can see her falling behind her peers every day purely due to her literacy skills, definitely not due to her intelect

Really interesting reading all these posts. My son is in yr5. Ever since he started yr2 I've thought there was some kind of problem with his reading and writing. He plateaus, especially in reading, but since yr 3 he has been making steady progress in reading and is now assessed as a 3a Just to give you hope

However his writing and spelling is assessed as a 2a. I am using the apples and pears spelling scheme which seems to be working well, as well as a private tutor once a week to help with his confidence more than anything.

Funnily enough, I sent a letter in to his new teacher today asking for a meeting to discuss his lack of progress in writing, so I'm glad that other posters are saying that it's not too soon in the year to ask for one!

I think there is a huge difference between what children can and can't read in yr 3 - some will be whipping through Harry Potter and some won't be. I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask for a meeting with her teacher so you can be reassured or ask for further help for her. Good luck!

£700???

Really interesting you say about the horse riding. My DD2 rides in Spain, and she took three lessons before she was cantering (much more ability led) She listens to instructions and follows her teachers lead so well. Unfortunately when we have tried her with lessons here, have been told because of her age she cannot be off the lead reign so quickly loses interest.
Riding school we use in Spain strongly believes in the affinity between the horses and kids. It's strange she is really calm and controlled around the stables but far less so in other areas of her life.
DH & I are convinced that later in life she will be far more successful in life than her very academic sister. DD2 is so much more sensitive around people, much funnier and generally more sociable. But that's OK in the long term, the problem is she has many years of schooling left before her talents might be truly appreciated (and her fortune gained!), while her sister is wallowing in academia, still trying to prove her self

2girls, I think you are doing the best possible thing to try and get this sorted out/improved now.

At school I was told I didn't listen, didn't concentrate, lacked attention to detail, didn't try hard enough, should be doing better, I even remember complaining that I couldn't read big dense blocks of text because the words moved and no one ever took any notice. I'm now in my late 20s and was assessed as having severe dyslexia last month. When I think back to how much I struggled I don't know whether I'm more upset or more angry that no one thought to give me some extra help.

Whether you're DD is dyslexic or just has a weakness in one area that is holding her back, it needn't be a problem, it just needs to be addressed in the best possible way.

Good Luck!

Oh, this thread is bringing a tear to my eye 2girls. My dd has just started Yr4 and is the same in so many ways as a lot of dc mentioned on this thread.

I have 'known' since year 2 that something is just not quite right with dd and reading. It's like she just can't do it. I long for the day that she can just subconcsiously (sp?) read. Just look at anything, and read it. It is all so hard for her at the moment, so she avoids it like the plague.

She said to me the other day 'I'm not good at anything am I mummy?' and last night whilst trying to read her book got extremely tearful and said she was worried that she won't ever be able to learn anything because she can't read about it. I worry about this too. How can she do maths if she can't read the questions? How can she learn history or geography if she can't read the facts? And I second the poster who worries about secondary school. My ds has just started this and whilst he is fine, I cannot begin to imagine how she will cope if reading is always a problem for her.

She is also stuck in the rut of low self esteem. See's her peers reading all sorts of books and wishing she could do the same.

I know how you feel. DD was however tested for dyslexia in Year 2 and I was told she wasn't. She doesn't have any of the other anecdotal things you mention OP but if it is not dyslexia, I want to know what is stopping her reading fluently.

I am having her tested at the Dyslexic Research Trust (contradiction to the above I know!) in October, but they also test for eye tracking problems and tbh I just want the opinion of professionals who deal with this sort of thing every day. School (new one since year 3) have been brilliant, doing lots of phonics daily etc - old school where she spent the whole of key stage 1 didn't do phonics, instead used the mixed method - arrrgh). But how come she still struggles with the word 'paint'?

I could go on OP. I am glad you are going to see the teacher, this thread is making me do the same for my dd. I really feel that Year 4 needs to sort it, and I need their help.

I know £700 is a lot - it's hard to know what everyone's personal financial situation is. For us it was £70 a month well spent for something that has had a huge impact on something that is a core life skill. It's up to you, but for me that would be an initial priority over and above horse riding for example. I'm not judging by the way, I know it's big amount and it may not even by the most useful thing for her, just that sometimes people are prepared to pay for an Ed Psych asessment that doesn't actually improve the situation, just labels it. Also sometimes you can reallocate resources/ priorities eg it's actually only £2 a day so if anyone spends that on takeaway coffee.... you see what I'm getting at.

Otherwise the Toe by Toe book is only £25 so maybe you could start with that - it should help on the reading front here

The other things you talk about, difficult balance, never crawling, walking late etc are also signifiers of various retained reflexes. Google it. But again, I'm afraid this is something you would have to pay for. We haven't done it with DD but she has done vision therapy exercises.

As for confirmation - you are definitely doing the right thing in asking at school, so don't be worried about that. But there do seem to be a lot of children who slip through the school 'net' so whatever they say, keep doing your own research and doing whatever you can at home, rather than relying on school to sort it out - you've done that so far and now you need to be proactive. There is a lot of free information out there that you can use (and a lot of knowledge in the Primary section on here). It's also great that you're reading more complex books to her. And touch typing etc might help at school.

Also wanted to say well done to anyone who is trying desperately to help their DC. It's very hard and a complete minefield - you almost feel as though you've done enough retraining yourself in order to work it all out! My desperation to help DD was what got me into MN in the first place, but it was a great place to get advice, feedback etc so keep going and for everyone.

why do these things have to be so expensive - her horse riding costs half compared to that £30 a month (which my mum actually pays at the moment) and she gets so much out of it, i really think its good for her confidence and wouldn't want her to have to sacrifice it. She has actually willingly dropped other activities so we can afford the horse riding so i am loathe to take that away from her.

I actually get a bit that these schemes cost to much, it pretty much rules out a whole lot of children from accessing the help. I wouldn't want to think of someone making a pile of money out of it - im sure thats not the case though.

2girls2dogs

I have DD toebytoe book she no longer needs if you want I can post it to you for free

Here is the website www.toe-by-toe.co.uk/

PM if you want it, it'll save you bout 30 quid

oh, thats so kind of you mad :) I am going to have the meeting with the school before i try any books, but id gladly buy it from you if i decide to give it a try. Thankyou xx

No its ok, its sitting gathering dust LOL, all DD was marked in pencil so easy to get rid of, it's the book the school uses so i bought it for the summer holidays to keep it in her head so to speak and on it dd has gone up 2 levels since Jan

I agree with you - I think EasyRead do discounts if it's done via school, but you have a valid point about it ruling out a lot of children who would benefit. They have one-to-one support on the phone and that personal support costs to keep maintained. Anyway, we digress! On to more helpful things...

I hope your school meeting goes well. Try and find out as much as you can before you go and write yourself some notes as it's easy to forget!

• have they assessed how far behind her reading is (you can also do this yourself by using the Burt Reading test. Again google can be your friend! Just bear in mind it's not an exact science, just a guide)

• I also found it helpful to take a photocopy of a page in her reading book so that while DD was reading I could keep track, eg words she read straight off got a tick, words she sounded out I noted, and words she read incorrectly I noted. That way I could spot recurring problems eg she always missed the 't' in st or couldn't do the 'br' blend. If you do this make sure you date it and keep it in a file - then you can see the changes over time

• ask what they plan on doing ie which system they use? how do they monitor progress? how swiftly do they expect to see an improvement?

I see you said she has had some early intervention: Do you feel this has helped? Do they? If not, why not? Is it being done regularly enough? If it is being done on a regular basis but not helping then you need to work out why.....

@betterwhenthesunshines

DD has had huge improvement with EasyRead system. (Disclaimer: I know I put this up here alot, but it took me along time to find out about it and a lot of research and it has really helped us, discount it if you wish, but if you never know it's there, then you can't know if it could work for you!)

It expensive, at £700, but an EP report is about £550 and often doesn't tell you more than what you already know.

What is the EasyRead System? I am currently looking for something to help DS as the school seem to be doing v little. He is getting so down and has told me he is stupid. I think he might be dyslexic but we are waiting on an assessment. I have posted on here asking about different reading programs but I have had a look at reading bears and toe by toe and I think he'll find them a bit dull. He's a real boys boy so I need to find something he will actually want to do. And then hopefully he will progress!

DS was clearly dyslexic by y1. The gaps between his strengths and difficulties were clear right from the begining. He was diagnosed at 8 later in y3, along with dyspraxia (and has since gained an ASD diagnosis)

He conplained that he couldn't read the board in y1 and had a regular eye test. The optician did note that he was tracking images from other lines (which is probably why he failed his pre-school screening).
In y2, his teacher tried coloured overlays and got an instant result with blue. I remember the look on her face as she told me that he just read it fluidly. He moved up two reading levels that day from 3 to 5. We got coloured glasses through the optician- unfortinately not an NHS service.

It frustating that the process of diagnosis and support is a lottery of funding. It is grossly unfair that spare money is often required to navigate the system.

DS is a book lover, but it has to be the right book. Read together. Take turns, audio books. Keep it light and interesting.
It was lovely when DS1 really registered that there were words around his environment, with meaning.