yes i do know what its like!!!

[msnaughty]

when i hear my friend moan about her grandad popping round her house and she says i do love him but you know when you just want to get on with things and you cant because he is here. he asked her to take him to the pound shop and she said no. he's 89 yrs old and got the bus to see her because he was lonely. she gos round his house once a week sometimes less.

i probably sound like a real bitch but i think you have a grandad, and both your parents. i looked after my dad night and day he moved in with me when he got cancer. i looked after him and my children completely on my own. for that 6 months my life revolved round my dad i would never change that i wanted to do the best i can for him. 'you know when you just want to get on with things' yes i do!!!

then i get oh you sound really stressed today. me: i do. in return i get oh i have really had one of them days bla bla.

YANBU.
I lost all my grandparents and the both parents at an early age.

I know what you mean.

Oh poor guy. Hope he has other family/friends looking out for him.

People cope with things differently. I hear people (here and in RL) winge about their parents being maybe a bit crap and sometimes it's hard to fight the urge to make a "at least you have parents" comment - but the reality is, if people want a winge about their parents being a bit crap, or the grandad getting in the way, then that's fair enough. It's life, isn't it? You unload the small, petty annoyances just as you unload the big stuff.

Does she know all the stuff about your dad?

she really does care about him. she loves him to bits. its just she gos on so mucha bout what she does for him. but when it comes down to it. its not overly that much. well i dont think so anyway. maybe im in bitch mood

I get what you mean, but everyone has different circumstances and lives and the baggage they carry with them, so while you know what it was/is like for you, you don't know what it is like for her.

I'm sorry you lost your dad.

hassled; yes i know thats true really im often have moans about my kids and things like that. i guess i take it as more than it is as its a bit close to home

yes she know the situation with my dad. she has 2 dad's her real dad and step dad. her real dad left when she was a teen. she once said to me its harder for her than for me as at least i know where my dad is. i did not bother to respond....

haze: yes i agree. i guess in my case she is ranting at the wrong person. i d feel a bit angry in some ways... i kind of think i don't have a dad or grandparents and your moaning to me about yours.

That was a shame. My first thought on reading the OP was that he's 89 so let's face it he won't be around much longer. He just wanted a ride to the Pound Shop. Perhaps the bus doesn't go there so he gets the bus to her place where he's made to feel unwelcome. How would she have felt in his shoes?

I'd have said something like, "I'll just finish this first. I like looking round Pound Shop."

Well she could have taken him-but perhaps he could have phoned up first & checked?

I mean it´s not up to her to keep him company & run him to places when he wants, is it?

Yes, he could have checked by telephone first but he wanted to get out so he did - by bus. It was just a ride to somewhere. I expect he just caught a bus to return home.

"I expect he just caught a bus to return home. "

So there´s no problem really, is there?

He asked on the offchance when he got there, didn´t happen.

OP-I think you are projecting too much.

You completely lived for your dad-your choice.

She isn´t living for her GD-her choice.

Sounds as if she sees him most weeks & he pops to her when he wants.

It´s perhaps just that that annoys & if there was an arrangement in place it might annoy less.

He might not care if she got on with things-just wants to be where there is someone else.