Would people drive you out?

[uptherear]

Five years ago we moved 200 miles for my dh job and also because the area is lovely and has good schools etc.

However time and time again we feel urged to move back. My dh no longer works in the same job and actually works in a different area, we could move closer to his work. However as the dc are at school we are loathed to move around too much and so have stayed.

The area is lovely, quite remote but very beautiful with low crime rates and feels very safe to bring kids up here.

However the people are bloody hard work. They are either related or go back years or are a bit mental and wacky. There just seems to be a major shortage of regular everyday people. I find them mostly unfriendly and judgey. In my 5 years here I have made 3 friends.

At least once a week something happens here with people that makes me think 'get me out of here'

Is it unreasonable to leave an area and house you love just because the people are hard work? I wish it didnt affect me so much but i find it constantly wearing.

So aibu considering a house/area move because of the people?

OP I could have written that post too but a couple of years ago.

We moved 14 years ago in to a village where everyone has either lived there all their lives or has married someone from their school. I work locally now and DH used to work locally but changed jobs and now works closet to where we moved from.

It's only in the last year that I feel that we have turned the corner and the locals have actually started to include us or even speak in friendly terms. This is despite our 3 kids going to local schools and speaking like a local.

We get invited to parties, included in get togethers and talked to. It's me more than DH and I put it down to working locally and seeing people frequently. It's been hard work but we have got there and there have been many times I have felt like moving back.

Just move if you want to - kids adapt to new schools. Unless you think you are going to be there forever you might as well get it over with sooner rather than later.

I moved a lot when I was a child and although it had it's down sides it's made me very confident in moving to new places as an adult. I have friends all over the place as well.

Your children will get far more out of life if you are happy and have a social life, and happily mix with other families. If its that bad, they'll probably leave at the first opportunity anyway. If you plan to stay in Scotland, try some area which attracts outsiders for industry, as it'll be far less insular.

So apart from the good schools and decent quality of life (which you can get elsewhere) what keeps you there?

alien I'll give you north suffolk for a south norfolk!
Actually, no I won't, they drive really badly over the border!

No I don't think it unreasonable to leave because people are hard work. It makes it hard to settle and five years is a fair go.

Though do think you've done well with 3 friends. I have may people who I know and come up for a quick chat but I haven't really got close enough to say they are proper friends and thats after 5 years.

Its one of many reasons that we are planning to move on - I live somewhere similarly insular.

We realized about four years into this here, twice as long as last location, we were still thinking of it as temporary because it was so hard to settle and the reason for that was the people.

We had more proper friends and friend/aqunatancs two years in last location than we have after 5 here.

Start having a look were you'd move to - it might well be just as good in terms of scenery and schools plus have other attractions.

i grew up rurally. I have moved around a lot and lived in lots of different places

I acknowledged some time ago, that for me it is ALL about the people. I have lived in beautiful places and been unhappy because there arent enough like minded people

I now live in what is classed as a deprived area, it is aesthetically displeasing but Im as happy as a pig in shit, because the attitude of most is liberal, its diverse and there is a sense of community and accepting everyones differences

You have to determine what is important to you; people or place? only you know the answer

Same here OP. I moved to a large city in the north east of Scotland, partly for work, partly for the scenery. Bear in mind its a large city - I have perhaps one friend, not that close, that I have made who is from the city itself. Most of the rest of the friends I've made are English.

So I'm not too bad for friends, but my problem is that the people are so rude. Its a well known trait of the people from this city in fact - if you google it on the internet, loads of threads come up.

I actually got sworn at by a shopkeeper, under his breath, the other day, for not knowing the exact specifications of item I was interested in. This is not uncommon. If you ask me, theres an unnaturally high number of sociopaths in this place - I've driven safely all over Europe with never a problem, yet in this damned place, if I get through a week without aggressive beeping at me, never mind the throat slitting gestures and gunshots to the head of some drivers who you irritate by having the temerity to be on the same road as them, its a triumph. You get grown men "boy racers" here - literally racing their cars up and down the main roads, and the police do nothing.

So I've made the decision to move next year, when my house extension is finished. True, the scenery is great, but the weather is so vicious, you can hardly enjoy being outdoors, and the people are just so badly behaved. It must be upbringing - I guess if you bring up your children the same way as yourself, they end up the same way too. Did I mention the constant boasting about money and how much they paid for things? Or the encouraging of female children to stay at home, not get an education and get married as if its the 1900s?

In studies of happiness, etc, friends score very highly. And imagine if your children became like the people where you currently live, due to growing up there! There are plenty of places with nice countryside, I would say move while you still can!