borrowing ds birthday money

[fryingpantoface]

Ok flame proof suit donned

Money is really tight this month. Dh had a role change at work a few months ago and therefore hasn't got a bonus this month and next. This means this month he got paid less than he has ever got since university. We've cut down as much as possibly this month but we've got 2 weeks until Payday and £25 to get food.

Ds turns one tomorrow and I know he's getting at least £50 (been told by various relatives) wibu to use this money for food shopping etc? Would definately pay this back with dhs bonus in Oct (will be getting a large amount). Dh thinks we'll be being unreasonable to use it, even though he'll be getting it back. I think that we need to eat and that a 1 year old doesn't know what's happening.

Aibu and has anyone else done this? I'm feeling awful that I'm even thinking about it.

Of course YANBU.

You could always get him to choose a £5 teddy/toy in Tesco when you do the food shop to feel like he isn't missing out on his bday treat? He won't know or care obv, he's 1!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP YANBU

but the people who say they borrow their kid's money to get take-aways are joking surely - unless they literally mean borrow because they can't be bothered to walk to the cash machine and the children have hard cash to hand. Even so, aren't you embarassed that your children have more sense with money than you have?

yanbu, borrow the money.

I have done that Dominodonkey, but now i have discovered justeat.co.uk there is no need. (the money has been repaid the next day)

mchappypants Thanks! As someone who borrows out of her own birthday money for the same reason that is a useful bit of advice.

Borrow as in use it to pay as they don't take cards and I rarely have more than a tenner in my purse!

His savings tin has paid for many a Chinese as yellow

MrsK that made me howl with laughter

YANBU OP, we've done this when the kids were babies and always paid it back.

Not unreasonable. I do this. Even to pay for takeaways sometimes. Now that dd is older I have to ask her first, but she never says no. As long as I pay it back.

My DD is 10 weeks and we owe her £80 already! We will pay it back and I'm pretty certain she doesn't mind, all she's interested in is my boobs

Borrow it, you need to eat, pay it back. Sorted. If DH still feels it's UR ask him to magic up some food for DC, "'cos the cupboard is bare" in the nicest possible way, of course. If you think it would make it easier for DH, talk about the interest rate DC is charging...

I agree that if you need to eat and you know you can pay it all back as soon as possible you should use the money and not feel bad about it. You could chuck in an extra quid as a thank you :)

your dc needs happy parents who aren't stressed out much more than he needs £50 . What use is money to a baby ? they don't need plastic junk either , a trip to the park would give him just as much, if not more pleasure. I would spend it !

We have one of those accounts where the balance offsets the mortgage interest.

All the boys' birthday money is in it! We keep track of who should have what, we pay them yearly compound interest on it (DH has lots of spreadsheets) and if for some reason they wanted to spend any (6 & 4 at moment so they don't seem to want to shop much) we would buy whatever they were after and drop the running total.

Your child is 1 - he needs food (and fed parents!) more than a few crunchy pieces of paper in a money box!

YANBU

Sorry to hear you're struggling (and stressing) but there really is no need.

Money given by people for new babies, birthdays, Easter, Christmas and so on is always lovely. I genuinely think that most people that give money couldn't give two hoots what it is spent on as long as baby/child is looked after and loved.

When you have children, they cost money on a daily basis - toddler group donation or fees, treat in the supermarket, specific baby food or formula, trip to the park perhaps an ice cream or fruit shoot, swimming, tea and cake with another mum and baby, fuel for car to visit people etc

These things are not a specific gift or toy but are specific to having children (you wouldn't necessarily buy or do these things if you didn't have children) and socialising them into a society that makes them happy about being with other people and children.

Like another poster said, both my nans have always given (quite generous) amounts of money on occasions and are very much "spend as you need to bring up baby Godisadj"- bills food or gifts, whatever, they're not fussed as along as I'm happy and baby is looked after.

It might be different to how some people do it, but any money given goes in our account and DD gets what she needs, when she needs it. I keep a rough talley of what was given on her birthday but all in all she has plenty of clothes and plenty of toys - I don't need to buy her anything else for the sake of it just because she has some money to spend.

Going against the grain here, I wouldn't worry about replacing it in a month or two, that's just my relaxed view on it.

YANBU. Your DS will have no idea and you are going to pay it back, so what's the harm.

When I was growing up money was really tight and my Mum would often need to owe me my pocket money, or to borrow what I'd already been given, and it never did me any harm. I was old enough to understand the reasons and have no negative memories of it.

Oh we do this all the time and at times they go "keep it Mum.You do not have to pay me back." They know they get what they need when they need it and it is not as though you borrowing it for a luxury -it is food!!

Oh God, I've done it loads. My nana and aunt give me money for dds but on the proviso that its to be used how I see fit like if I've spent a lot on uniforms, shoes etc one month then I keep it to balance things up if that makes sense.

Oh for goodness sake don't worry

It if makes you feel better it was my ds' birthday yesterday he was 13, he had quite a lot of money and I borrowed 20 quid because I didn't have time to go the ATM and needed to take younger ds to the hairdressers.

Only difference I got told off by him, I doubt you will

I've replaced it now too.

Of course you should use your 1 year olds money for food if you can't afford food otherwise. Taking it it for luxuries would be different.

You don't even have to give it back either if you never get the opportunity.