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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send my dd in to school with a name badge.

57 replies

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 10/09/2012 18:11

her new teacher keeps getting her mixed up with another girl, easily done. They both have long brown hair.

DD last week was getting a bit irked by this, but I reasured her it was O.K as she has only been there are week and its understandable.

However today this resulted in my dd being refused firstly to go to the toilet "as you have already been", the other girl had already been and refused to get a drink of water as "you have already had 2" the other girl had already had 2. And on pointing out the mix up of identity my dd was told It doesnt matter who you are I said "no"

Shall i send her in with a name tag tomorrow?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 10/09/2012 18:43

ha ha Grin

OP posts:
beachyhead · 10/09/2012 18:44

Write her name on her foreheadWink

beamme · 10/09/2012 18:45

We have identical twins in school and they are very hard to tell apart and get mixed up constantly. Their mum now sends them in named headbands, which is great for new staff

CailinDana · 10/09/2012 18:47

As a primary teacher I would say getting children mixed up is a normal thing but it is very rude and inconsiderate of a teacher not to be apologetic about it and to not rectify her mistake. Mixing children up really annoys them because it makes them feel invisible and the fact that the teacher isn't admitting her mistake and trying to rectify it shows a lack of basic understanding on her part. I used to mix two girls up in one of my classes and I said sorry every time it happened. It was just a total mental block for me and became a bit of a joke by the end of the term. I got there in the end!

As for refusing toilet breaks, especially due to the mix up, not on.

I would have a stern word with the teacher if I were you. Ask her to seat the girls at opposite ends of the room to help differentiate them.

McHappyPants2012 · 10/09/2012 18:48

perhaps do a Will Smith from the fresh prince of bellair and turn her cardigan inside out :)

Hassled · 10/09/2012 18:48

Just go and talk to the teacher. Get there early tomorrow and have a polite word - that you realise she looks very like X and appreciate how easy it is to mix them up but that it's led to water/loo/whatever confusion, subsequent distress and please can the teacher be aware. The teacher needs to get his/her act together.

amck5700 · 10/09/2012 18:50

What did the chinese parents of quads do then?

Original poster
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 10/09/2012 18:53

you sound very thoughfull CailinDana, I think you are right it is not the issue of the mix up alone, that is forgivable and normal but the lack of concern and respect once dd was bold enough to point it.

maybe I will have a word tommorow then.

OP posts:
jimswifein1964 · 10/09/2012 18:56

They shaved numbers into their haircuts, to tell them apart!

jimswifein1964 · 10/09/2012 18:56

oops, too slow typing Grin

Sparklingbrook · 10/09/2012 18:56

Shaved heads and sleeping on desks. Shock

cupcake78 · 10/09/2012 18:57

Straight to the teacher to ask what happened.

CailinDana · 10/09/2012 19:01

:) Troll.

I wouldn't be surprised if you don't get a great reception from the teacher. She sounds like the type of teacher who has to be right no matter what and who sees any correction from her students as disrespect, even if the correction is warranted. That kind of teacher usually isn't very receptive to criticism from parents either. A softly softly approach is advisable I think.

ivykaty44 · 10/09/2012 19:06

As a mother of a child who has just spent a week in hospital with a dd who had a suspected appendicitis that turned out to be a a very nasty urinary infection, I would be extremely unhappy with a teacher refusing access to the toilet and water to drink

I wrote a niceish letter to the HT and G stating that if my dd2 got another UTI I would be taking it up with the school and health authority on their policy of no toilet breaks and if a child had to go then they got a bad mark on the board. The rules were changed over night and instead of a bad mark being placed on the board no punishment was given for toilet breaks.

It may be difficult if you have lots of children wanting the loo but you can't make children ill by the rules

amck5700 · 10/09/2012 19:07

Awww thanks everyone - what a shame for those wee boys.......at least I hope they are boys!!!!

Original poster
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 10/09/2012 19:07

oh those poor children Sad they are not even shaved very well.

OP posts:
CailinDana · 10/09/2012 19:11

I can't understand the "no toilet breaks" rule some schools have. I always found it very easy to tell if a child was taking the piss (no pun intended) and I never had any problem with allowing children out to the toilet. I think I said no perhaps twice or three times in 5 years. If a school is so worried about discipline that it has such a crazy rule then the school really needs to do something more sensible, fast. Denying children access to the toilet is really cruel IMO.

I did teach temporarily in one school that had this rule, but I quietly refused to follow it. I didn't say anything but a child was stopped in the corridor on his way to the toilet and he subsequently wet himself while he was being interrogated. That sort of made my argument for me really!

SchrodingersMew · 10/09/2012 19:21

I remember in primary school there was a teacher that really did hate me for some reason and she would flat out refuse to let me go to the toilet no matter how bad I needed.

I read in Sugar or something about it being a basic human right and that it can cause kidney failure if you got a really bad infection from not going and one day said teacher made me stand up and wait at the board for most of the class because I had asked to go to the toilet. :( I eventually said all the stuff from the magazine and said if she said no I would get her put in jail for child cruelty. :o (I was about 9) and she let me go then and everytime after!

LindyHemming · 10/09/2012 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lovebunny · 10/09/2012 19:23

the toilet thing needs taking up with the teacher, even if you don't really want to make a fuss.

clam · 10/09/2012 19:37

I allow my class to go to the loo within general working time whenever they need to (loos in classroom area), as long as they don't hang around in a queue or muck about (they don't). Ditto water bottles at the sink area. However, when I'm actually teaching or explaining something, I expect them to wait (they're 8/9). Those whose parents have had a word about any particular medical need to go urgently or suddenly, know that they can nip off even during those times. No one abuses this scheme.

I really think you should have a quiet word. Tomorrow. If the teacher has any shame conscience, she'll feel embarrassed that her draconian way of speaking to children has been clocked and she might think twice next time.

crazygracieuk · 10/09/2012 19:40

This happened to my dd. The other girl was actually a twin (her twin was in the other class) and they loved it when they were mistaken for sisters.

I would talk to the teacher and tell dd to speak up when she has been mistaken for the other girl.

catwoo · 10/09/2012 19:55

Bit of a hijack but one of my DDs at primary school was a
always getting called by her younger sisters name (by a teacher who had never even taught her sister). When she said tio the teacher ' I am x' she used to get told off for being cheeky!!

kim147 · 10/09/2012 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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