to be scared about how I am going to manage when I go back to work

[watermargin]

It's a while off, as DD is very young but please help me out here as it's spoiling my maternity leave and it's making me cry, I am silly.

I am a single parent and I don't have any family to help me out. I have managed to get a full year off work (savings, and so on) and go back next May when DD will be eleven months.

Then I will work until mid July (teacher.) My dad has said he will stay with me for six weeks to cover that period and DD will go into full time childcare from september, when she will be 14 months.

my dad lives abroad so while he's able to help on that one period he can't help on a day to day basis and I have read another thread about how hard it is working 2 days p/w even and that's with a partner and now I'm feeling myself starting to panic as to how I'm going to manage at all, I don't feel great about it all and just want to know, am I kidding myself thinking I can juggle both?

Or should I just - I don't know, I suppose I'll have to cope won't I!?

Help!

you're not being silly by thinking ahead. However, it is managable to work and have children. Difficult at times but manageable !
Try and relax and enjoy the time you have at home with your little one.
Make good plans for solid, reliable childcare and you are halfway there.

Oh bollocks is it hard working 2 days when you've got a partner!

You'll be fine - it won't be easy, but at least at this age you'll be able to pop her in to bed at 6:30 and just 'breathe'.

Organisation is key - on the plus side you won't have a whole lot of tidying up to do during the week as her powers of destruction will be limited on a day-to-day basis!

Do you think so? I hope so! I have chosen the nursery already, it is lovely - she'll eat there. I just got all panicky reading the other thread! Thank you :)

I think its also probably about your emotional connection with your child, which you obviously have. I felt like that when my son went to nursery for 3 mornings a week when he was 2. IMO, at about a year old your child is very attached to you, and its painful, the separation I mean.

In an ideal world you could stay with her. But if that is not to be, just remember it is part-time, you will be with her alot, and you obviously love her greatly to have such feelings about the coming separation, which is fantastic.

x

It's not part time!

please do not panic because you will work it out and it will work. It's not always going to be easy and some days will be hard but it will be okay

I am a single parent with 3 children - I work 3 days a week and it's not massively hard you just have to be organised

I am a single parent to 1, I work full time, we leave the house at 07:00 and get home at 19:00, this has been the way of life since my boy was 6 months old. It's hard work but manageable, I got him into a great nursery which he attended till he was 4yrs old then switched to a childminder for before and after school. Although its a long day for both of us, my son hadn't known any different and needs must to get the bills paid. You'll be fine, don't let it spoil your maternity leave, enjoy it!

Just to reassure- you will be fine!! Full time has it's advantages. You will miss your child but there's a good chance you can get most of your other work done during nursery hours leaving you to just concentrate on your DD when you're at home. And if you don't have to cook when you get in then evenings won't be too stressful either. Drop offs are probably the hardest bit and where you'll need to be organised but once you've done it for a few weeks it'll be routine. It's a learnig curve but you'll get there

Oh my goodness of course it's possible.
There of thousands of LP's managing full-time and lots of children.

You are feeling fragile because she is so small and it just doesn't seem possible at the moment.

I was a LP with my DS and had to go back to work when he was 9 weeks (not in uk). I had a child minder as I also have very little family help.

It was hard but the good (and bad) thing about kids is that don't stay small for long.

Try not to worry or second guess how you are going to feel next May, it's still a long way off.

She will be fine and positively thrive. You're a teacher so will be familiar with the studies about little girls benefiting from having working mothers?

It's hard, I know X

I worked FT teaching from when my ds1 was just 6 months old. That was our financial position at the time. He went to a lovely nursery. He went in as doors opened at 7.30 this was in 2005 and I went off round the corner to school. I taught all day and left at 5 to pick up and get home for a bit of time before bed. When at home with him I made sure I didn't do housework or school work we just had some time. Dinner and schoolwork after that. I loved the weekends you will find a routine that suits you and you will both be fine. Good luck.

It's is difficult to imagine that some one else could care deeply and properly for your child. But if you find the right childcare, then half your battle is won.

I think the rest of it is down to being organised and planning etc. Other people have done it! No reason why someone like you who is putting thought and effort into going back to work, should not be more than capable of doing it!

I think that if you find a really good nursery you will be fine, and so will your DD. Mine both went to nursery full time at under 6 months old (because I only got 18 weeks paid maternity, that was back then...) and DH also worked full time. The first few weeks were horrible, lots of tears (mostly from me) but DD1 settled in miraculously well, as did DD2 2 years later.

They are now 9 and 11 and you could not want two more confident, loving, happy and high-achieving children. Being organised is key - things like getting stuff ready the night before, cooking ahead and freezing on weekends, planning laundry. Dropping standards in housework is also helpful - you do not need House Beautiful, you need House Comfortable.

You will adapt your life around your DD. You will be totally there for her during the time that you are with her at home, and you will both thrive. Have faith in yourself, you sound like a great mum.

You will be fine! As others have said, it is question of organisation. The thought of it will be far worse than the reality.

Sorry Watermargin, I did not realise it wasn't part-time. Either way, what I am trying to say is that your emotions and fears are not unreasonable, they are completely understandable, they are primal, to do with separation. I was a single parent, experienced them too and I felt no-one understood them.

OTOH, I know we all have to deal with reality, however it presents itself to us (and find the best deal, the best compromise we can).

However, your deep feeling shows your love, and if that is transmitted to your child over the years, that is the most important thing in my opinion.

x

Youre very lucky to be able to afford a whole year off- dont spoil it by worrying about how you'll cope.

You just will, because that's what happens. It's the same going from one to two children. I never thought I'd get out of the house before lunchtime with dc2 , but within 6 months I was back at work, doing the drop off by 7.45. Get organised and have a routine that works for you, morning and evening. You also have the advantage of a 'dry run' when your father is childminding, so you can develop some good systems then so that after the next summer hols you'll be flying.

Honestly we all worry about how we'll cope, but you will, and then you'll be impressed with your own management skills. Anyway, schools are only just going back after the summer now, so look at it this way, you have a whole YEAR until you're having to do the nursery routine anyway. Enjoy the time off, you'll be fine

I'm a teacher too - 2nd week back for me and, although I have DP so I'm not alone, it's hard but doable.

I'm doing 4 days, is that an option? To be honest by the time I factored child care and tax I'm not that much worse off financially and I get a day to spend with DS and to catch up with the house etc.

I used my mat leave to get organised so that the house etc takes as little as possible maintenance - massive de-clutter, ours and DS' clothes, room etc organised to within an inch of their lives, lots of meals cooked and frozen, online shop set up, ironing all done so all I have to do is keep on top of it...

Could you use this time to set up some support too? Go to groups and try to make some friends (so hard in real life, I know x ) so you've someone to call on in emergencies?

I'm also trying to use my time at work more effectively - lots of peer marking, photocopying done in advance and the hardest - working through break time instead of going for a quick gossip to minimise the work I take home.

Good luck - you can do it!

It will be fine, it really will. And it's a long way off - your child will be so much more sociable at 14 Months and will really benefit from being with other children and other adults.

thank you! think I just got mildly hysterical! lol. x