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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is just wrong?

22 replies

DefiniteMaybe · 09/09/2012 10:13

I was chatting to my mil yesterday about my ds starting school tomorrow, later than all the other schools in the area. She mentioned that her other grandson was supposed to be back last week but won't start until tomorrow as his mum hadn't bought his uniform yet.
Apparently she can't afford to buy any. But she bought a puppy last week.
I am still shocked that someone would prioritise a puppy over a uniform. Its not even his first year so surely could have some bits left from last year. Mil can't see anything wrong with him missing the first week. AIBU to think this is just really wrong?

OP posts:
BollocksToKarma · 09/09/2012 10:17

YANBU.

LetMeTellYouSomethingMrs · 09/09/2012 10:19

YANBU.

JeezyOrangePips · 09/09/2012 10:21

I thought that they couldn't insist on school uniform for primary children? (no school uniforms here at all, so I don't really know)

YANBU, but I think missing the first week won't cause any real issues with his education. I'd be very concerned by the mothers attitude though - very odd.

RosesAreBetter · 09/09/2012 10:23

Surely the school would have contacted her to see why he didn't attend.
Too keep a child off school because he doesn't have a uniform is UR

But regardless it really isnt any of your buisness is it.

NCForNow · 09/09/2012 10:23

Yanbu. Charity shops have plenty on offer. Seems very neglectful to me!

ll31 · 09/09/2012 10:24

cant understsnd his mothers attitude,yanbu,doesn't sound as if child will have much support in education

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 09/09/2012 10:25

No supermarket near by? 3 polos for a fiver and trousers at £2 a pair.

the mother won't say it's a uniform issue - she will make up a ficticious complaint to keep the EWO off her back.

trumpeter · 09/09/2012 10:43

MIL sounds like a right busybody. She might not have her facts straight, or is embellishing the truth possibly. Also, maybe the puppy was from a shelter and therefore free?

sooperdooper · 09/09/2012 10:46

I would wonder whether MIL has the full story tbh, sounds very odd

degutastic · 09/09/2012 10:48

Also, maybe the puppy was from a shelter and therefore free?

If she can't afford a uniform (as others say, basics are very cheap from a supermarket and would suffice for a few days if more expensive extras are necessary), she cannot afford to feed, vaccinate, castrate or look after a dog, and no shelter would allow an animal to be taken on in such circumstances.

YANBU OP Sad

trumpeter · 09/09/2012 11:00

Our rescue dog was vaccinated and castrated for free.

Original poster
DefiniteMaybe · 09/09/2012 11:05

Its a weird family set up anyway. Mil does have all the facts shes with them almost all the time. The puppy came from the same breeder that mine did last year so around £80 for it.
The supermarkets and clothes shops all have shirt, trousers and jumper uniform for £10, at least 4shops within walking distance.
I know its not really my business but its one thing in a long line of sort of neglectful, selfish parenting.
He had a minor op at the beginning of july. Recovering from that is the excuse to school but mil said he's been fine for weeks.

OP posts:
trumpeter · 09/09/2012 11:07

But don't you question why she is telling you this? Sounds a bit wooden spoon to me.

TodaysAGoodDayForTeamGB · 09/09/2012 11:10

Definately YANBU. That's a pathetic excuse, I'm sure some of his things would have fitted from last year, children don't grow that much in 6 weeks, not enough to have NO school uniform that fits anyway. I am just Shock

degutastic · 09/09/2012 11:12

Our rescue dog was vaccinated and castrated for free.

Adult dogs tend to be vacc'ed/castrated before rehoming, but I presumed (though in fairness the OP didn't specify) a young puppy, which obviously couldn't be castrated and is unlikely to be fully vaccinated. Regardless, if the owner cannot shell out a tenner for uniform, they cannot afford dog food, standard dog outlays (collar, lead, tags, etc) or unexpected vets bills.

Original poster
DefiniteMaybe · 09/09/2012 11:12

Wooden spoon is exactly right. Mil has 4 grown up children and stirs between the lot of them all the time.

OP posts:
getmeoutofthismadhouse · 09/09/2012 11:12

uniform comes into supermarkets mid June (ish) so she has had 10 weeks + to get a uniform about £10 for 1 set surely the pup ate that amount of food last week!!!

I went to Sainsburys on friday and I got my son 2 jumpers for £1 for the pair , and a pack of 2 trousers for £2 and my DD a pack of 2 trousers for £2. so a fiver for £28 of uniform . She needs to get the uniform before places sell out !!

Kayano · 09/09/2012 11:14

Some parents will do anything to make their kids and themselves smile over what they need and should be doing.

It's irresponsible and pathetic

ENormaSnob · 09/09/2012 11:17

Yanbu

WithoutCaution · 09/09/2012 12:40

Rescue puppies/dogs (at least in the UK) are not free to adopt. They are usually around £100

Have to say that if they can't afford a school uniform then they certainly can't afford a puppy

LouMacca · 09/09/2012 12:46

YANBU. A girl in DDs class didn't have a PE kit or PE bag for the first month of school last year because the Mum said they couldn't afford one on top of the cost of the uniform. She told us this while showing us the new star tattoo on her ankle Hmm

lljkk · 09/09/2012 13:04

Shock yanbu. Just Shock Shock

Possible puppy costs aside, there are usually grants to help with cost of uniform.

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