To be mortified and what do I say now?

[Ragdollkitten]

To cut a long story short-I was on here the other night night.My thread was about my difficult father and my violent dh who had attacked me.
The post was moved to relationships.
I live on the outskirts of London no friends family (know 1 or 2 mums to say hi in the street and a sil).
Anyway h attacked me I was badly bruised and had nurse apt and she asked 'is h violent' and I told her everything.
Now SS has to be involved.He is at his parents(300 miles away).
His sister and her husband bumped in to me the other day(just as I was rushing off the the nurse)and I was bruised and hadn't slept.
They insisted to see me as its my anniversary and birthday and have a present.
Anyway they are meant to come round tomorrow but my boys have completely messed the house,its a pig sty.The only positive thing about my h is that on weekends he would do some tidying.
My sil and her husband(twice her age so long retired)are so so wealthy talking to them about an anything is like talking to aliens.
Anyway last night after getting dc to bed I opened bottle of wine and sent around 8 text messages to sil.The shame.The messages are rambling and drunk type messages.I said that they cannot come round and that theres violence in my life.I feel so ashamed.My phone has run out and I really feel like going throug sunday with no phone and not dealing with any responce from sil(fwiw we're are not close-she can be very nasty and she rolls her eyes at you etc its her h who likes the whole 'lets meet up' charade)
Today I have to get ds1s hair cut,buy new shoes sort uniforms etc.I should never have planned the idea for them to come around first thing in the morning as it would mean said things wouldn't get done plus have to panic tidy etc.
But now I've sent 'crazed' messages to sil what the hell do I do/say now??
I'm mortified.If me and sil were close it would be different but we're not.

Sorry for bad spelling etc

Go to a pay phone, call, apologuise for drunken text messages and say you don't feel like visiting or celebrating anything.
To be fair, you did know they were coming and could have either cancelled it or tidied up last night.

Did she answer any of your texts last night?

if you don;t answer your mobile today, depending on how maudlin you were last night, she will probably phone the land line to check you are ok.

All you can do is say you apologise for dumping your woes on her, you were very upset and crying (omit the drink) and couldn't see clearly to text properly. That you aren;t up to seeing anyone today, your head is a lot clearer and you want to get the housework out of the way because you have things to do next week with regard to moving forward with your life.

I dare say she will phone her mother first, to get your DHs side of the story.

Don't admit to drunk texting, you don't need that feeding back if there could be any sort of residency case in the future. Never give any ammunition to the other side.

If she's likely to just drop round unannounced, because you're texts were of a 'life isn't worth living' nature - make sure you hide the bottles because you do not want it feeding back that you're sitting in alone getting pissed in charge of a child.

Hope you are feeling a bit better this morning, we all do stupid things sometimes. Just make sure you do some damage limitation

Thankyou for the replies
I offered to meet them in Costa which is halfway between our homes and that would have suited me much better..
You're completely right iscream and after giving the boys their dinners and baths last night I had the intention of cleaning tidying etc but feel asleep early as haven't slept for 2 days.Woke up couple of hours ago-house a mess and discover through extreme tiredness and wine I've sent rambling messages.I wasn't extremely drunk just so tired that I wish I'd never bumped into them.

JumpingThroughMoreHoops

I wish I had someone like you to talk at to and to help me through 'things'.

RagDollKitten

Hoops gave really good advice.

She didn't answer the messages.I feel so so stupid.
To be honest my ds1 has rugby training why oh why didn't I text saying 'oops sorry sil but ds1 has rugby can we leave it'?
Rule-hoops did give great advice!

Might message her to apologise for random messages and that was extremely down etc.
Still ashamed.We're not close at all.She's not warm,chartty or easy to talk to.
She would ben the last person that I would ever confide in so it seems like a nightmare.

Don't be disheartened Ragdoll

I know she's your SIL but she might come up trumps. We never know what people are really like inside.

Thanks Rule!I just cannot even look at my phone it's like reading messages that a crazed person wrote!I would never write things like that to anyone.

I wouldn't apologise or explain yourself. You are going through a pretty awful time and need to be kind to yourself. Stop thinking how embarrassed you are, that kind of negative thinking will only spiral. Turn to someone else if you need to talk but try and focus on the positives.

Domedon-thankyou for so much
I actually messaged her half an hour ago apologising for telling her my worries and and that I wished so much that I hadn't sent them in the 1st place.
Haven't heard anything back from her.

She sounds a complete and utter cow. Could she see you were bruised? Were you clearly distressed?

I would not be sending her any messages at all if she doesn't reply and reply favourably.

Is she your ex's sister? Was she close to him?

Don't waste any more time on her. In fairness it is her brother that is casuing you grief and that must be hard to bear. Move your focus onto you, DC, your life

dont be embarrased her DB (im assuming) has caused you no end or hurtyb and stress, if she canot recognise that accept that then she is not at all worth spending time with.

However on the other hand she may prove to be of support to you.

If i where in your shoes, I would make a phone call to her a little late when the boys are in bed and explain the full situation to her in a sober way and just leave it as that, if she choses to be helpfull accept a supportive stance from her, if not just ignore andy future social stuations with her.

a little later. not late

Did she get back to you OP??
We've all done it, but it sounds like you had more reason than most to be upset

I don't think you should be embarrassed at all. The fact she hasn't replied is not good. She clearly is not interested in helping you.

I hope you are okay.

Ragdoll, you won't be the first or the last to send embarrassing drunken text messages, many of us have done it. Don't be too harsh on yourself x

Op, I've done a very similar thing only I done my announcement mortal drunk at a family party. I was and still am mortified as I'm a very private person and now I feel I look like a moron 2 years later. I'm sure they don't even give it a second thought and I try to remember the embarrassing things that they have done and no doubt wish the ground would open up and swallow them, we've all done something we wished we hadn't.

However after that things totally changed for the better, the has been no dv since then so it I suppose it was a good thing in a round about way.

I hope you get some support.

Don't forget she lived with her brother for her childhood. She probably knows he is violent. It may have brought things up for her...

Buzz her when you can and just say 'please ignore previous texts, I was so shattered last night as I haven't slept well for a few days' Then change the subject