To wonder why....

[Inneedofbrandy]

Women justify leaving their partner with oh he's controlling or oh he called me a bad name.

I do not mean real abusive relationships. I do not mean refuge escaping freedom program type of things.

I just don't understand why we can't just say I don't like him any more I'm bored ive fallen out of love. I'm not digging or havin a go but just because dh forgets to take the bin out on Tuesday's does not mean he's abusive.

I do understand when you don't like someone, anyone, that every little thing they do will bug you, I do feel its re- writing history so your the good one and he's the baddy just to justify yourself breaking up the family.

Why do we do this though? Is Monogamy over rated, if we weren't so hung up on having a perfect family whether that's a dh2 or 3 we might all get along better and not hurt each other so much breaking up.

People are demonised if they leave for 'no good reason'. Sometimes, people simply fall out of love. Or the meet someone else. It's part of life.

well yes of course you are only hearing one side do you always need to hear both sides. i have also seen on here too many times when the story unfolds the op is in an abusive relationship they are jsut so confused and caught up in it they can not see it, that is why they come on here to try and make sense it it all

mn can be great for support for women in these situations

Totally agree, Freudians. Helping women to recognise that their abusive situation is not normal is one of the great things about MN support.

It's odd on the internet, people who are clearly in a terribly abusive relationship, can often not really see this, it's very helpful to have this pointed out to them (often repeatedly) eventually it will sink in.

On the other hand, abuse and disorder are often very over used, for minor arguments and disagreements etc. Someone who goes out and gets pissed is automatically an alcoholic, people who are selfish twats are usually autistic or narcissistic and other internet diagnoses.

There are always 2 sides to a story, I often think on Mn, especially in the relationship section, people are not allowed normal imperfections or to argue, it's all labelled and gender politicised.

Believe me I have a thread atm basically slagging off poor dp, he is a twat and sometimes I really want to leave him, but this is my view, he could post some horrific shite about me.

Actually he is not a twat, I'm being harsh, he is just a manchild.

I do want to leave him but obviously having 3 children complicates matters.

I am bored, I have fallen out of love, I'm not sure I was ever in love. However the children issue still stands, it was my choice to have the children with him, there is no easy way to swan off with said children without devasting another human being, not easy in the slightest.

Because we live in a disposable society. No one can be bothered to make a relationship work. It's easier to bin it rather than put some effort in.

There is an awful lot of overuse of words on this forum, far too much self diagnosis as well.

How would you know whether someone else's relationship is abusive?