Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if I'm paying him...

21 replies

AngelRain · 08/09/2012 18:19

the consultant I saw this morning:

should not have kept me waiting for 35 minutes without any sort of apology
should have taken a full history, or even some sort of history
should have allowed me time to finish answering the questions he did bother to ask
should not have turned to DH at one point and said he didn't like my facial expression Confused
should not have stuck his hand out to terminate the consultation while I was still trying to ask a question

I came out of there at 11.00am this morning and I am still crying. DH is Angry with me because I am so upset and because he thinks I have wasted the money this has cost.

I don't know what to think?

AIBU?

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 08/09/2012 18:22

Your DH witnessed him being a complete arse, and didn't provide any support during, and now thinks you wasted money and is annoyed with you?

I think you should complain about the consultant. and be annoyed right back at your dh's lack of support and ridiculous annoyance at you.

2girls2dogs · 08/09/2012 18:24

What was the consultation for? If it was a health consultation then actually, it shouldn't matter one jot if you were paying or not, the consultant will be paid by the NHS if not by you. He still behaved unprofessionally.

I hope you are OK.

If you are upset, you are well within your rights to complain and why is your dh upset with YOU?

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere · 08/09/2012 18:24

Yanbu for being angry and upset.
But he shouldn't behave like that full stop.

Medical professionals should treat everyone with repect. They do not see anyone for free.

I am very sorry you are so upset and had such a horrible time. It sounds awful

Knowsabitabouteducation · 08/09/2012 18:26

I think that is an unusual experience when you are a private patient.

We had the opposite experience recently with DD's plastic surgeon in that we couldn't get away. He kept reassuring us and asking if we had any questions.

He didn't ask for a medical history either. Perhaps that is something for doctors-in-training?

If you are not happy with the service, you should give him feedback.

Sallyingforth · 08/09/2012 18:47

Presumably you were referred to this consultant by your GP or a clinic.
Didn't they send him your case notes?

LydiasMiletus · 08/09/2012 18:51

Is your dh a cock?

Matesnotdates · 08/09/2012 19:02

All too common am afraid even as a private patient.

Original poster
AngelRain · 08/09/2012 19:20

Thanks peeps

This was a private consultation. I was referred by a trainee GP at my practice with just a one page letter. There's no way that could have covered the history of this problem (knee pain) since I was 16!

As to DH, perhaps he is. That's the first time I have taken him to an appointment and he was no help at all. I was disappointed, because he knows how disabled I have become this year and how much I was hoping something would come out of this appointment. I went private because all the NHS wants to do is refer me for physio, which has only aggravated the problems.

Thanks

OP posts:
iklboo · 08/09/2012 19:20

What's the difference between God and a doctor? God doesn't think he's a doctor.

(my friend told me that. He's a doctor)

Complain about his attitude. He may need some 'feedback' about it.

LydiasMiletus · 08/09/2012 19:25

But is your dh usually a cock?
What I am getting at, is there a possibility you are over reacting?
I am sure he was great, but perhaps feels you are taking it to far or you may not have been happy whatever happened.
Did he recommend anything?

amybelle1990 · 08/09/2012 19:38

YANBU- complain... there's no way you should put up with that kind of crap from a consultant!

Tuttutitlookslikerain · 08/09/2012 19:44

The 35 minutes wouldn't really have bothered me because I know how thorough my consultant is and know when he is running late it is usually for a very good reason.

The rest though, YANBU.

Did you choose this man for any particular reason?

Where are you roughly, Angel? There might be a MNetter who knows of a consultant that might be able to help you.

WelshMaenad · 08/09/2012 20:03

Absolutely NBU at all. This in no way our experience of a private ortho consult (if you're inner near S Wales I can recommend an awesome private ortho surgeon with impeccable bedside manner). That said, I wouldn't stand for bring treated so disrespectfully by an nhs surgeon either!

What was the outcome/treatment plan?

Original poster
AngelRain · 08/09/2012 20:17

The 35 minutes in itself is not a problem - I know this can happen. My NHS consultant (for something else) kept me waiting longer than that last week, but was profusely apologetic. That's the difference.

I chose this one because of his high profile and the letters after his name. He has a great CV. He's also written a journal article on how to examine a knee, setting out the basic techniques, none of which he used on me.

He has made some recommendations and I now have to decide whether to throw any more money at this for MRI, arthoscopy etc now, or whether to make the best of a bad job and wait for the next flare, which could be years away.

Lydia As for DH, as I say, perhaps he is.

OP posts:
Tuttutitlookslikerain · 08/09/2012 20:21

Are you in the East Midlands? My consultant does a lot of work on knees. I see him for another boney condition but I can highly recommend him.

squoosh · 08/09/2012 20:25

When I was a student I worked as an admin assistant in a private consultant's practice. There were approx 12 consultants working there and I have never since witnessed such monstrous egos. Their arrogance was breathtaking.

Mama1980 · 08/09/2012 20:30

The wait wouldn't have bothered me but his attitude definitely would, as for your dp he sounds very unsupportive Sad i would complain in writing about the dr if its in writing they usually have to respond as there will be a record. where abouts are you roughly ? I've literally had my body rebuilt after a car crash and know some great consultants. Have also seen some crap ones with overinflated egos but the good ones do take the time as they should.

Shenanagins · 08/09/2012 20:36

I don't think this is an appropriate way to behave whether you are paying or not. if you saw them in a private hospital you could always complain to them.

if you see your gp again you could ask them to provide you with a name of a good specialist in the specific field as they tend to know-i have seen my gp for two separate things and both times they gave me the name of a good private Dr to see.

whathasthecatdonenow · 08/09/2012 20:43

I ended up seeing a consultant in a private hospital once, but it was via the NHS. He was rude, arrogant and managed to miss the fact I had such a badly infected ear it had left me deaf in one ear. He wrote to my GP that I should not have been referred as there was nothing wrong with me. Luckily my GP knew that there was and sent me straight to the local hospital's Clinical Decision Unit, who had me on IV antibiotics asap. Unfortunately I am permanently deaf in that ear now, which might not have been the case had I been treated in a more timely fashion.

I'm sticking to the good old NHS when I 'choose and book' now - you might not get coffee in the waiting room, but so far they haven't disabled me.

deakymom · 09/09/2012 19:44

i have a lovely consultant he recognises that i sometimes know when my thyroid has gone off track and i will get an extra blood test and meds check from my doctor and he never takes offence to that he has treated most of my family for different things and remembers without checking my notes that he has seen me before even after a three year absence he is a genuinely nice guy and all the doctors like him people like your consultant give mine a bad name

and i know it doesn't seem like much being remembered by a consultant but personally it makes me feel like a person not a battery hen!!

ZiaMaria · 09/09/2012 19:56

Complain and demand your money back. If he couldn't even be bothered to take a history, his advice is likley worthless and you should not have to pay for it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page