The people upstairs

[Pickles77]

Have now been shagging for over a hour. I think my floorboards may give way in a second. She sounds like a bloody whale.
It's driving me fucking mad, how embarrassing when it's woken you, your mum and dad up!!

I am not jealous btw
I am sleep deprived so AIBU to be mightily pissed off?!

Put some Barry white on very loud

YADNBU but over an hour you say? That's some stamina! Maybe pop a note under the door asking them to keep it down.

I'm surprised the bed has legs, they appear to like some kind of drum and bass beat.

Oh bless you, that's not fun (for you anyway!)
My worst moment was having to entertain a housemate's mum whilst said housemate was having very loud sex upstairs, so embarrassing!

Oh gosh did you not interrupt housemate?

Oh no whispers didn't u run upstairs quickly and tell her!

Start singing it loudly!

It was a male housemate and he knew his mum was in the house!! To be fair to him, it was noisy because they had a very squeeky bed rather than because they were making lots of noise, iyswim? She just thought it was funny, I was so embarrassed!

She thought it was funny? My mum would have died

Rub upstairs, knock loudly, put on your most concerned face and ask if everything is alright as you keep hearing a loud noise as if someone is in pain.

Run not rub. DO NOT run upstairs and rub them

I most defiantly would not want to rub either of them

poor you. i used to be kept awake all night as a student by someone doing this upstairs. i used to sleep in the lounge - and the others used to moan at me cause they said doing that was embarrassing for the couple.

not sure there's a solution in your case....Maybe playing loud music every time they do it might give them a hint and would at least drown the noise

Other peoples sex noises are so awful!

Oh it's awful OP! My neighbours used to be at it all the time, leaving the baby crying. So I had to put up with 'oh yes oh my god oh my god eeeeeeeee' (she was faking I just know) as well as her poor baby screaming it's lungs out

Ghostship, if you could hear them at it, and the baby screaming, presumably the baby could hear them at it too Nobody wants to hear their parents doing that

When I was in digs there was a couple in one room who were very noisy. We used to play The Ride of the Valkyries outside their door when they were getting to a climax.

I'd go with the Barry white music loudly myself like another poster suggested

I think she found the fact that it was so obvious and that I was trying to cover it up by talking louder the funniest thing

tubular bells !