to think men & women can just be friends?

[Bedders]

If a married friend of the opposite sex invites you out for a drink, just the 2 of you, can this ever be OK?

Yes, why not?

My DP has a work 'wife' whom I call no.2 (as in his no.2 fan, me being his no.1 of course) so we are even stevens.
It's nice and we both enjoy having friends of both gender.

PS, room 56 is fine by me, but that's because I've had such a long dry patch I'd do it anywhere, even in the back of a ford escort .

Where is the OP to explain why she is bovvered.

Of course it's fine. I'm amazed anyone would think it isn't.

Ford Escort

If you wanna get laid by a Jag
Cos there's room in the back forra shag

I have a few male friends. One was a lot younger, and had a bit of a crush. But then met dh and developed a kind of bromance puppy dog crush instead , and I was off the hook.

But the moment one person is feeling something else it's not a friendship.

I'd like to know what's worrying the op, what others will think of her or whether she is concerned by the male friends motivation?

Well obviously the entire human race picks their sexual partners by the shape of their genitals and has no other requirements.

I've always wondered if 'men and women can't be friends' means bisexuals aren't allowed any friends ever?

No. In my experience, there is always one person that would like more from the relationship if it's at a point where they woudo make arrangements to go out alone. Unless one of them is gay.

There can still be a friendship, but I don't believe that it can be a proper friendship if the partners wouldn't be equally welcome.

Yes. I have several male friends. My closest I have been friends now with for over 20 years. I have more male mates than female friends and not all are gay. We sometimes go out for drink/meal/film alone without partners. I don't see how its different from me going out alone with female friends. It's nice sometimes to catch up without partners.

But the partners usually are equally welcome, but - partners are separable (well, healthy ones are, at least!), so sometimes one half of a couple will see their friend of the opposite sex without their partner.

One of my Dad's very best and oldest friends is a woman. She and my Mum got on like a house on fire. All of my exes had female friends, and three of my DH's big circle of friends are women. I like men who see women as friends and equals and not just sexual beings.

Maybe my prototype means I see absolutely no problem with this, as it has always been part of my life.

For the record, my DH's women friends are brilliant, and I formed friendships with all of them outside my DH. To the point that before we emigrated, I saw more of them than he did. Sorry about that, DH!

What a load of cobblers Outraged. It's not that partners wouldn't be welcome. I have some interests that my partner doesn't share. I used go to pub quizzes and Elvis impersonators with one which our partners would rather gouge their eyes out than see. Dungeons and Dragons with another. Partners really not interested. Also, talking Social Work. Everyone knows how much 'normal' people love to talk about Social Work and the policy thereof. DH would rather sit at home or hang out with his own friends once in a while.

And no, Ria bisexuals should stay at home lest their sexual urges take them over.

There's a difference between the partners not being interested, and the partners not being welcome.

In the OP it was a meeting 'for a drink', not to do a specific thing. That's also different.

I'm only going on my experience, and in my experience the only males that I can honestly say are true friends to me are ones that are also as good friends with my husband. The males that I have thought have been my friends, have turned out to want more.

I lived with a man i was just friends with. He wasn't in a relationship at the time though. Nothing ever happened. He is a very dear friend.

I think the way the OP is phrased is different from the question in the title, tbh.
Yes, of course men and women can just be friends.
However, "inviting you out for a drink" sounds like a date to me, and that's a different thing entirely. If I were out doing something (volunteering, work, hobby) and a friend said, "Do you fancy a pint afterwards?", I'd be fine going, or with my dh going, but agin, that's not how I interpret being invited out for a drink.
So, it depends on the context, language used, and tone of the invitation.

Since the OP has scarpered, I guess we'll never know.

What an odd AIBU.

It depends entirely on your relationship with the 'married friend'

Personally, such a relationship would seem odd to me but then I am not you, OP.

Of course they can. I have lots of male friends, some of whom have a wife / partner. Sometimes I meet these male friends alone, sometimes with their wife / partner. Sometimes DP comes along. Just because I am female, does not mean I want to leap on every passing penis.

My friends are my friends, tbh gender does not come in to it.

Some posters seem to assume that men and women can't have shared interests that they want to talk about.

I have a very good friend of 30 years standing; if he asked me out for a drink it would mean he wanted somebody to talk to about our specialist subject, about which dh knows nothing and cares less. Of course we sometimes meet up with dh present: but that means the whole conversation has to be geared to subjects he can understand, so it becomes very general. If I am ever to be allowed to have an in-depth conversation about things that I am passionately interested in, I have to do it with dh absent; doing it in his presence would just mean excluding him.

Well I'm married and I have a couple of male friends I meet up with for drinks when we can. One is a confirmed bachelor and the other is in a serious committed relationship.

We met at university (when I was with DH but before we were married) when we were all part of a bigger mixed social group. DH used to babysit my son so that I could go out with them a couple of times a month, and sometimes I stopped over night at one of their houses.

Nothing ever happened. I never even contemplated it. I doubt they did either, but if they did, they never gave any hint of it.

But like everyone else has said, it depends on the context.