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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my 5 year old he can't stay up late after all?

34 replies

poachedeggs · 07/09/2012 06:06

DS is 5 and started school last month. Since then he's been waking up at 5am and is subsequently tired. He's got a Bunny clock and knows not to get up before it. He's been getting better slowly.

This morning I was woken at 5am by him playing loudly with his train set. He's complaining of prickly eyes and has been in tears twice already.

AIBU to tell him he can't stay up to watch DVD tonight as he's been promised?

OP posts:
TanteRose · 07/09/2012 06:14

oh, the little lad! school starting is such a huge change

do you mean you want to punish him for waking up early by not letting him watch a DVD? that is very mean - the poor lad can't help waking up

he shouldn't have been playing so loud, I agree, but he obviously trying to cope with starting school etc.

he will probably fall asleep in front of the TV this evening anyway - don't tell him now that he can't watch the DVD. Maybe he has been looking forward to Friday night and a bit of relax after a long week at school

Smile
3duracellbunnies · 07/09/2012 06:20

I think it depends on the basis on which you promised to let him watch the DVD. If you promised on the basis that for example he went into school without crying then he could watch a DVD tonight then I would think it unreasonable to then say no as he has earnt that privalege. If it was more of a 'wouldn't it be nice to watch a DVD tomorrow' then I would then say that it was something nice you were going to do but can't now because he is tired. Can you start the DVD early? Just after an early supper, or even have a TV dinner, that is the height of treats in our house!

Original poster
poachedeggs · 07/09/2012 06:25

It's not punishment, it just seems insane to let him get even more tired. He had never fallen asleep readily when he's tired so he relies on being put to bed. That's been happening at 6pm sometimes but he's still exhausted.

I feel that by letting him stay up I'll be making it all worse.

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SavoyCabbage · 07/09/2012 06:27

Just start it early. I used to start my bedtime routine at 5pm sometimes if dd was tired. Not now she can tell the time though.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 07/09/2012 06:27

Well he's been getting to watch cartoons for a while after school anyway.

I'm totally frustrated. I can't make him stay asleep but he's just not getting enough rest.

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MrsMangoBiscuit · 07/09/2012 06:30

I would make sure he's all ready for bed straight after tea, then let him watch the movie with a hot chocolate. With any luck he'll be so drowsy he'll nod off and you'll get to put him to bed early and happy. We did the same with my DD after a very busy week and her not sleeping well and it worked well. Put her to bed just after 6, didn't hear a thing until 7.30.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 07/09/2012 06:33

I'd give my right arm for a child who slept when they were tired but honestly he's only ever fallen asleep on the sofa once in five years (we think it was glandular fever!). When he's tired he gets hyperactive.

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BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 07/09/2012 06:34

My ds1 is 5,at school, goes to bed about 7, wakes between 5-6.

Such a massive change for them being at school and it will take a little time for his body to adjust.

If it was me, I'd play it by ear later on and see how he is. I wouldn't punish him for waking up early though. It may well change when the mornings are darker and colder.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 08/09/2012 06:07

Another 5am start. He's rubbing his eyes and yawning. Ten hours isn't enough for a 5 year old, is it?

WTF do I do though?

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SavoyCabbage · 08/09/2012 06:12

Is he getting up because it's too light or the birds wake him? My dd has a classical music cd playing in her room so that blocks out the noise from us clanking about.

Or does he get up because he wants to play or watch tv or something. My foolish dh introduced Saturday morning tv once and it spectacularly backfired as they got up faaaaaar to early!

SavoyCabbage · 08/09/2012 06:13

I would put him back to bed. Tell him it's nighttime.

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 08/09/2012 06:13

It's very difficult to alter a body clock.

Birds are singing, it's light outside - that is the natural time to wake up.

Have you run through the obvious things like, curtains are thick enough to block light? any traffic noise? room temperature?

Original poster
poachedeggs · 08/09/2012 06:18

He's had blackout blinds for years, and light or noise has never been a problem before. His sister gets up around 4-4.30 (I know!) but she's beena terrible sleeper for years and hasn't really disturbed him until now. It's only been since starting school.

I want to tire him out lots (there's potential for swimming, a bike ride and a 'playdate' today. But I feel like that might just make things worse if he won't sleep enough.

He's already been seen by paediatrics for recurrent illness and the doctor reckons it's probably been a result of chronic sleep deprivation and is a vicious cycle. Great!

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Original poster
poachedeggs · 08/09/2012 06:20

Savoy we've had a bunny clock for a couple of years. I've told him we'll reintroduce a chocolate button reward in the morning for staying in bed until it wakes.

'It's nighttime!' is something I've said every day for weeks!

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JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 08/09/2012 06:29

Some people just dont need sleep. Then again it is possible to get overtired and just not be able to go to sleep.

Fresh air and exercise are my great cure alls!

SavoyCabbage · 08/09/2012 06:41

It must be awful for you. Not only are you tired, but you can see that he is and that he is going to get worse as the day goes on.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 08/09/2012 06:56

It's very frustrating.

Thanks for all the suggestions :). I'm going to take them swimming this morning then see how it goes. Maybe I'll let him stay up tonight to watch a boring DVD. And then have an early night ready for another brutal morning!

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Glittertwins · 08/09/2012 07:03

How did he do this morning? Maybe he is over excited by school and can't sleep but I bet this will right itself over a few (slightly sleeples) mornings.

procrastinor · 08/09/2012 07:04

You have my sympathy. Ds has started to wake at 5:30 and need getting up at six. Now I'm on my own it is just wearing me down. I must admit I'm being a terrible parent and have just changed him and given him a new bottle (he normally has one a night). Of course now I'm all wide awake which kind of defeated the point!

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 08/09/2012 16:43

He just may not need the sleep.

And he may change when it's dark nights and mornings and it's cold outside of bed.

My ds1(5) sleeps between 10/11 hours and he doesn't stop all day. Like today we've visited family, did some birthday shopping, had a couple of hours on the park with his scooter and friends and he's now bouncing all over the furniture!!!

But he does sleep better, as in goes to sleep quicker, settles down quicker etc if he's been outside in any weather.

Fresh air=eating better+sleeping better for ds1. But he's happy on a 10-11 hour sleep.

Maybe he's having a growth spurt? Give him some stodgy supper? Like rice pudding or pancakes/tea cakes? Maybe he's hungry in the morn?

teacherwith2kids · 08/09/2012 16:48

Is there a poossibility of letting him watch the DVD but not by 'letting him stay up'?

So could you run the whole planned event much earlier, so e.g. if you've said 'a DVD after supper', you have supper now, do bath or whatever, let him watch the DVD, give him a good snack to see him through the night and then tuck him in? So he's in bed earlyish still but doesn't miss out on the treat of a DVD?

Original poster
poachedeggs · 08/09/2012 18:58

Well, we didn't get a swim today (pool was shut) but he's played on his bike, been to the park, cycled around 4 miles (he only learned to ride it a couple of weeks back!) then spent the afternoon at a friend's house. In between he's been on the trampoline, and I pulled him in half an hour ago and plonked him in front of a Tom and Jerry DVD. I'll put his sister to bed first!

He needs more than he's getting. I can tell by his behaviour (poor listening and concentration, he struggles to process information, fidgety an tearful) and by looking at him. But for tonight he can chill.

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Original poster
poachedeggs · 09/09/2012 06:42

4.30 am. FFS.

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SavoyCabbage · 09/09/2012 06:58

Holy crap! That is early.

I know you know that! You must be knackered.

TheProvincialLady · 09/09/2012 07:15

He is anxious about school, even if he is enjoying it. It is a huge change for children when they start. My 5 year old also started finding it harder to get to sleep at night and was waking earlier when he started, and again this year at the beginning of Y1 he has reverted. You need to be patient and kind with him - he's not doing it on purpose.

If your son doesn't fall back asleep again, staying in bed for a couple of hours wide awake is not going to happen is it? Will he read/look at books or will he listen to story cds in bed? That is what we got my DS doing and it helped a lot. We even find that he has put a cd on in the middle of the night when he has woken up, without disturbing us. He often falls back asleep again now.