to think that my sister is horribly entitled

[sisterectomy]

namechanged in case i out myself. sorry long, dont want to dripfeed.
my mother has a fairly large amount of inherited money. i havent seen much of it due to my alternative lifestyle i havent been found worthy (thats for another thread though) but both my sisters have toed the line or allowed their life choices to be dictated and had homes bought for them.
recently whe we visited the younger one who lives in a flat and has never really worked or lived within her means (she had some inheritance before and bought a car she couldnt afford to run safe in the knowledge that someone else would pay her car insurance, dresses in labels, has every bit of pointless expensive baby kit.) she was giving my mum shit because she was finding the steps up to her flat difficult with baby. in her view mother should buy her a house because middle sister was bought a very cheap house before the property boom which she couldnt sell so another house was bought for her.
younger sister was whining saying you bought middle sister a house and you only bought me a (£100k) flat. and "i want a range rover. ill buy one when you die!!!"
i was literally speechless. i said something along the lines of "wtf mate" and she couldnt see the problem. did i not understand that the stairs were difficult?
i live off grid without even running water. while that is my choice it is a choice based on my desire to live within my means and not be beholden to the state or family and it involves a lot more hard work than climbing a few stairs.
i love my sister but fear my mum has created a monster. when i fucked up in my teens i was told to sink or swim. i wasnt even lent a couple hundred pounds and became homeless as a result. middle sister is pretty smug and acts as if she and her dh had bought their house by the fruits of their own labour but little sis is beyond the pale.
or is it just me? is it only fair that if middle sis got another house bought when house #1 wasnt good enough little sis should get the same? im not whinging about the unfairness to myself, it made me who i am and im proud to stand on my own feet. i have my own money and dont need mother dearests help. she swears i will inherit enough to make it fair when shes gone, but wont fund anything thats outside her comfort Zone in her lifetime.

any chance you could see as little of your family as possible?

oh believe me i live as far away as possible and am very very busy

my dad's lovely tho

Sounds a bit like my family this. Glad you have posted. I am the middle one . The younger one has such a bad attitude. Entitlement etc and the older one thinks of herself all the time. Also has entitlement issues and my mother well she is the worst of the lot. She wants anything and everything without wanting to do any work for it.

I feel for you.

Yeah both mum and younger sis have developed a life strategy of refusing to learn how to do anything because then someone else will do it for you.
Both mum and middle sis work low paid jobs but act as if they had earned the inheritance. There is no adknowledgement that if they were living on their earnings alone they would all be in crappy rented accommodation struggling to make ends meet. I was asked to agree not to inherit in mums lifetime so that middle sister could have a new house. I agreed as I knew it would just happen anyway if I didn't. All that was wrong with her old house was it was small and they had to live next to poor people. I shit you not.

Your sisters sound lovely.

How do you you think your mum feels about this?

I don't think there is much you can do except stay away and come up with a stock phrase to use if your sister moans about her 'lot'.

I think your sisters sounds like entitled arses.

You, however sound lovely

When your mother does pass on, beware they dont then expect you to take up the role of provider, especially if your mother makes you better off than them. They sound worse than useless.

deckswabber mum is so barking and dp far in denial I can't fathom what she thinks. She is a nightmare to be around so is basically paying people to tolerate her.
My crime was to be a gifted child but not want to pursue a high flying career and provide bragging material. I did go right off the rails in my teens and was severely depressed. For long time I was threatened to be disinherited in case I spent it on drugs. However both sisters have taken plenty of drugs and booze so it dosent add up.
Middle sister is actually lovely if you meet her but has another side which is again a whole other thread and was awful to me when I was suffering PTSD after losing a child and made me very Ill. On her own she's OK but her dh has over the years turned into raging Tory frothing at the mouth about benefit claimants while living high on the hog on our family wealth.
I have distanced myself but now I have a baby they all want to be back in my life. Now I don't need her money as I recieved a large cash settlement from the hospital responsible for dds death she is desperate to buy me things. I think she knows she's blown it. I'm sad to say I stopped loving my mother when she sneaked up to the funeral parlor while I was at home with the minister,made funeral arrangements without my knowledge and was the last person to see my daughter before they sealed the coffin. I had a complete nervous breakdown and didn't speak to her for over two years.
I feel like I'm mean denying them regular access to my son but at the same time self preservation has to kick in.

This thread remainds me why inheriting, rather than earning, money can be a terrible terrible thing.

YADNBU to think that!

Their poison, you know it and they know it. What's the point of even keeping in contact? It all sounds very damaging.

Oh lord. OP you sound terrifying.

Let yours sisters be entitled and spoilt and go on weaving your own clothes. Seriously. You seem very very angry. Can't be good for you.

What happened to your dd was awful, just horrendous, I am so sorry.

Perhaps your family want to spend more time with your baby now because of that? I'm not lessening your grief, but they lost your dd too.

Just read your last post.

I take it back. Don't see them any more!

you can't choose your family but you can choose to either ignore them if they are annoying or rise above the bitching. take a deep breath and take several steps back. they are probably feeding off each others' reactions. leave them to it

I'm not angry any more Ophelia. I'm just feeling guilty or being made to because they did indeed also lose my daughter and I don't think I can completely cut contact because of that. Think I just needed to write it down cos its playing on my mind.

Then see them for as much as you can tolerate, and no more. You've chosen to live your life in a different way to your mother and sisters, nothing wrong with that. You've said you don't want the money, they clearly do. Let them get on with it and let it wash over you.

There's no need to let it upset you. If you're happy with your choices, just leave them to live with theirs.

Its a no brainer when you see it written down really isn't it. I'm trying to think of mething positive to say about my family.
I was just dwelling on it last night and needed to get it out so I could go to sleep. My family is dp and Ds really and we have a great relationship. I would rather piss my relatives off than let them fuck with my sons head.
whatsoever I quite agree. Money in large quantities is toxic stuff and Its really scary being given a whole lot of it.