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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a teacher contacting my 15 year old cousin via twitter is gross miss conduct?!

55 replies

winniesmum · 06/09/2012 20:18

Just that really. The content its self was not inappropriate in its self by surely the situation is???!!! I'm not her legal guardian but might as well be :/

OP posts:
whattodothistime · 06/09/2012 20:32

Id report without a seconds hesitation, its absolutely inappropriate, regardless of the context.

EvilTwins · 06/09/2012 20:34

OP- I just read your latest post. Actually, that does sound odd.

Mrsjay · 06/09/2012 20:34

winnie is he young does she maybe fancy him getting the wrong idea I do think this is inappropriate TBH . I don't think anything is going on though but you know sometimes attention can be viewed as something else,

Shelly32 · 06/09/2012 20:34

I agree that the questioning of the student about why she deleted him is a bit odd though..

JeuxDEnfants · 06/09/2012 20:37

He should not be sending her messages unrelated to school.

Wigeon · 06/09/2012 20:38

My DH is a teacher and he would never ever contact a pupil via Twitter. Or Facebook. Or via his personal email. Especially not a female pupil. If you want to chase them up about homework, or something to do with school, there are proper channels to do that through. If you want to contact them about something not to do with school, well, you just shouldn't. Or you should talk to them on school property.

Your OP is exactly why teachers don't do this. Even if it was completely innocent, it's so easy to be misconstrued. I would mention it to your cousin's form tutor.

knitknack · 06/09/2012 20:38

Please please please inform the head. If its innocent then the teacher from the sound of things could use some guidance.... and if it's not, well, you might literally change her life (for the good!). The head needs to know this - just a quick call is all. I'm a secondary teacher, btw.

marquesas · 06/09/2012 20:39

Arranging to meet a student (via a direct message?) is very different to commenting on general tweets though isn't it?

winniesmum - I'd feel this was a bit inappropriate as well, it feels a bit more like socialising with pupils rather than communicating in a professional capacity

knitknack · 06/09/2012 20:40

Ps I use twitter as a revision tool - but world never MESSAGE a student which is what it sounds like

EvilTwins · 06/09/2012 20:40

OP, have you referred this to your cousin's parents? If anyone is going to go to the school about this, surely it ought to be them?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 06/09/2012 20:40

Sending messages over twitter is a bit stupid and worthy of a warning, but gross misconduct? Get a grip, no one died!

It should be discouraged though. My friend had a brief 'encounter' with a male teacher at her school when she was 15/16. Obviously it was highly inappropriate, but it was perfectly legal and she was more than happy about it at the time.

whattodothistime · 06/09/2012 20:42

Screen shot it all - thats the best thing to do and contact the head, this is against every school policy.

schoolgovernor · 06/09/2012 20:46

Most schools will have some sort of policy for teachers that covers this, and in every school I know it would specifically state that teachers should not have pupils as "friends" on social networking sites.
For those saying "get a grip" that's the fact of the matter. This teacher is likely to be in breach of his employment conditions.
So op, you could be kind and warn him in some way. Or you could contact the school where he works and express your concern.

Themumsnot · 06/09/2012 20:47

Another teacher here, who would be very concerned about this. You say you 'might as well be' her legal guardian? Do you have authority to contact the school on her behalf? I would certainly do so. Call the school and ask who their safeguarding officer/responsible person is and ask to speak to them. This type of contact is, at the very least, inappropriate and I can't imagine that any teacher would be unaware of that. (Quite different, IMO, from the sort of contact Eviltwins and others are talking about, which is school-related.)

Original poster
winniesmum · 06/09/2012 20:47

Mrsjay hes in his early 30's (older than me I might add!). Im confident that nothing else is going on but thinking the worst, I feel thats how the stories we hear/read about start. She of course doesn't want me to make a scene and talk to anyone at school!

Parenting a teenager is so hard!

OP posts:
whattodothistime · 06/09/2012 20:49

Id absolutely not approach the teacher, at best he is niave and needs to be appropriately trained.

Wigeon · 06/09/2012 20:51

Outraged - since 2003 it's been illegal for a teacher to have a relationship with a pupil under the age of 18 (see here). So depending on when your friend as at school, it might not have been perfectly legal.

Otheregos · 06/09/2012 20:52

I think the teacher has over stepped the professional boundaries here and he is not acting appropriately towards your cousin, I think you should report it and if it's all innocent at least you've done the right thing and no harm done, if it's breaching the teachers code of conduct or school policies at least it has been highlighted to the school and the correct course of action can be taken. I would imagine most schools have a social media policy to safe guard the children and teachers from things like this.

Wigeon · 06/09/2012 20:54

Even if nothing untoward is going on, you should still raise this with the school (or suggest your cousin's parents do). The possibilities for this being misinterpreted and causing all sorts of problems for the teacher, or other pupils in future, are many.

Houseofplain · 06/09/2012 20:55

No it's not right. He is her teacher. Not her friend.

He has proper channels. Teens talk too much about things they shouldn't on social media.

What he is doing.....especially pming it's just wrong.

Original poster
winniesmum · 06/09/2012 20:56

Its a very complicated situation reguarding her parents. She lives with me and i'm not sure what will happen in the future but this is unlikely to change so I am able to contact school ect.
Thank you everyone for your advice and opinions, I am going to talk to the school.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 06/09/2012 21:00

outraged

A friend of mine also had a relationship with a male teacher while at school. While she may also have been happy about it, it was highly inappropriate - and totally illegal, teacher or no teacher.

Original poster
winniesmum · 06/09/2012 21:00

Thannk you schoolgovernor

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 06/09/2012 21:01

Our LA has sent the directive that staff are not to use social media (like that is going to happen).

I have removed my own children from FB because although my wall is tight and I dont post photos or personal information, I can' take the risk one of their friends might be able to slip under my radar. Although what they are going to pick up unless they are game freaks like is is anyone's guess.

A lot of my colleagues have current pupils as 'friends'. This is after two staff being sacked on gross misconduct charges for inappropriate FB use (not student related)

having said that, there are sanctioned FB accounts for pupil-teacher relationships to upload essays etc - although why it is needed when they can use the school intranet is beyond me.