AIBU to stop taking neighbours parcels in

[lola88]

Background is my neighbour has things delivered about 3/4 times a week all sorts from big boxes to small things from next, i always end up taking them in because she's at work which i didn't mind much except that she always comes for them at 9-10 at night knocks loudly until we open the door usually waking DS. So pretty annoying but no big deal really

Now comes the BUT last week i refused to take in a package because i was having an early night and DP was out felt a bit guilty but she'd never know anyway, she comes to the door later asking if i had her package said no didn't know anything about it she huffed and puffed then left, this is an 9.20ish (grr). Then today a guy came asking ifi could take something in first i said yes but he said it was 4 large boxes so said sorry no actually. Reason being my house is tiny and i had my mum, gran, sister niece and DS so didn't want us all climbing over boxes plus tbh getting fed up THEN they guy said that there was a note that numbern 15 (me) is her 'safe place'. I'm just WTF telling a company things can be left here without even asking!

So AIBU to just not take stuff in from now on because it's inconvenient and she's annoyed me using me as her collection service?

I would stop. I've just filled out the Royal Mail opt out form aswell, infact I got my sticker today which I am supposed to display on the letterbox I think. I was wondering if I could add a sentence on there asking couriers not to bother asking aswell. I was taking in packages almost daily and I was once left with something from Argos for 3 weeks! I have a tiny place too and if I have packages in the hall I can't get the buggy out the door.

I think it's very cheeky of neighbours to expect others to take in parcels when they know that there is about 1% chance that they will be in themselves - fine if they are happy to receive a card and pick it up themselves though, but I think if they genuinely thought there would never be anyone to take in the parcels they would not order half as much stuff.

I would consider taking in stuff if the courier company paid me, but that's it. Surely it saves them money by having to do less trips ?

YAnbu
I have taken in parcels for my neighbour but after the way she has behaved to me I will never do it again. I don't care if it's unfriendly!

YADNBU - the pure cheek of nominating you as a safe place. For that alone I'd stop taking them never mind the knocking at ridiculous o'clock. I would accept parcels for neighbours and my neighbour from across the road took in a much anticipated parcel for me and then even more nicely dropped it round later

I won't take anything in for our neighbour - he's a bastard.

It's ok once in a while but four times a week is just silly. It's ironic that your neighbour is shopping online for her convenience, which means inconveniencing someone else!

Sorry but Duchess

That's how I feel about mine.

Don't do it and don't feel bad about it.

In a previous house, we had a neighbour who bought everything, bar groceries, online and worked full-time, so I constantly took in parcels for her and her family.

They never bothered to come and collect them so they would pile up, and if I tried to take them they often wouldn't even answer the door, so it would take several attempts to pass them over. It was all horribly inconvenient.

One parcel that my daughter took in for her was in a very battered box and, when I finally got my neighbour to come and pick it up, she said WE had opened the parcel and accused us of trying to steal the contents.

I swore loudly carefully explained that I would never help her again and she stormed off in a huffy strop because she KNEW we had tried to steal from her.

She carried on ordering gubbins off the internet, to be left with us, despite our imaginary thieving ways, and I took huge amounts of pleasure turning them all away. They were crap neighbours anyway so it was no loss.

I take stuff in for my neighbours all the time, it really doesn't bother me. One isn't here much,he works away, but has a bit of an ebay habit and I frequently rack up 6-7 parcels before he comes home to get them. It's just... nice. Nice to be nice to people, to help them out. It's a fucking nightmare ordering stuff online when you work full time, many places won't send to anything but your billing address.

If the time she collects things is a nuisance, ask nicely if she could come earlier, or wait for you to drop things round after your DS is in bed so he doesn't get woken up.

We have never nominated anyone to take in our parcels - nor as far as I know have our neighbours for theirs. However, occasionally a courier will knock next door and ask for a parcel to be taken in & if I am in and know that next door aren't and spot a delivery for them, I will ask the courier if they ant to leave it with me.
I have no problem with this arrangement as it is only occasionally. If I have a card through my door I will always go and retrieve the parcel as soon as convenient. My pet hate however, is courier companies who do not put a card through my door to tell me they have delivered a parcel elsewhere, and the neighbour has to come and bring it to me (which thankfully they have always done) I always ring up the firm sending the goods and complain about this practice and tell them to 'b*ck the courier, as I think it makes me look rude. I was also a bit once when neighbour knocked with a parcel in her hand which she had taken in. I said 'thank you very much' and she replied "I will go and get the other 14 boxes now"!!! I was mortified, it was something I was expecting but had not been given a delivery date for. I thought the courier had a bl*dy cheek!!!

OP your neighbour is taking the p*ss and you need to either stop altogether or lay down some ground rules with her.

or wait for you to drop things round after your DS is in bed

Now why on earth would anyone want to be the delivery person as well as accepting the packages....?

I have neighbours that regularly get stuff delivered on a Saturday, they are never at home. I used to take it in for them but stopped, they never even said so much as a thank you!

Because it takes virtually no effort and strengthens neighbourly relations? You never know when you'll need help from your neighbours, after all. Fucking hell, in my street we all do this for each other all the time and think nothing of it. Perhaps I live in some cloud cuckoo land where everyone is intrinsically nice and tries to be helpful and doesn't grimp about the effort of opening one's door, walking a few steps and knocking on someone else's.

I have had a heavy parcel for one of the downstairs flats sitting in my hall since before the summer holidays. We've knocked (he's never in - in fact last year the Council ended up breaking in in order to do the gas check because he he was away so long), we've left notes, but it's still here. If it wasn't so bloody heavy I would have taken it to the sorting office and asked them to return it.

I won't be taking anything for them again.

I'm at home most days and deal with parcels for seven neighbours. I have the key for one because their things are large so they are delivered there. Where the others are concerned, I write a note on the back of an envelope with my address that I have a parcel for them, put that through their letter box and they bring it as identification to collect their parcel. I don't deliver parcels - just the note in case the deliveryman has not left a card.

Does it hurt people to do a good turn? You might need one yourself one day.

I've said a few times about being late but it doesn't seem to get through to her at all. She also parks in our parking space everyday (we own it btw) so her DH can park in theres it doesn't bother me as such because we don't have a car but there are guest spaces or she could at least ask if it's ok to use it.

The best part is if she drives up (to my space) while i'm struggling up the steps with the buggy she will sit in her car until i'm in when normally she's righ out.

Thats it no more packages.

She's a cheeky mare to nominate you as her safe place without asking!

WelshMaenad, I think it's nice and neighbourly to do this, but there are limits. In the OP's case there's obviously more involved than 'opening one's door, walking a few steps and knocking on someone else's.' My neighbours and I happily take in parcels for each other, but would never unilaterally nominate each other as a safe place, or turn up late at night for them.

I second the idea of putting up a sign saying your house is NOT a safe place. But I'd tell her before you did it.

I don't know what the answer is about the parking space, apart from perhaps yelling 'Get out of the car you lazy caaaah and help me with the buggy'. [not helpful emoticon]

Bobble & Nancy I suppose it's just being neighbourly and comes with the territory of actually liking your neighbours! We are lucky to live amongst 6/7 houses where we all genuinely get on, spend numerous hours in better weather passing the time of day with each other whilst DC play etc.

Thankfully we all seem to have an unspoken agreement regarding boundaries and we don't often go into each others houses as such. I never discuss personal issues, thats what my friends are for.

In answer, It would seem surly and petty not to help out when I can. Also, my DH works away for several weeks at a time and I just never know when I might need their help like now with my bloody broken ankle!

What about asking her for a key so you can put things straight into her house?

I would prefer it if my neighbour didn't take parcels in actually, I've never nominated them but the postman/some courier companies will leave it with them. I always feel a bit awkward having to knock, as I'm often not home until late and I wouldn't knock after 8.30pm, and then have to leave early in the morning so wouldn't want to call by very early. It's much easier for me to stop by the collection office in the morning. I've actually got a sticker from RM asking them not to leave parcels now, but courier companies ignore it.

I've been asked to take in parcels before and refused as there's often not a convenient time for the neighbour to call for them as I know I won't be at home later. You shouldn't feel bad about it - there's no obligation to do it.

She's a cheeky caaah alright!

If it's that frequent they could justify the cost of a parcel safe and not constantly bother you.

A key wouldn't be an option i hardlt know her i don't even know her first name and she didn't even know that DS was a boy until last month and i'm pretty sure she doesn't know my name.

She's not been to the door yet but am quite going to enjoy telling her she can not use my house as a safe place, i'm guessing she didn't think i would be any wiser to it as i would either miss it or take it in as far as she knows.

I do take things in for half the street and have been doing for over a year since mat leave and tbh if she asked i would have prob said yes but she's just taking the piss now

We've been in our new house for one year. I've only met 2 neighbours on the whole street and that's because I took their parcels in. I work full-time. Pretty sad, I'd say.

I wonder if these [posters above] are the same people who came together in neighbourly street parties for the Jubilee :)

Tell her to get a parcel box. We did as I feared I was inconveniencing our lovely neighbour who always takes things in. Therefore, if I am out she only gets disturbed for big items and all the small ones get put in our lockable box.

Once or twice a month is fine, but that is too many.

How can you not know her first name when she has parcels delivered to your house 3 -4 times a week??

Oh I hate courier companies. I live in a block of flats and work full time. If I order something I ask it to be sent royal mail, so that I can collect it from the parcel office round the corner. But if it is sent by courier then I've got no hope of receiving it. They never leave a card, they never remember who they left the parcel with. I can't count the number of times I've phoned a courier to ask where my parcel is.
"The parcel was left with your neighbour." "Which one?" "Sorry, don't know." "Does your driver remember which flat, what race or gender was the neighbour, which floor they lived on?" "No"
So then I traipse round the block knocking randomly on doors and asking if they've got my parcel. Then I declare the object lost, & get sent a replacement. Only then to have some irritated neighbour knock a month later asking why I hadn't collected the parcel they've been so kindly looking after for me. So then you have two of the objects!
I bloody hate useless couriers.