To have told brother about his son's behaviour?

[NikitasSidekick]

I have just come back from a couple of days break with my kids, nephew and SIL. During the time I was there, nephew threw a watermelon down my top, blew chocolate milkshake all down my back with a straw (encouraged by his mother and then laughed at), threw my trousers in the swimming pool, filled one of my shoes with water, dragged the mattress off my bed and threw the bedding all over the room and ripped up a book of mine.

Most things encouraged by his mother.

I told my brother when I got back what his son had been like and it's apparantly caused a huge argument between him and his wife.

Was IBU?

Good grief no YANBU to tell him...
But why was he behaving like that? Why did you go away with them? Is this unusual behaviour?

No you weren't BU but you should probably have had words with his wife at the time and/or told his DC off if she couldn't be bothered

Did you talk to your SIL while you were away and ask her why she was encouraging such awful behaviour?

And no, I don't think speaking to your was U at all. His wife and son sound like a pair of nightmares.

Wow. Why didn't you say something to your SIL at the time?

How old is your nephew?

Good heavens, that is some really outlandish behaviour - particularly from the SIL "encouraging him" rather than chastising him. YANBU at all.

YADNBU - how old is your nephew! Did you not say something to your SIL at the time?

Depends on his age - but surely the issue is with SIL not nephew?

he's 11. There is no talking to her, she's just in hysterics at him all the time. I told him off constantly but it's a losing battle when his mum is whispering "go and chuck soggy sand at Nikki"

I am going to say YABU.
unless you spoke to your sip while you were away and only mentioned it to your brother in passing. Tbh it sounds like you 'told on them'.
You should have spoken to sil about or left it.

YANBU, are they always like this? I'd find that really annoying, did your children start to copy him? I always find that aspect difficult when other children misbehave, your children copy and they are told off but the other kids just keep on doing it.

Why wasn't your brother there on holiday as well, just as a matter of interest?

Your SIL sounds like a juvenile delinquent herself, or not all there - she shouldn't have allowed that behaviour, let alone encouraged it!

YWNU to tell your DB at all - he needs to know that his son is being encouraged in ridiculously anti-social behaviour and it needs to be stopped.

If they are always like this, why did you go away with them.
Instead of telling your brother I would have said, to both, I won't be going away with you again because......

ah well - look at it this way... you know who not to go away with in future!

11!! Assuming he has no special needs, I think I would have said something to him myself. Ripping up a book? Really?! Milkshake all over your back? Wow. That sounds like the holiday from hell and there's no way I could have kept quiet.

I'd be giving sil the benifit of my opinion.
She sounds like an idiot!

Never go away with them again. Ever.

GOOD GRIEF!

YANBU. Sort of. I mean, you ought to have spoken to your SIL first. To be honest I can't imagine how you managed NOT to have a flaming row with her over it. I'd have been fuming!

The child is clearly in need of boundaries from his mum, who in turn seems to have issues with you, so I can see why approaching her may have been tricky.

I don't think YABU to speak to your brother, in the absence of a decent conversation with your SIL at the time it was all happening (which I am really about)

I have to ask: WHY did you go on holiday with a SIL who a) seems to have a problem with you and b) you don't feel able to talk to?

BenEfit that should read - what a crap spelling mistake.

Are your DB and SIL separated by any chance?

Seriously if a mother told their child to throw something at me I'd get whatever it was and throw it as hard as I could at the mother to see how the fuck she liked it. Repeat for pouring chocolate milkshake down her top and I would have thrown all her fucking clothes and herself into the pool. What a vile cunt. She needs a good kick up the arse. The poor child.

She owes you a huge apology, don't ever be sorry for showing her up for what she is and next time fight back.