To wonder if some parents actually bother to set boundaries or discipline their DC?

[WithoutCaution]

It's probably non of my business and I'm BU but on the way back from town I was queuing at the traffic lights. This family with I think a 7 year old boy were walking up the road. The boy was shouting and swearing at the cars, sticking his middle finger up, hitting the cars and at one point got his willie out. I would be sooo embarrassed if my DS ever acted in such a way and he would definitely be told off have some form of punishment (I'm in no way a perfect parent but even I know that that sort of behaviour is not acceptable)

But all his family did was laugh and encourage him

No real point to this except that I was more than a little miffed that his parents did fuck all to correct his behaviour and even more miffed that they encouraged it.

Have you never watched Supernanny? That's what she does. Go around to houses where the parents think they have out of control kids & she teaches the parents how to be parents!!!!! Given the number of shows she does, I'm thinking there must be lots of parents who don't have boundaries or discipline their kids.

I have seen people here explain that they don't want to "squash the confidence" of their children!

Double

Surely there is a difference between being confident and being a little shit

They think their little darling is spirited and lively, everybody's admiring his wonderfully confident and supremely entertaining personality. They are letting him express his true self, they don't want to repress his individuality, squash his spirit and damage his self esteem....

They're oblivious to the gormless little shit everyone else sees.

Reminds me of the other day, when a car drove past with three seven/eight year old kids in the back (loose, no childseats/seatbelts) shooting water pistols out of the car windows. They went right along a busy road, shooting people with water as they went. Their parents or whoever the adults were clearly didn't give a toss that this was annoying, rude, and pretty bloody dangerous (arms sticking out of open window). Some parents need arresting quite frankly!

Of course some parents don't bother to set boundaries or discipline their children- YABU to ask that question as the answer is obvious.

YANBU to be shocked by this behaviour.

The parents probably have shit behaviour themselves and don't think there's anything wrong.

I was talking about this today with a work mate.

Yesterday I went for a coffee to a mates house after school pick up. She has 3 boys, one 9 yrs, one 3 yrs and a 3 month old. She was telling me that her HV has offered to help her with her 3yr olds behaviour. Now I've known her for 20 yrs so have been around since the birth of her first.

They are the most out of control, cheeky and disrespectful kids I've come across. The oldest is a bully. His picks on other kids but when they retaliate he cries. She says he's a sensitive boy!
The 3yr old is a fucking nightmare. He has no boundaries and there are no consequences for both of their bad behaviour. She says they are sting willed children and typical boys!

I hate it when people say this about their spoilt, naughty children. She's started to lose friends because no one can bear to be around them.

Strong willed I mean - predictive bloody text!

We have just moved to get away from an anti-social 11 year old whos Mum is not only incapable of disciplining him but seems to actively encourage his bad behaviour. He has a mouth like a sewer and Ive heard his Mum out the back door laughing her head off at some of the really shocking stuff he says. She generally blames other children to excuse his behaviour. He would be better off in care.

YANBU!

I have a neighbour, who has 4 kids, who doesn't believe in disciplining them as they have to 'learn to make good choices from their own mistakes' and because she doesn't want to 'squash their individuality'

As a result they are wild and wouldn't know good behaviour if it smacked them in the face. She gets irate if anyone as much as attempts to control them when they are outside (unsupervised) or in other people's houses. As a result they're now banned from playing in my house after the 11 year old broke in when we were out one day

One of the very worst behaved students I ever taught was a boy from a very middle class family (music lessons, lots of encouragement from parents) who had been allowed to 'discover his own moral compass'. Needless to say, he never found it, hadn't got a clue how to operate in school or society and was eventually sent abroad... I often wonder how he turned out.

freddie the 11 year old broke in, good god

A friend of mine does this thing she calls freedom parenting (think she made that up) she never tells her DD off and lets her make all her own decisions to let her 'grow as a person'. She is a horrid little shit with no manners not to mention obese from eating nothing but sweets and mcdonalds it's a joke. Her DD refuses to come visit me thank god because i'm a moany cow aka she's not allowed to scream shout or go into my cupboards or fridge

You should need a license to become a parent.

My four year old pulled his pants and trousers down on the way home from school today. Apparently he was checking to make sure he hadn't pooed his pants. Thank GOODNESS he didn't do it on the main road.

Some people don't out of a (IMO) misguided philosophy of freedom and expressiveness

Some don't because they themselves are selfish and antisocial

Some don't because it's easier not to

Some don't because they don't know how

Some don't because they are depressed and bogged down

Some do but you might have seen an off day

Speaking as somebody whose six year old decided to moon the high street, I judge the parental response to poor behaviour, rather than the poor behaviour itself. All children will have an off day.

So YANBU about the laughing and encouraging.

true

shesariver yep, he climbed over our back fence and climbed in through the tiny downstairs loo window (that I'd stupidly forgotten to close) and let his younger sisters in through the front door.

I was furious, as not only had he broken into our bloody house, we have a dog who we no idea how would react when confronted by someone breaking into his house and could have attacked any of them. He could also have injured himself climbing over the fence/through the window

Mum was so blasé about it, but we rang the police who had a 'chat' with them

All 4 of the kids are a nightmare, I just refuse to have them in my house anymore.

Last time they were here I sent one of them home for wrecking my DD2's playhouse and punching her in the face and I got an ear bashing for 'disciplining' her son . She got told her fortune and I've not allowed her in since.

They're also all banned from all the other neighbours houses, the eldest 2 have been chucked out of the local scout group, are banned from all extra-curricular after school clubs and not allowed on school trips unless they're accompanied by a parent.

I feel sorry for the kids as its not their fault but they're just so wild

But it's the parents fault, kids do naughty stuff, but when parents make no move to discipline them it really gets my goat

Yanbu this really annoys me too. I have a friend who won't discipline her son, it's awful and so tiring to be around that I make excuses not to see them now. Surely as a parent one of the main things you want for your child is to be happy and a nice person, how can they be if they allowed to just do whatever they like and not be taught that some behaviour will upset others. Kids need boundaries.

what slushbaby said

I have a friend who doesn't discipline her 3 sons (11,8 and 6) - she thinks its perfectly fine for them to knock seven shades of shite out of each other, sometimes resulting in broken bones, because they are merely 'learning to be men' ....says she who only recently rid herself of her physically abusive partner and father to the boys

She allows them to draw all over the walls - not just pictures but pictures of dicks etc and says they are expressing themselves.

I have come to the conclusion that she is just a lazy cunt who can't be arsed to parent her kids and allows them to raise themselves.

All offers of my DC going for tea are politely declined, its amazing how many imaginary after school activites my kids manage in one week

Oh and another dim and distant friend from my past laughed uproariously when her 3 yr old son greeted me at her front door just four days after I had given birth to my first child with a swift but firmly placed kick right in my fanny!! She guffawed 'oh he's a right little shit isn't he!?' whilst I writhed in pain trying to stay upright with my newborn in my arms ..... I didn't stay for coffee, I retreated and never contacted her again!