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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a bit bored/tired of Facebook?

47 replies

GinGirl · 04/09/2012 14:32

TBH it is mostly the boasting (not even stealthily) by 'friends' that gets up my nose.

I know I have been guilty of it in the past but the whole 'thanks for another lovely day x,y and z' just to make the point that you've spent the day together somewhere lovely is grating slightly. Not helped that in the last year I was dropped unceremoniously by a group of friends and they are all over that site with their comments and photos...

No one ever seems to say (unlike on here) 'things are really tough/I'm struggling. And my friends from days BC are still always drunk!

WIBU to seriously cull the lot of them, to keep it to family and v close friends for photo sharing.

And most importantly, what would you say if someone asked you in real life why you had got rid of them on fb?

I can't decide whether I'm being reasonable or turning into a grumpy old mare in my 20s!

OP posts:

DancesWithWoolsEnPointe · 04/09/2012 19:58

I'm with you OP, its really getting on my nerves. The boasting is painful and the look at how fast I ran/look how healthily I'm eating is also getting right up my nose and then there are the thousand upon thousand shared wall posts most of which are Christian and I'm an atheist. I feel like all honesty is gone and it is a permanent string of people looking for affirmation and congratulations. I was a massive FB addict - but I'm an honest facebooker, I post about what ever, when ever, good or bad, but I think I'm about the only one of my friends who does.

Original poster

GinGirl · 04/09/2012 20:08

Had a look today, and could get rid of loads of people, help me someone, where is the 'unfriending' button?!

So glad there are others that feel the same way, has been getting worse this holiday and I'm going to do it and worry about the guilt/recriminations afterwards!

OP posts:

DancesWithWoolsEnPointe · 04/09/2012 20:26

Go to their timeline and there is a friend block middling-top right. Click on that and there are various options, one of which is unfriend. When ever I have a friend cull at least one person is offended though, so I'm afraid to do it again.

ivykaty44 · 04/09/2012 20:30

GinGirl

there is a way of getting the news feeds of people that post ridiculous things to just not appear on your news feed

Mintyy · 04/09/2012 20:30

I have 40 friends on facebook. Most of them are good friends or family so I can forgive them their little foibles. I have decided not to have anyone I don't know quite well. But my three best friends and my dh are not on fb. Some people are just not interested

Mrsjay · 04/09/2012 20:30

culling is good for you imo I did it and it is much better I have met lovely people on forums and added them and then realised all they do is moan and groan so they are hidden and deleted, It all depends what you class as boasting though and how you perceive it really , I went on holiday here is some pictures , Oh lovely says some people others will think who do they think they are we dont want to see pictures of her 3rd holiday this year,

delete them hide them , I am a little bored of it now but i do keep in touch and see what other people are up too ,

DitaVonCheese · 04/09/2012 20:33

There is a hide option. I hide people who bore me but whose feelings I don't want to hurt by unfriending them.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 04/09/2012 20:34

Delete your account if it bothers you. I did at the beginning of the holidays and haven't missed it one bit!

BranchingOut · 04/09/2012 20:40

I must admit one or two 'couple' shots really got to me recently, oh, and the 'look here I am in the Olympic stadium' statuses.

I have deleted it from my phone and am taking a break for a while, to see if I miss it.

Londonista1975 · 04/09/2012 20:40

I hate it with a passion now - it's just too political, too invasive, too much 'white noise'...deactivating last year felt and still feels hugely liberating.

Keeping in touch with everyone in the old ways before I joined Facebook works fine for me now.

Cull them.

TheDoctrineofEnnis · 04/09/2012 21:26

Just hide their updates and set up a customised option on your posts to stop people you dont want to seeing them.

Or unfriend if you are brave!

thebeesnees79 · 04/09/2012 21:43

I got rid of mine about a year ago and I really don't miss it at all. boring and full of show off's, nosey ones at that.

prettybird · 04/09/2012 22:22

I use fb partly to keep in touch with family and friends who live overseas. I know that I have relatives who don't post that often (my dad only ever lurks but he does comment on what he's read, although he lives close and I see him regularly but I have aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who live a long way away) but who like to see what I (and my family) am doing.

Also use it for communal bitching about Strictly and expecially was Tess is wearing

Wouldn't feel insulted if someone dropped me.

InkyBinky · 04/09/2012 22:46

I deleted my account as I never posted and realised I had pretty much hidden everyone's incredibly boring posts. ( kind of missing the point of Facebook) Prior to deleting the account I had defriended lots of people. I sent some a wee note to say I was concerned about security issues on Facebook. I never had any snippy comments from anyone. I am good at keeping in touch with my real friends by phone or email.

Facebook was fantastic when I lived overseas and I can see it is good fun for my teenage DC's.

I occasionally miss having a snoop at what people are up but not enough to start another account.

prettybird · 04/09/2012 22:52

Meant to add that my dad is often away (visiting aforementioned relatives) so it is a way of him continuing to see what his dd and (in particular) his dgs are up to.

MsNobodyIsOrangeAgain · 04/09/2012 23:03

I deleted my Facebook account about 6 months ago. I haven't missed it one bit.

I use e-mail, text, phonecalls to keep up to date with the people that matter to me.

Badjudgeofcharacter · 04/09/2012 23:35

I deleted mine a few months ago. A few people thought it was because of them, although they had no reason to think that and someone tried to hack into my old account. I like going on there to discuss politics etc. have bee. Guilty in the past of the above annoyances everyone has mentioned have gone back on to annoy people with links to petitions and causes. So my slacktivism may grate some.

Original poster

GinGirl · 15/09/2012 11:45

Hurrah, hurrah. Just got round to doing a good cull and feel very cleansed.

If anyone asks am going to use the 'privacy' excuse from up thread, think people will find it difficult to argue with that one...

It was fairly ridiculous, was deleting people thinking 'haven't seen/heard from you in 3 years, why do we still need to be 'friends'?'

OP posts:

AViewfromtheFridge · 15/09/2012 12:00

I deactivated my account a week ago on the back of this thread and honestly haven't missed it. I like it that people no longer no what I'm doing or where I am.

I might log back on just to get the contact details of people I have no other way of getting in touch with, but that's it.

tanfastic · 15/09/2012 12:15

I like it because i'm nosey but some updates do get on my wick somewhat. What particularly grates are the ones of parents boasting that their little darling slept till 9.30 this morning at 5 months' old etc and how wonderful they are. I know that is me being completely miserable and jealous though as i've a 4 year old that rarely sleeps past 6.30 am EVER and still wanders into my room 1-3 times per night.

I do have some people who I have removed from my newsfeed - surely that is a better way than unfriending someone who you don't want to offend?

TudorJess · 15/09/2012 13:13

I wouldn't put anything negative on FB, although I don't use it anyway. I'm sure if anyone logged onto my page for a casual update, they wouldn't want to read moans and whinges! Much better to save the more personal stuff for a chat with your real friends - there's a time and a place for that sort of sharing.

Peeenut · 15/09/2012 13:14

There's nothing wrong with a cull and changing the way you use FB. My family, and many friends, live all over the world and I use FB to share holiday snaps, silly photos, funny updates etc It's a nice way to keep up with them. All my updates are clean and not in anyway controversial because my parents see them, I won't even moan about a crap day.

Some of my friends Use FB in a different way and that's fine. Some talk openly about the shit things, some use it as a daily photo diary. I get irritated by posts that are attention seeking "crying, how can they do that to me", obviously wanting everyone to ask if they're OK Hun xxxxxx. I'm not a big fan of the Thanks Sam and Alice for an awesome day. Ok, so you have a great social life but please tell me what you did, that would be interesting. On the whole I don't mind the white noise of updates, it's people watching at home. I haven't seen one friend for 8 years and seeing that she's gone for a bike ride and is having a coffee makes me still feel a connections with her.

I've deleted many people over the years and only have 50 friends, not because they've pissed me off but I can't see the point of them being listed. My usual reason is that they're not engaging with me in anyway. I dont expect all my FB friends to like and comment on every update but if there's never any online conversation and interaction it feels a bit odd. I like People Watching, not being watched ;) Some of my friends use it as an online blog and have a few hundred.

YANBU to do a cull. YANBU to change the way you use FB. If someone asks tell them you're now using it for only family and close friends and it's nothing personal. You could set up a twitter account, say you'd be happy to stay in touch that way, then don't bother tweeting ;)

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