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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say yes to my Mum?

17 replies

Lovemy3kids · 04/09/2012 09:41

Hi MNetters,

I posted in Good Housekeeping yesterday enquiring about getting a cleaner - they were very helpful and I had decided that I was going to get one.

When I got home I mentioned this to my mum and she said that she would do my cleaning for me, and that she would want £9 per hour. She already collects my kids for me 2 days a week and helps out with their care in the school holidays. WIBU to say yes to her? or would I be better off seeking a local cleaner? Your thoughts please.

TIA :)

OP posts:

DontmindifIdo · 04/09/2012 09:44

Get a professional cleaner.

cerealqueen · 04/09/2012 09:46

I second that.

littlemisssunny · 04/09/2012 09:47

£9 an hour sounds very expensive to me, I would get a professional cleaner myself.

jkklpu · 04/09/2012 09:48

I agree. If you think it might be tricky turning her down, say that you'd rather she conserved her energy to play with the kids than humped the hoover around your house. It's not clear whether you pay her for childcare, but I'd be wary of deepening any financial dependence on me, if you are.

pictish · 04/09/2012 09:49

I'd not have my mum working for me. Too many lines to be blurred, and it will end in tears. Imho.

porcamiseria · 04/09/2012 09:50

I think the rate is actually very fair! mine is £10ph

is she a good cleaner however?

LadyBeagleEyes · 04/09/2012 09:53

I don't know, is she desperately in need of money?
If she is, then I would do it.
And I'm a cleaner, I get £10 an hour, I think that's about normal.

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 04/09/2012 09:56

She is a good cleaner - her house is spotless :) She has a lot of spare time on her hands and I know that she would do a good job, I'm just a tad concerned that if she did anything that I wasn't happy with - that she would be offended if I told her so!

MMaybe I should employ a professional and go with jkklpu's suggestion of letting her down nicely :)

Thanks guys :)

OP posts:

Hopeforever · 04/09/2012 09:58

Round here it's £10 an hour.

Depends how well you get on with your mum and how much she needs the money.

Personally I'd never pay a member of the family again after employing my grown up DD to clean the house. It was hard for me to challenge her when she changed the time and day she was cleaning then stopped to all to friends on the phone for 30 minutes

Personally I like the house cleaned in one go, to know which day so Ican tidy and plan and for it all to be over quickly

Saying that I do sit and chat with them over a coffee if it seems like theyd like company while they drink theirs and haven't problem them missing a week or changing day for family problems etc

How would this work with your mum?

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 04/09/2012 10:03

She isn't in desperate need of the money - she is retired but not on the breadline.

She has already said which day she would like to clean the house on and it would all be done in one day. I would be at work on the day that she has mentioned and it is not a day that she looks after the children either (she picks up from school until I finish work). I get on really well with my mum but am wondering if this would harm our relationship?

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 04/09/2012 10:10

It wouldn't harm your relationship, if you can lay down bounderies from the start.

If you can speak to her honestly what you want and what your worries are, then there won't be a problem.

It is the normwhere i live to pay friends or family, though.

hellsbells99 · 04/09/2012 10:17

We pay my SIL to do some ironing occasionally....and she has been known to do a bit of decorating too! A great arrangement as long as you get on well and can say what you think. My SIL needs the extra money and has time on her hands, and we need the help!

Margerykemp · 04/09/2012 10:17

I'd do it.

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 04/09/2012 10:20

Maybe then if I say yes for a trial of, say, 1 month, draw up a plan of what it is I actually want her to do....and then see how it goes?

OP posts:

cupcake78 · 04/09/2012 10:25

I used to do my sisters house when I was looking for work just out of Uni. She paid me and had a list of things I was to do for her. I did it for about 4mths and it worked well but we are a very open family and not scared of pissing each other off. We get over it fast enough.

Depends on your relationship with your mum.

Ithinkitsjustme · 04/09/2012 10:25

I think you need to be honest about your concerns,and make sure that both of you can raise any issues you have seperately from your mother/ daughter relationship. You need to think about whether you want your mother tidying your house (I know that I've got stuff in my house that I wouldn't want my own mother to see!), whether you would feel comfortable with her doing your laundry? whether you would feel like you couldn't leave the house in a mess (I know I would). If you can keep it as an employer/ employee relationship then at least you know she's not going to steal from you or rip you off. £9 is quite reasonable round here for a cleaner.

GoldWithADragonTattoo · 04/09/2012 10:34

You'd be paying her around the going rate so I do think that you could it professional. I also think it might be easier to raise any issues with your mum than a stranger as she won't take offence. Unless she is very interfering (which it sounds as though she isn't) then I'd give her a chance. It's money in your mum's pocket too and it sounds like she'd welcome the chance to make herself useful.

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