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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help me be perfect

43 replies

JazzAnnNonMouse · 04/09/2012 09:05

Or am I taking on too much?

Moving house - new house needs renovating and will do this in spare (ha!) time.

Going back to uni - switching courses to education studies.

Finding childcare - needs to be on the way to the bus to uni and subsequently on the way to uni by car from new house.

Passing driving test - husband works in the day so I can only have lessons in the evenings or weekends.

Starting a new part time job - 3 evenings a week.

Looking after 1 year old - running out of ideas for things to do with her and things I can think of are more suitable for older children.

Craft work - I am trying to complete a patchwork quilt for my mil. I am also doing scrapbooking - I don't want to give these up as these are my hobbies.

Maintaining a clean and tidy home - ha!

Food - would like to make own bread for yumminess and money reasons.

Any tips on some or all of the above and is it all doable?

OP posts:
oranges · 04/09/2012 10:00

you can have another baby my darling but not just yet. You need a comfortable house (not beautifully designed and stylish, just clean and warm) and a chance to get your degree. I'd focus on those and driving lessons. Then a baby.
Drop the hobbies for now, and forget about baking bread and general yumminess till your second child is a bit bigger.
x

Hopeforever · 04/09/2012 10:04

First - being mum to your DD
Second - your job (if you really do need to work,notjust think you because you think you should to keep people happy)
Then learning to drive as this will make everything else easier
Then the house you want to move into s that you can move and stop having to worry about 2 houses
Lastly your degree, once everything else in is place you will find it easier to put your all into studying

JazzAnnNonMouse · 04/09/2012 10:14

Oranges we do have somewhere warm and dry for us - we're living in it now and don't plan to move to the new place until its nice - tbh there's not a lot that needs doing you could move in tomorrow and be happy just not as happy as I want to be in it and it's going to be easier to do the redecoration when theres no furniture in it! There's no building work necessary (although there is some that I would like to do but that will have to wait until we can afford it!)

I do want to complete my degree but I do also feel like I want to to please others and society more than myself. I just don't want to have wasted a year and I know I'm perfectly capable of getting good grades because I have in the past.

I don't technically need the job but I feel it would be beneficial financially so that we can afford more than the bear minimum.
I also would like it as something different to focus on aside from housework!

Any tips on things I can do with my 1 year old? We already go to quite a few groups, read books, play and sometimes to crafty things but she's better at eating the paint than painting at the moment!!

OP posts:
Bartusmaeus · 04/09/2012 10:18

I agree with hopeforever

Is a degree really what you want/need right now? Ok so you may "waste" a year but in the course of a lifetime is a year really that much?

We moved house when DS was 4 months old. We started looking when I was pregnant, continued when he was a newborn as well as putting our flat on the market etc. etc. We then packed it all up, moved house, and have since spent a lot of our weekends painting the new flat, buying new furniture, finding curtains etc.etc.

It's not half what you hope to do in your OP but already I'm kinda regretting some of it. I went back to full time work when DS was 6 months and so many of our weekends were taken up with moving and renovating that yesterday I was thinking that I hadn't seen enough of DS as a baby (and he's only 11.5 months!)

Take a step back and prioritise what is really important to you and DH and DD. Not to some random relative who will criticise whatever choices you make (you can't please everyone).

What things are essential? Which are important? Which are just nice-to-haves? Which things are linked (do you need to drive for work or uni? If not, put in on a back-burner. If you would have to give up your degree anyway if you get pregnant is it the right time for your degree/or TTC?)

Bumblebee333 · 04/09/2012 10:18

This is more or less my life, I have done things to make my life easier but some things have to be sacrificed.

So I'm doing a degree, work full time, have one DS (3), have to keep the house clean, learning to drive and will soon be moving house (hopefully) but... i own a breadmaker and have put crafts on the back burner for now.

It is doable

oranges · 04/09/2012 10:20

my one year old loved learning to push and kick an oversize, lightweight football around, even before she could walk she would scramble all over it. and splashing her hands in little trays of water in front of her. Blowing bubbles around her for her to catch? I'd also give her old newspapers, to scrunch up and tear. Kept her occupied for hours.

Bartusmaeus · 04/09/2012 10:20

Is your new house your forever home? If it is, then take your time with decorating. It's easier to know what you want/need when you've lived there for a while.

We wanted to decorate quickly in order to get the maximum out of it as this new flat will only be for 5 or 6 years (in theory).

JazzAnnNonMouse · 04/09/2012 10:25

I'm not sure if it's our forever home. I think it could be but I don't really have a very good concept of that as we moved a lot when I was younger and the longest Ive ever lived in one house is 2 years! Grin

OP posts:
JazzAnnNonMouse · 04/09/2012 10:32

I will get a football Smile
We do the other things you mentioned - maybe I'm not doing such a bad job after all. I just want to be able to do the best for her Smile

OP posts:
cupcake78 · 04/09/2012 10:37

I can't help think your setting yourself up for failure if not illness! I did way too much for the last 5yrs, working, Uni, kids, vol work etc etc and my head popped in January. I'm still recovering from it. I have learnt to slow down finally but I learnt the hard way and nearly lost everything including my sanity as a result.

Time to prioritise.

Ephiny · 04/09/2012 10:41

Can you get a cleaner to help keep on top of the housework?

If you don't need the job, and it isn't one that's providing relevant experience for your future career, I'd drop it, and spend the time you save on studying to make sure you get the best degree result you can.

Make the renovations your hobby instead of pointless busy-work 'crafts'.

Can you afford to wait a few years before trying for another baby? Sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment, and might be better to wait until the house situation is sorted, and you have your degree.

Gentleness · 04/09/2012 11:01

I don't do many activities in the house - we go out and do stuff but I leave them to themselves a fair bit and it works fine. Makes for a permanent scattering of toys, but needs must sometimes! BUT! Trying to do house renovations yourself with a 1yr old - well, I can't describe the chaos that can ensue. They know when it's a tricky moment. They just know. They know when you really can't put the gloss-laden paint brush down and will choose that exact moment to do something dangerous that you thought physically impossible. We just did a fairly large project and I ended up just not being able to really do anything unless they were napping (we do quiet time in beds every afternoon, asleep or not), or in bed, or with a friend. It really doesn't leave many hours to be doing a project as well as sorting the everyday housework. And certainly not a hobby. We still getting the finishing touches sorted.

Bartusmaeus · 04/09/2012 11:06

You sound like you're doing a lot for your DD already.

DS is nearly 1. He likes being read to (loves lift-the-flap books), playing with water, going to the park, and playing with us (e.g. being thrown in the air, using us as horses Wink or playing with a ball). Everyday he spends a lot of time playing by himself though. He's just started walking and toddles round the flat picking things up and putting them down again. He loves his walker but finds it slows him down Smile

He's going to start going to a playgroup once a week to get used to other children. We see other babies/children from time to time but he doesn't play with them yet just next to them.

oh and sometimes he watches 10 minutes of teletubbies or button moon. He doesn't like to watch more than that but it's great when we want to cut his hair! I wasn't keen on letting him watch TV but we live abroad and it's a way for him to be more exposed to English and give us a break

Bartusmaeus · 04/09/2012 11:07

yy to PP. When we painted my parents took DS. It's impossible to look after a baby and paint.

OxfordBags · 04/09/2012 11:24

You know what one yr olds like doing best? Just pottering, exploring their world, making sense of things, discovering. When they totter about the house obsessively lifting the curtains or trying to press all the buttons on the washing machine, or they're outside yelling with excitement at seeing some ants on a leaf or a funny-looking plant, they are gaining very important things that structured activities just cannot give them. They need space to not 'do' in the way that we adults think of doing things.

And, my dear, so do you. You are piling so many expectations and activities on yourself that you are surely going to go under. Who are these people who will be disappointed in you? And most importantly, if they exist and they judge you so harshly, why should you care about their opinions?! Stop worrying about disappointing anyone else. Paradoxically, by stretching yourself so thinly, you DO run the risk of disappointing the only person who matters not to disappoint - your child, because they will have an anxious, stressed, haggard mummy who they don't get enough time with and who might well make herself illbh doing too much.

Have you always been a perfectionist or has your DH's illness given you a scary feeling of 'life is short'? Or perhaps it has made existing perfectionism worse?

Here's the secret to perfectionism: you will never be good enough, never do enough to satisfy that voice in your head telling you that you need to do more, need to do X, Y and Z and then you will be perfect/good/acceptable/loveable (whatever the need is within you that makes you this way). Nobody is perfect, life isn't perfect and fun and beauty can be found in the flaws. Think about someone you love, maybe a deceased grandparent- I bet when you remember them with love, you have a laugh about their daft foibles! Do you expect and need everyone else around you to be perfect? Of course not, so cut yourself some slack.

You're doing far too much. To throw another child into the mix would be the worst idea possible. I also think it's a folly to get pg fairly soon after one parent has had a very serious illness. The family needs to readjust and, to be blunt, you need to give it some time to make sure it does not come back, sorry. There is no magical 'perfect age gap'. Whatever the age gap between your children will be the perfect one for your family, be it 1 year or 15 years!

It sounds like you're doing so much so that y don't have to face horrible feelings within. It must've been terrible watching your Dh suffer with such a scary illness. Did either or both of you get counselling? You can't just snap back from something like that and running away from it by overwhelming yourself won't work.

You need to look after yourself and think about yourself. Cut back on the things that don't matter and just do less in general. You won't lie on your death bed fretting about household tasks and things at work you should've done, trust me.

Bartusmaeus · 04/09/2012 13:03

Excellent post Oxford

JazzAnnNonMouse · 04/09/2012 15:08

What have you done to make things easier?

OP posts:
JazzAnnNonMouse · 04/09/2012 15:18

See it makes sense when someone else says it.
I am scared that life's too short and feel I have to jam everything in!
I'm going to write a list then cut it up and order it how I want it to be.
Thank you
X

OP posts:
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