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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to fret about DS1 at a theme park

31 replies

toysoldiers · 03/09/2012 21:01

DS1 is 6 and has been invited to a theme park with a few friends as a birthday treat.

He will love it so I accepted the invitation before the holidays.

Now I'm fretting.

That they'll crash on the way
He'll get lost
He'll plunge to his death on the log flume

Is this one of those things I just have to get used to? Do I insist on going along? Is this a normal reaction?

OP posts:
jubilee10 · 03/09/2012 21:04

I don't know if it's a normal reaction and I don't know what you do about it (unhelpful) but I am exactly the same!

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 03/09/2012 21:07

I'm sorry - 300 other MN-ers will tell you it's normal to be hysterical worried - I don't do neurotic what ifs

What if he was in a car with you and juggernought jack knifed? what if he was with you and armed gun man came into the post office? what if a large turd fell out of a plane and crashed through your roof?

What if

What if

What if

Hulababy · 03/09/2012 21:07

It's normal to fret esp if first time on such an outing with others.
But he will be fine. He will have a great time and come back a mixture of over excited and shattered.
I think - let him go, and without you - you'll possibly worry a fair bit but once that first time is done, then it is over.

Original poster
toysoldiers · 03/09/2012 21:08

I think about these things ALL THE TIME Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
toysoldiers · 03/09/2012 21:16

Thanks hulababy, that makes me feel better Smile

OP posts:
LeeCoakley · 03/09/2012 21:19

I think it would depend on how sensible the parents are and how many other children there are to keep an eye on. He'll have a great time though.

WorraLiberty · 03/09/2012 21:25

It definitely depends on how sensible the parents are.

Whenever we go somewhere like a crowded theme park, we tell the kids if we get separated, to meet us but a certain ride (usually the tallest that can bee seen from wherever you are) but something as basic as that doesn't always occur to other parents.

Then there are the ones who won't leave their fucking mobiles alone and walk around constantly facebooking/tweeting/ MNetting and are not looking out for the kids.

If you know the parents then you'll know what they're like...if not just impress upon your child the importance of staying with them.

WorraLiberty · 03/09/2012 21:26

*by a certain ride!

kim147 · 03/09/2012 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissPants · 03/09/2012 21:30

I think about these things all of the time. Part normal and part leftover anxiety disorder. YANBU.

We took the DC to a theme park in the holidays and went on the log flume, DH took both DD's and I took DS1. I had never been on a log flume before And when I got in I was casually looking for some sort of restraint. As we started moving up the slope my casual looking turned to panicked searching for straps, a bar, anything! Got to the top and was clinging on to DS's shoulders for dear life when it struck me that DH and DD's were right behind me in the next log and I near on lost it thinking that they would fly out! I spent the entire descent screaming "hang on to the giiiiiirls!" At the top of my lungs over my shoulder Blush

MIL was watching from below with the two babies and she was damn near wetting herself when I got off. This was also the day I had to be heaved out of a toddler ride by several teenaged boys after refusing to let DD3 on without me...

Nope, your definitely not BU Grin

N0tinmylife · 03/09/2012 21:34

YANBU to fret, I am exactly the same, but you have to let him get on with it. He will have a great time, and he will be absolutely fine! Smile

Jenny70 · 03/09/2012 21:38

I am definitely not a worrier, but I did heave a silent sigh of relief when a theme park party invtite for my DD (also 6) clashed with a family weekend away... they have 2 boys with birthdays close and were inviting 15 kids each (ie. 30 kids, plus their 3 kids). Fortunately the date clashed and I immediately could decline the invite, but would have been asking whether they had more than 2 adults going....

The car crash and log flume needs to be let go of, the lost factor - see what contingencies you come up with - your number pinned inside the jacket, have party mums number on him (plenty of people working at theme park he can ask to call her). No wandering off, no dawdling or distractions etc.

BabylonPI · 03/09/2012 21:43

I had a thread a while ago about dd1 going on a road trip with DH on his motorbike.

I got some posters telling me I was neurotic etc

I got some telling me I wasn't being unreasonable.

And I got lots telling me what a great opportunity it was for dd and dh - they went, I worried, they came back fine - full of tales if their adventure.

DD loved it, DH too - so I would say YANBU to be worried, but don't let him miss the opportunity.

Statistically our DCs are more likely to come to harm at home or in the close vicinity of home and it really is fatiguing to constantly worry about the what ifs.

Let him go, plan your day so that you're busy but in easy reach of your phone, then prepare yourself for the endless tales of who screamed on which ride etc Grin

ParaOlympicpark · 03/09/2012 21:48

I am just the same as you. Six seems (to me) to be a bit little to go somewhere so busy without you (me). I am afraid I may be flamed but.... Could you invite yourself along? I would be worried shitless. dd2 manages to hurt herself in any and every situation been to a and e nine times for various reasons and she is three.

shesariver · 03/09/2012 21:59

I think about these things ALL THE TIME

Seriously? Glad Im not like this then, sounds so time consuming and exhausting, Im too busy enjoying myself to spend time ruminating over all the "what ifs" in life.

Original poster
toysoldiers · 03/09/2012 22:01

shesariver well how lovely it must be to be you Hmm

I'm pleased for you

OP posts:
shesariver · 03/09/2012 22:07

No its not lovely to be me all the time, dont be so mad... its just a waste of time spending all your time worrying as I said, I genuinely don't get it. If I spend all my time worrying like this about my 3 I would never let them leave the house without me, or let them leave at all come to that!

shesariver · 03/09/2012 22:08

And you asked in AIBU if its normal - no I dont think it is, thats all I meant.

MissPants · 03/09/2012 22:10

shesariver It's not helpful to be flippant. It's bloody unpleasant to have these things running through your head constantly and I certainly wouldn't choose it! It's taken a long time and a great deal of CBT to get me to the point where my disorder doesn't impact on my life and my DC the way it used to. I work hard to overcome it daily and I long for the day I can just "enjoy life" the way you can.

shesariver · 03/09/2012 22:12

I wasnt being flippant! And if the OP is ill then all the replies coming along "oh its perfectly normal" etc isnt exactly helpful either!

Good luck with your CBT.

LiegeAndLief · 03/09/2012 22:12

I have a 6yo ds and would let him go based on the following conditions:

  1. I knew the parents (and thought they were likely to keep him alive for a day)
  2. He wore a wristband with their (and possibly my) phone number on it
  3. He wanted to go on the same sorts of rides as his friends. This might sound stupid but ds hates "big" rides and I can imagine him spending most of the day stood in queues for things he wouldn't go on.

I definitely wouldn't worry about the car crash or log flume but getting lost is much more likely. We have a getting lost strategy for going to theme parks and ds knows what to do - he is also a bit of a worrier and is very good at sticking close to whoever he is meant to be with. If he was going with someone else I would ask the parent about their "getting lost strategy" and make sure ds knew about it.

Squeegle · 03/09/2012 22:13

Well, it would be nice not to worry, and I think we all agree un constructive worrying is a waste of time, but the question is how do us worriers detach?

And I'm one of them myself. I think that generally it is our role as a mum to over think things, just as it is our children's role not to.

But if we think about a situation logically, and we can see we are worrying un necessarily, then we need to let go a bit.

In this particular situation it all depends on a) the maturity of the child and b) the responsibleness of the parents.

OP, I think if you're worried at all it is not unreasonable to ask if you can come too. After all 6 is still very small. Maybe the parents would welcome more hands.

Lucyellensmum100 · 03/09/2012 22:16

OP are you me?? Those are exactly the things i would worry about too. Now i do suffer from anxiety disorder and i would take those worries to the Nth degree and i just couldnt allow my DD to go. Which is a shame really becaues im sure she would love it.

How about thinking about what is more likely to happen

a) your son will have a great time
b) he will be nervous and maybe too shy to say no to a ride that he doesn't want to lose face by saying he doesn't want to go on and despite your friends best intentions, nothing quite replaces mum/dad/close family member etc for comfort and he might get upset.

I think b) at six isn't impossible and that would be the reason the rational me would be cautious about the invite and i would ask if i could tag along (and pay for myself of course) just in case that scenario arose.

Luckystar96 · 03/09/2012 22:18

I think six is quite young to go to a theme park with a group of kids and parents who sound like an unknown quantity- as I guess you wouldnt be worrying so much if you knew them well and they had reassured you about the trip- I would try and get out of it (unless I totally trusted the parents. What are they like?)

Original poster
toysoldiers · 03/09/2012 22:19

Thing is, DS1 in many ways is the perfect antidote to my anxiety because nothing scares him at all.

He loves funfairs and theme park rides and is always begging to go on ones he's too small for.

Getting lost would be my main fear.

OP posts:
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