...to want to ask advice without triggering a SAHM v WOHM debate?

[LauraPashley]

I work pt, this is relatively new for me having been ft until dc2 came along. I couldn't give a monkeys what anyone elses's choices re work etc are, but personally I am LOVING being pt. we have made a few (middle class) sacrifices to let me do this, no holidays, down to 1 car, eBay/charity shops for clothes, cancel the dreaded sky etc. hardly on the breadline but every penny is accounted for each month and nothing to spare etc. to my mind it is well worth and I don't mind saying no to nights out etc. plus I will up my hours again when the kids are older.
Anyway I am getting increasingly fed up of one friend who clearly feels hard done to, she works ft and always passes comment, stuff like ooooh I'd love to only work 3 days, roll on my lottery win etc. it's constant. She has a lovely lifestyle, 2 cars, nice holidays, big weekends away with the kids, expensive hobbies. And good for her I say, she works hard and should enjoy it! She is not the type to set foot in a second hand shop for example, whereas I quite enjoy the thrill of the bargain hunt! SO 2 different lifestyles/ choices, absolutely fine, but why is mine always up for debate/comment?

I'm wondering how to politely say butt out...I don't want to have to justify myself? It's getting me down, like I am some lady of the manor filing my nails and eating grapes while she is so hard done by and can't afford it!

Oh it is. Give it an hour or two and someone will come along and us all that we shouldn't be allowed have children if we didn't want to spend every minute with them until they are 37. Or how sad they feel for them. Or that in fact only full time work is worth it, or some other horse shit.

Some of us are just wankers.

It seems like she resents the Pt workers in her job and has lumped you in with the rest of them and using you as a scapegoat.

She doesn't sound like much of a friend, tbh.

I think she will just carry on sniping at you unless you confront her. She sounds like she has the hide of a rhinocerous. Not easy though if you don't like conflict.

Yes no one seems to get that while you apparently have Friday "off" or leave "early" you're not actually getting paid!

I can't see how you can avoid saying blunt, I have a feeling she won't get the hint if you try to be subtle.

Why not come over all helpful and give advice on how she could do it - "oh you should, it's the best of both worlds, and you'd only have to give up one car/holiday/Boden catalogue habit. That's what we've done and it's the best move we've ever made, gush gush."

(I'm also now PT, and agree with you it's the way forward )