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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel sorry for fil and be a bit smug that hes got what he deserves..

76 replies

Wheresmygalaxy · 03/09/2012 10:08

The inlaws came back off an all inclusive holiday yesterday in america for the past 2 weeks, there 3rd holiday this year- to a letter from the benefits agency saying they were investigating him for benefit fraud.

ive been with dp 11 years and as far as i thought he worked digging and sorting drainage problems, mil comes from a wealthy family and i knew she had been left quite a bit of money so i assumed as you would they were having good time enjoying it. It turns out dp knew he was signing on the sick on the side and didnt tell me - i get he would protect his dad, but hes now told me not to say anything to him as he will understandably be down.

yep, down that hes been caught out, god knows how long hes been doing it for but i have no sympathy for him at all. I have friends who truly are on the sick and have gone through hell trying to get what they are entitled too, and then theres him going out digging every day and down the pub at night, expensive holidays and not a thought for anyone else. maybe im being heartless but i have no sympathy for him whatsoever.

OP posts:
Lovemy3kids · 03/09/2012 11:28

Queen - we (as in me, my sister, my STBXH, my sister's partner) all reported my other sister and BIL several times for benefit fraud and thought nothing had happened.....but my sister and BIL only told us what was happening when they were having to go to court and thought that it might be in the local paper....which it was..! They got what they deserved and are now having to pay it all back.

tethersend · 03/09/2012 11:31

Frontpaw, since the amount of unclaimed benefits is more than the govts' own estimate of the amount lost to benefit fraud, I'd say that 'I'm not entitled' would more accurately describe British people's attitude to benefits.

seeker · 03/09/2012 11:32

What delightful!people on this thread!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 03/09/2012 11:43

It doesn't make you a mean person to be pleased that justice is going to be done and to be pleased that people are not going to be allowed to fraudulently claim money that the rest of us have to provide.

So what if OP is happy about it?

Lovemy3kids · 03/09/2012 11:52

we 'shopped' my sister was because she blatantly bragged about claiming fraudulenty - they had a council flat they rented out whilst living in their mortgaged home, they have a holiday home overseas and had a much more lavish lifestyle then any of my other family members who all worked full time and didn't claim any benefits! Some people may just read that and think that we were jealous - but no - we all had our own houses at the time and we lived within our means and paid for it ourselves. It used to piss us off no end that we were all hard working tax payers and they were getting our money fraudulenty when there were people out there who genuinely need help. If that makes me and my family delightful then so be it!

NameChangeGalore · 03/09/2012 13:24

A bit shocked at all the family members shopping their relatives on this thread Shock

QueenofJackDreams, maybe nothing has been "done" about it, because there's nothing fraudulent about their claim? Just a thought.

QueenofJacksDreams · 03/09/2012 13:31

Love We know she's still in full reciept of benefits as she tells MIL everything when shes down there cleaning the house for money/fags/pills.

Name I know my SIL pretty well she brags to me about she has people paying for her to go on holiday and won't be telling the JC she's leaving the country so she doesn't have to sign off. She works for at least 3 people I know of cash in hand but then you're right maybe its nothing fraudulent like you say and I should just let her get on with it. Hmm

susitwoshoes · 03/09/2012 13:33

seeker - not sure what you mean by your post - do you think it's fine when people claim fraudulently, knowing that those in genuine need are put through the grill because of people like them? And do you think that those who are fully aware of the facts (not guessing) should not let the authorities know?

tethersend · 03/09/2012 13:38

I wish there was a hotline to report people who are entitled but don't realise and don't claim.

I'm sure my neighbour isn't claiming, and I'm SURE she's entitled to.

Tryharder · 03/09/2012 13:44

I agree that it's perfectly reasonable to shop benefit fraudsters. It's stealing. Why is it not OK to steal from someone's house or shop but considered OK to steal from the taxpayer/Government?

tethersend · 03/09/2012 13:50

Nobody has said it's ok, TryHarder.

thecook · 03/09/2012 15:15

I am with seeker on this one.

I am also Shock at the number of people that have reported family members.

Shesparkles · 03/09/2012 15:17

Hell mend him! Genuine claimants are having such a hard time these days, he deserves all he gets

thecook · 03/09/2012 15:19

I am with seeker on this one.

I am also Shock at the number of people that have reported family members.

DontmindifIdo · 03/09/2012 15:31

I don't think I could shop a family member, and I certainly couldn't shop one of DH's family (that seems like it wouldn't be my place to do it, IYSWIM), but I wouldnt feel sorry at all for soemone who's been caught out like this.

It's because of people like the OP's FIL that causes the problems for people who do need the benefits - there's a general 'society deal' with benefits - better off people are prepared to have some of their income taken to pay for those in need, even if they are 100% certain they won't need to use that benefit themselves as it's seen as a sign of a civilised society to look after the weakest members. If those people who are losing some of their money to pay for it feel the people who are receiving it don't diserve the money or are 'cheating' the system, then they are more reluctant to pay, and will vote for people who'll be 'tough' on claimants.

Each person who cheats the system, chips away at the social deal. Eventually you get to a situation where people aren't prepared to pay out, or everyone thinks it's ok to take back a bit more from the pot (either through benefit fraud or tax evasion, same mentality).

Taking money you aren't entitled too is stealing from everyone else. Just because you dno't see your victim, doesn't make it acceptable.

Lovemy3kids · 03/09/2012 15:34

But Dontmind, if everyone went around thinking 'oh I couldn't shop one of my family' when they are blatantly committing fraud, then no-one would ever get caught. Sometimes these things have to be done - regardless of if they are family or not.

diaimchlo · 03/09/2012 16:42

YAsoooooooooooooooooooooNBU.....
It is people like him that get people such as myself who is unable to work due to health issues labeled as a benefit scrounger. I have to go to hell and back with the governments evil assessments just to get enough to live by and he goes on jaunts abroad. He deserves everything he gets tbh.........

Bellyjaby · 03/09/2012 16:52

YANBU at all. Stuff like this and other poster's stories make me sick. My poor mother can barely walk even aided by crutches yet she's deemed not disabled enough for DLA. She's awaiting tribunal but by the time that comes about it'll be over a year from when she first claimed.

seeker · 03/09/2012 17:20

Well said, tethersend.

bubalou · 03/09/2012 17:27

I have a family friend who lost his leg in a car accident at 18. He is now 64.

He has worked all his life, paying tax etc. Never has he not had a job.

He got made redundant 6 months ago and has been really depressed at the way he is being treated and having to jump through hoops to be able to claim disability allowance.

I have a relative who is in their 30's, claims disability and doesn't work who is perfectly fine. Would I report them? Yes. Why haven't I?

Because the system is a fuck up! The government just had their 'big crack down' on the benefit system & re-interviewed people claiming disability. He went for his interview, told them 'i want to kill myself' and they just ticked the box and carry on paying him.

TRUST ME - I'm not being a harsh cow either. He is fine. He buys designer clothes, smokes fags and smokes a lot of weed, goes out for meals, has been given his own flat that he doesn't pay for. His mum believes he is depressed and has sleep problems because he pretends or stays up til 3am smoking weed and then sleeps in until 2pm.

They all deserve to be punished. As an additional punishment I would make the bastards pay back and extra 50% as a deterrent. Most of the time they don't even have to pay back the full amount!!!

FryOneFatManic · 03/09/2012 17:29

I would absolutely shop a family member who was making fraudulent claims if I knew they were definitely doing so.

Too many people are being given a hard time and labelled scroungers because of those making fraudulent claims. I know someone who's having a hard time and has to appeal an assessment that hasn't properly taken her condition into account.

I want my taxes to be paid to people in real need, not those lazy gits who think benefits are an alternative to earning your own money.

Leena49 · 04/09/2012 03:27

My SIL claims disability because of joint pains and stuff but manages to take 4 foreign holidays a year, some long haul!
I would never shop her but I'm embarrassed to know her! She is a family joke!

AKissIsNotAContract · 04/09/2012 03:43

The people committing benefit fraud are small time compared with the companies that get away with not paying their taxes. If only there was the same vitriol for Philip Green, Vodafone and Amazon as there is for small time benefit fraudsters.

CinnabarRed · 04/09/2012 04:08

Philip Green (who, of course, is an individual and not a company), Vodafone and Amazon have not broken any laws. They have not committed any criminal offences.

Every single benefit fraudster has acted illegally.

That's why benefit fraudsters get more vitriol than the companies you named.

glenthebattleostrich · 04/09/2012 06:26

Tax evasion is a completely different issue to stealing money. It really annoys me that whenever there is a thread like this people come on and say how it's alright because Amazon didn't pay enough tax last year. Neither is OK, the difference is one is immoral and one illegal.

OP, YANBU. I would report family members or friends for this, the same way that if one of them burgled a house or mugged a person I would report them.