...to think that kids really don't need mobile phones?

[Arana]

I've noticed a lot of occasions where a child (usually between say 10 and 16) has committed some misdemeanour, and is to be punished. So often though I hear "oh I can't take away DS/DD's phone, they need it for emergencies."

What sort of emergency does a 15 year old need a phone for all the time? For a true emergency (fire, car accident etc) there are phone boxes (there's still plenty around), and I'm sure nobody would object to someone borrowing their mobile phone to call an ambulance.

Mobile phones make life more convenient I'll admit - it saves you coming home first if you want to pop round to your friend's house etc, but surely part of the punishment of having your phone taken away should be curtailment of the lifestyle it enhances?

My kids aren't old enough to (allegedly) need phones, but from a personal point of view if I leave my phone at home when I go to work, it just means I have to keep my commitments, and make a phone call using a land line if I have to change anything important.

I can't believe how old I feel writing this, but I never had a mobile phone until I was 17 (30 now) and I feel like kids are in more danger from having mobiles (exposure to unsolicited texts, photos, bullying) than I ever was from NOT having a phone.

When you are out and about and something (anything) untoward happens, you can telephone for help directly, without needing anything or anyone else (who may or may not be available). My elderly parents and all their friends love their mobiles for this very reason and DCs have many of the same issues (they are more vulnerable than able-bodied adults).

Give me an example of something untoward that might happen?

DSS2 was out with some friends in a local suburb and they got attacked by some older boys. All the DCs took refuge in a shop and called their parents to come and collect them to take them home (the shop owner called the police, too).

DSS1 goes out at night and is able to call DP with a RDV on a street corner so that DP doesn't have to park. But DSS1 doesn't actually have to hang around on the street corner - he and DP talk/text so that they get precise timing. Hanging around on a street corner in the dark is dangerous.

First case- shop owner called the police- no mobile phone necessary. Horrible- and sorted out more quickly because of mobile phones- but the boys were not safer because they had phones.

Second case- that's not anything untoward happening. That's convenience. If there was no mobile phone involved, it wouldn't be a case of your son hanging around on a street corner- it would be a case of your dp having to park.

seeker - so what, the boys were supposed to wait around in the shop until...?

Parking in Paris is very difficult.

I think you are applying your country bumpkin habits to inner city living!

No. As I said, phones make it easier. But presumably the shop owner would have let them phone parents if he had already phoned the police for them?

I have a dd who spends a lot of time in London. As do I. And actually, the only time I think phones might actually make a child safer is in the country. There have been times when I have picked my dd up from the station and I was glad she hasn't had to make the 20 minute country road walk home - motorists in the sticks are often homicidal!

From the title, I thought you meant children, not teens. I am planning to give my ds a simple payg phone when he starts secondary school. Simply because his school will be over 10miles away & involve a 3 mile cycle along barely lit & tbf pretty empty country roads to his bus stop. The school bus only goes once in the morning & once in the evening. If for some reason he misses his bus or there is a problem with his bike, he'll be able to get in touch easily, as opposed to having to walk back/wait for a car to pass. My ds is also a panicker, so I think he'll like the reassurance of being able to get in touch if there's a problem. I do think you over estimate the availability of working telephone boxes. I haven't really seen one in ages. I also think that people aren't quite as willing to lend a phone to a teenage boy as you might think.
I didn't have a phone as a teen (they didn't exist yet ;)), but I could definitely have used one on those times when I accidentially got on the wrong train & ended up home an hour late or when the bus driver decided not to stop to pick us up...

From having talked to teens it is also often used to find one another in a crowd/shopping centre when a group has split up by accident. How much safer & convenient is that compared to wandering around until you find your friends?

No seeker, it is not the job of shop people to do that and they won't do it. My DD's school has to negotiate with every single shop on a particularly busy piece of road near the junior high school building to allow DCs to take refuge within them if they are anxious about being followed etc. Even that is a hard negotiation. It is the responsibility of children and their parents to ensure that DCs are safe in the street.

You are, on this topic, (as always) desperately naïve, seeker.

My biggest problem with the OP is why on earth taking a child's phone away would be a punishment anyway. If I need to punish my children then it woudln't be my prefered punishment as they have been given phones for their safety (my DD has a medical condition and she has our numbers programmed into it so anyone can access us if they need to). If I need to then I ground them or ban them from doing activities that they particulary enjoy.

I don't see any reason why kids need to have smartphones though.

You are,on this topic(as always) extraordinarily rude, bonsoir.

Only when your stubborn naivety refuses to acknowledge the bleedingly obvious, seeker.

Wow, so many Luddites on this thread
Like it or not, mobile phones are here to stay, I don't know anybody who doesn't have one.
My ds17 has an i phone now, when he went to High School he got his first and I've gradually upgraded them as he's got older.
I wouldn't say he got one for safety reasons initially, it was for convenience.
That is what mobiles are, convenient.
Why would people want to go back in time and use public phones when we have the technology now?

Absolutely, LadyBeagleEyes.

based on dd1 and dd2- they never need a phone to be contacted by a parent. everytime i call them, it goes to answerphone. I only ever call them to ask what time they need picking up or similar. i take the view that if there is an emergency i will soon hear- mobile phone or not.

That is what mobiles are, convenient.
Why would people want to go back in time and use public phones when we have the technology now?

cos kids get far to much these days don't you know and even in the dark ages the phone boxes always smelled of wee and god knows what else eww.

In my opinion...
A phone able to make calls and send the odd text - Yes.
A phone with a camera, internet capability, games, modcons - No.

My DS got a mobile when he started secondary school.

I didn't have a mobile until I was in my mid 20s - but that's because no one did really. None of my friends did either. (I'm 38 now).

But then there were phone boxes on every corner and we had a payphone at school. There aren't as many phone boxes around now. They aren't maintained so they're pretty disgusting inside, sometimes they're not actually payphones and have (what appears to be) querty keypads instead of numbers. And my son's school doesn't have a payphone.

More parents work F/T now so it is more likely that a parent won't necessarily be at home and it's peace of mind for the parents as much as anything that they can contact and be contacted by their teen.

There are more after school clubs now than there used to be. When I was at school, all clubs took place at lunchtime, now there are so many options that it's quite possible for children to attend clubs most nights after school.

Sometimes clubs get changed, moved, extra meetings are convened at short notice. I know at my son's school they will quite often have an 'event' and only recruit 'tech' support from the students at short notice, or require additional photographers for an event, so DS needs to be able to text.

Also I'm out from school with DD most evenings, so he can't call me at home because I'm not there, so a text is much easier to let me know if a rehearsal has over run or if he will be walking down to meet DD and I after ballet...

If he goes out with his friends and they miss the bus/train home or it doesn't arrive, or Heaven forbid, they want to go for a milkshake beforehand, I'd rather he was able to text to let me know rather than just not turning up, or having to say "no" to his friends when there

and so on

He has a phone that makes and receives calls and sends and receives texts. He has a camera on it but that's just because the phone has a camera. I won't allow him to have internet access on his phone.

I don't really understand why so many of his friends have Blackberries and iphones though

I only got a mobile when I was pregnant as DH thought it would be a good Idea, DS1 got a old phone of DHs to use when he was 11 and going to high school and the same with DS2,

My children's phones have never cost more then £20, they are pay as you go and do not have internet .

I don't understand people who let young children have expensive phones that are all singing all dancing, my friends 12 year old has a blackberry with roaming internet confused

YANBU if you're talking about a £200 phone with all the bells and whistles, but a cheap £5 phone is useful if you have to walk 1 1/2 miles to school.

My mum went a little bit mental by not even letting me at a sleepover- a place with responsible adults and a house phone to contact if necessary- if I forgot my phone, which is totally unreasonable.

I'm not disputing the use and benefit of mobile phones for convenience. I'm by no means a technophobe (far from it, I'm about as geeky as you get).

However, I do think that mobile phones give:

• a false sense of security. People are more likely to put themselves in danger and take risks (e.g. walking home via a more direct but maybe more dangerous route at night).
• a reliance on technology that has its limitations. People seem much less resourceful, less able to take initiative and think their way out of problems.
• less respect for commitment. People will cancel and change plans at short notice, and think that sending a text absolves them of any responsibility to their commitment.

I'm guilty of all of these things, and it's not good.

As for the phone box thing - I do live abroad now, but I left less than a year ago. Phone boxes aren't everywhere, but most town centres had at least one that worked last September. In a true emergency I would hope that my children have the confidence and initiative to approach a member of the public (passer by, shopkeeper) to call the emergency services.

"I can't believe how old I feel writing this, but I never had a mobile phone until I was 17 (30 now)" Arana

Oh blimey! How does that make me feel! I got my first moblie aged 44, I'm 51 now.

I bought my first mobile phone when I was 36. It was the size of a brick. Mobiles hadn't been invented when I was a teenager

I don't think you can compare when we were teenagers to now, because in those far off days there were lots and lots of pay phones!