Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have reported this to the police? Concerns about child

23 replies

bigboobsatlast · 02/09/2012 08:02

First post here, please be kind! More of a wwyd I guess - really want to know if you would have done what I did or was there something more I could have done, or should I have done less?!!

Out with DH and DCs yesterday. Saw a woman with a group of other adults (men and one older woman) drinking in a quiet park (11am) with approx 2.5 yo boy in a pushchair. Now I like a drink and given the opportunity I would happily have a pint or two while in charge of all three DCs. But there was something about their behaviour that drew my attention... very rowdy and sweary. Anyway walked on. Then saw the woman with the child again and she quite blatantly scored some drugs (don't know what) from two men. She then walked past me with the boy in the pushchair and although I of course can not be 100% sure she definitely seemed 'on something'.

At this stage said to DH that I wish I heard her call the boys name or some one say her name so I could report my concerns to SS. But what were my concerns? Boy seemed happy enough Hmm. And anyway, no way of identifying them so nothing I could do.

Then saw her again with boy in pushchair and a man with her. Walking all over the place (eg. in to people with the pushchair) and saying incoherent things to people in the street. People were looking at her as she stuck out so much.

Again, I felt worried about the child - as far as I could see she was in no fit state to care for him properly. Again thought that I wished I could raise my concerns to SS in office time but no way of identifying them. So I called the police (not emergency number) and gave descriptions and reasons for my concerns. The person who took the details seemed to share my concerns - said they would report to the police / PCSOs on duty in the town I was in so they could look for her and the child.

Was this the right thing to do? Could I have done anything else?

Left me quite shaken as I really was worried for the child. But may be I was overreacting?

OP posts:
stainesmassif · 02/09/2012 08:06

No, not over reacting, that was the right thing to do.

TiddlyBears · 02/09/2012 08:06

Absolutely the right thing - you should feel very proud of yourself. Hopefully the boy will have a better future and his mother more support, as a result of your actions.

MamaBear17 · 02/09/2012 08:08

I think you did the right thing. There is a chance that if someone picked her up and checked everything out she lives in a clean home and they boy is well cared for, well looked after and loved. There is an equal chance that the boy is not well cared for, home is dysfunctional and mother has a drug problem. In that case, the woman needs ss intervention and help. I would not be able to live with myself if I had concerns over a child, said nothing and then saw his picture on the news in a few weeks time because a 'Baby P' type issue had happened all over again.

SirBoobAlot · 02/09/2012 08:12

What a sad situation. You did the right thing.

FalseStartered · 02/09/2012 08:12

you did what you did because at the time you felt it was right.

maybe the child was in danger, maybe he wasn't, but it sounds to me as though you saw an escalating situation which worried you, so you made a decision to intervene but in the safest way.

let the 'authorities' do all the worrying now, it was yesterday

lovebunny · 02/09/2012 08:30

correct behaviour. don't worry, you did the right thing.

ColouringIn · 02/09/2012 08:43

Absolutely the right thing to do. If she was drugged and incoherent then she cannot possibly deal with any needs her young child (who is dependant on her) might have.

You did the right thing.

Original poster
bigboobsatlast · 02/09/2012 08:48

Thanks everyone. I told a couple of people in RL and they were shocked I 'got involved'. Like you MamaBear I could not have forgiven myself should something have happened to the little boy. It really is sad. Hope someone found her and checked everything was ok / provided help.

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 02/09/2012 08:50

You did the right thing.

Southsearocks · 02/09/2012 09:08

Agree you did absolutely the right thing OP. The woman may already be known to services. I hope the local bobbies caught up with her just to check things out.

UserNameNotAvailable · 02/09/2012 09:12

YANBU

Was there a pond at the park? If there was, imagine if they had let the little boy out of his pushchair and he fell in, if she couldn't walk straight or string a sentence together she probably would've had no hope of helping him either rescuing him herself or telling other people.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 02/09/2012 09:12

YOu totally did the right thing your saw a family in a situation that could have turned nasty at any point. may be if they find her she will get help to get off the drink and drugs.

bochead · 02/09/2012 09:13

You absolutely did the right thing. Police prioritise child safety so they'll have made a real effort to find her quickly. A child that young should never be in that position and was at very real risk.

I'm not sure how your RL friends have come to the viewpoint they have. My conscience wouldn't let me knowingly leave a toddler in that situation.

UserNameNotAvailable · 02/09/2012 09:14

Also remember that that little boy had to be fed and watered all day, would she have been capable? Very sad Sad

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 02/09/2012 09:15

You did the right thing. Better that than hearing on the news later about a tragic accident happening to the little boy.

Empusa · 02/09/2012 09:17

YANBU, I'd have done the same.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere · 02/09/2012 09:21

You are not supposed to be in charge of a minor whilst off your face.
Whether its drugs, wkd or a cheeky Californian white.

And no police officer worth their salt would walk past someone in the state you describe who had a child with them.

So you did the right thing. She might be known already, she might just be starting to do this with her kid about.
Either way it's skanky behaviour.

porcamiseria · 02/09/2012 09:44

you did the right thing OP

Goofymum · 02/09/2012 09:50

Good for you, OP, you did the right thing having seen the situation get worse in front of your eyes.

GoldenPeppermintCreams · 02/09/2012 09:56

You did the right thing.

Hope the family get the support they need.

Nancy66 · 02/09/2012 10:15

Yeah you did the right thing.

Tragic thing is that there are kids living like this all over the country.

Original poster
bigboobsatlast · 02/09/2012 10:17

Yes there was a pond username and a river and busy roads. Buy my main concern was as you describe-could she meet his basic needs?
And if she acted like that out in public in a busy town on a saturday, then what happens behind closed doors? :(

Feel happy that I did the right thing anyway. thank you for all your responses. Would be the same again should I see something like i did yesterday. I will try to forget about it now and hug my dcs

OP posts:
bruschetta · 02/09/2012 10:18

you did the right thing.
this child is probably known to some authorities already, that would be my guess, and information like yours helps their assessments.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread