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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

massive cringe and I am angry. Aibu?

20 replies

fuzzybuzzy · 01/09/2012 12:32

DH has a friend.I dislike the man.Dh.My experience of him is of an arrogant rude entitled man and I have kept my distance and expressed my feelings on several occasions.

A few months ago on a night out dh made him godfather to our eldest ds.He didnt tell me about this for 3 months.
When I found out I was furious.This man has never even spent more than 5 mins whth ds 5!

I have been adamant that this man is NOT my ds godfather as I dislike and do not trust him.This led to lots of arguments and DH telling the man that actually he would not be godfather.

In telling the man dh basically told him that I do not like him.He told him everything I feel. That I think he is a letch, I dont like dh being around him on and on really.I am angry at not being consulted.Also feel betrayed that DH couldnt have made up a less personal motive for sacking him!

Said man approached me at a party and we had to have a little chat.

AIBU

OP posts:
lisaro · 01/09/2012 12:34

How can he have made him a godparent? You could have said no at the christening. This doesn't make sense.

IawnCont · 01/09/2012 12:35

YANBU but your problem here is with your DH, not with his mate...

WorraLiberty · 01/09/2012 12:36

It all sounds so very Christian Grin

He shouldn't have asked him without discussing it with you first.

But to be honest, I don't see why he shouldn't have told him the reason...was it likely to come as a shock to his friend?

ExitStencilist · 01/09/2012 12:37

Unless he set up a chapel in the pub and one of their drinking mates is a priest, he did not make anyone anyone's godfather.

LeeCoakley · 01/09/2012 12:38

Any person told casually on a night out (drunk?) that they have been 'made' godfather surely wouldn't have taken this seriously?

And what happened at the Christening?

WorraLiberty · 01/09/2012 12:38

I think the OP means he asked him to be Godfather.

lovemykaygees · 01/09/2012 12:40

Oh god, this reminds me of my 17 year old SIL who made about 6 of her friends godmother to her dd on a drunken night out. Grow up.

HeathRobinson · 01/09/2012 12:41

How did the little chat go?

sugarice · 01/09/2012 12:41

So at the party did you have to spell put your reasons for your dislike of him?

YANBU for stopping him being a Godparent if you don't like him.
Your DH was unreasonable for deciding to ask him without consulting you first.

EugenesAxe · 01/09/2012 12:41

If your DH is friends enough with this man to consider him godfather material he may have felt the need to be frank about what's happened to preserve his friendship, especially if he was pushed for specifics from that bloke.

That said, YANBU at all about not being consulted on the subject, so feel your DH has brought this on himself. If he offered up all the details without trying to give a more general message first, then he was also BU.

sugarice · 01/09/2012 12:42
  • out not put.
OhChristFENTON · 01/09/2012 12:43

Yeah, how did that 'little chat' go?

JennerOSity · 01/09/2012 12:45

OK, so your DH asked the friend to be godfather and then was uncomfortably (for you) honest as to the reasons why he subsequently retracted the request.

  1. I think your DH was out of order for making such a deep (should be anyway) invitation to someone without your knowledge or consent - but it sounds like he has learnt his lesson as has since backtracked and withdrawn this. Maybe it was a spur of the moment drunken thing - which doesn't make it any better but is perhaps preferable to a deliberate pre-meditated sidelining of you.
  1. It may be very uncomfortable for this guy to know your feelings about him, but in the scheme of things, the frank honesty of it may actually do him a favour as it may make him consider, for the better, how he comes across to people and make him moderate the worst aspects of it

I wouldn't particularly welcome such a conversation at a party, but if your opinion is justified I would be happy to stand by it to the persons face. I would welcome not having to spend much time with them in future or having not to pretend I like them.

How did the party 'chat' go? Was he conciliatory or angry?

JennerOSity · 01/09/2012 12:46

p.s YANBU at being unhappy how this situation arose and unfolded. But I think maybe the outcome could be for the best. :)

diddl · 01/09/2012 12:47

"Said man approached me at a party and we had to have a little chat."

Did you tell him that no, actually, you didn´t?

HiHowAreYou · 01/09/2012 13:00

I didn't like one of DH's friends and the friend asked me to talk to him about it on a night out once, about ten years ago.

Luckily we were all on pills so I just said I thought he was a cocky little twat and hugged him and we've been fine ever since. I still think he's a cocky little twat (because he is), but nobody minds.

Drugs are great.

Shellywelly1973 · 01/09/2012 13:02

Come back&tell us about the little 'chat'!!?

RightBuggerforit · 01/09/2012 14:19

Yanbu for being annoyed at dh asking him to be gp without discussing it.
Yabu to expect him to make up reasons and lie about why he is no longer going to be gp. Much better he knows the truth now anyway.

ExitStencilist · 01/09/2012 14:23

said child is 5 people. Are we talking some kind of mafia thing because I don't think anyone is going near a church with this.....

DruAnderson · 01/09/2012 15:03

Is there even a plan to get the child christened?

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