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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really fed up with being arachnaphobic?

176 replies

imonthefone · 01/09/2012 12:26

Grrrrr...... I LOVE gardening; was just having a end(ish) of summer sort out...painting fences, moving sheds, getting rid of all the crap etc etc...

Im 40 years old...Ive always been frightened of spiders. i think Ive got better over the years. I can mostly deal with the harvestmen spindly things and the wolf type spiders if they dont touch me and I dont look directly at them. But what I really really cant abide are the BIG black ones that hang out in sheds....yeuck yeuck yeuck......Just come across 2...fighting, or maybe MATING (shudder) and thats the end of it....Had to come in, lost my breakfast in the kitchen sink. There are 5 bags of rubbish in the garden which I will not now be able to carry to the front of the house, put in my car and take to the tip..I will have to wait for a spider-hardy friend to come and do it for me

I am FED UP with it...I am otherwise normal, strong, independant, self sufficient kind of gal. Spiders reduce me to a hyperventilating shell......so humiliating....

what can i do?

OP posts:
TapirBackRider · 02/09/2012 21:29

Isn't it just! I can't believe it costs so much more now.

I laugh at myself, I've done that much stupid stuff in reaction to the damn things, and it makes a change from my dcs laughing at me Wink

Kabooooom · 02/09/2012 21:53

Reading this thread, I have felt sick, felt my breathing get quicker, shorter, and harsher, been shaking, and felt like something keeps crawling on me resulting in me trying to brush the non-existing buggers off me.

I hate them with a passion. I can't look at them, be in the same room as them, or even read the S word, nevermind look at a picture. I think I got my fear of S off my Nan after living with her for 12 years.

I do not want to be near them, see them, or touch them, so the thought of getting treatment panics me TBH. I know that is the irrational thoughts talking, and I know deep down I wouldn't feel like this afterwards. It is just getting past that irrational thought to go and get the treatment, talk about them, see them, be near them and possibly touch them which so far I haven't managed to get past.

I have sat outside for hours in the car on many occasions awaiting on DP to get home from work and deal with one Sad

fluffyraggies · 02/09/2012 21:59

Read the thread and now i'm all hot and cold and twitchy, and looking around :(

Was hysterical all up and down the landing yesterday evening as i blundered across a mahoosive wolf spider coming out of a bedroom :(

I make DH take them across the road and along a bit, otherwise they just come back in.

It's the time of year. All the damp weather. They want to come in. :(

And the 'thick black out-door-somewhere-dark' ones ...... oh GOD!

But a cure .... ? Not sure. Weird isn't it?

shouldkeepquiet · 02/09/2012 21:59

I have always been scared stiff of spiders aswell. I now have to deal with all the spiders being the daddy in the house. My daughter ran out of her room two days ago and i shuddered when i saw the big black bugger on the wall just above her pillow. I guess i get a bit caveman protective over her -she's only 6- and just go for it with some tissue. Of course i missed it and it ran over my hand before i squashed the bastard. Arrghhhh!!!

shouldkeepquiet · 02/09/2012 22:02

OH another top tip - get a cat. Our cat loves nothing more than mangling spiders. Makes up for the times she pee's in the shoe box!

fluffyraggies · 02/09/2012 22:09

I was going to post again (about cats eating them) but in mid type i thought i saw one near the keypad and almost flung the laptop Shock

Dh has given me a hard stare and said "Jesus Christ Woman ..."

Grin

Will hide thread.

TapirBackRider · 02/09/2012 22:13

On your hand? Shock

Kabooooom · 02/09/2012 22:15

Shouldkeepquiet, we do have a cat, but unfortunately she isn't interested in S. Just flying insects Sad

Although she has been useful and been getting all the Mosquitoes this year, another thing I hate but nowhere near as much as S.

shouldkeepquiet · 02/09/2012 22:29

Yes it ran on my hand! No way back from there, just reflex slapped it with my other hand....i feel itchy thinking of it now.
Kaboooom . try not feeding cat for a week or so then throw her at spiders..nature will do the rest!

Kabooooom · 02/09/2012 22:38

I wish! She goes on a hype and goes mental everytime she wants feeding. Even in the middle of the night and attacks our feet, meows constantly. She will never allow us to forget to feed her! She will even try to eat the dogs food Hmm

Raspberryandorangesorbet · 02/09/2012 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Forwardscatter · 02/09/2012 22:52

The Friendly Spider Programme is great but it doesn't work for everyone; it didn't work for me. But I saw for myself how some people there lost a lifetime's fear in half a day. It was incredible.
For me, it helped a bit, but not enough to have a significant impact on my life. I can just about tolerate tiny ones from a distance (as long as I'm outside) but that's it. I've been thinking about doing it again though.

EnjoyGOLDResponsibly · 02/09/2012 23:37

I simply cannot believe that I will be cured. I fear that I will become worse.

I just manage to hide The Fear from DS. But only because I implement the ER Spider Removal Technique (I.e. batter to death with a Haviana)

What worries me is that I have not inherited this fear from anyone. Everyone I know is in fact fairly robust in the face of a spider, even though they may not want to buy one a drink.

It goes beyond pissing me off though that others refer to this as an "irrational fear" in a sneery dismissive manner. If a person was terrified of heights you wouldn't bundle them into a lift to the Ob Deck of the Empire State. Why then is it fucking hilarious to e mail an arachnophobe a picture of a bird eating spider.

TapirBackRider · 03/09/2012 00:44

I totally agree with you Enjoy.

If it's not email - then some funny bastard has stuck a pic on their (and your) fb wall.

Growlithe · 03/09/2012 06:55

I agree too Enjoy My DBIL used to think it was funny to get his then 3 year old DS to sneak up on me with a giant rubber spider. Hilarious especially when I was holding my baby DD at the time. His DS is now 11 and has actually grown up with the phobia, so those little tricks backfired. Angry

Original poster
imonthefone · 03/09/2012 07:51

Can the fuckers read?! Word is out!......there was one in my bedroom last night-spotted it just as I was turning the light out to sleep. On the ceiling. Had I not had the recent experience in the garden with the mutants, I would have described it as big, it was probably medium sized. Luckily kids werent here over night, so I slept in a dc bed. But now the games begin huh?! Hmm Where is the bastard????

Seriously, Ive lived in this house for 9 years, and never had one in any rooms other than bathroom and kitchen Sad Sad Sad

My XH thought it was funny to taunt me with a spider. Once. He is not an empathetic man. But my reaction was such that he never did it again. Still cant trust my dad though Hmm

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 03/09/2012 09:46

EnjoyGOLD,
I was the one who referred to arachnophobia as "irrational fear", but certainly not "in a sneery dismissive manner."

It is irrational to be frightened of spiders, because (in the UK) they are harmless. You mentioned fear of heights, but that is different because if you fall from a height you will be injured or die. A house spider running across your hand will do you no harm at all.

I'm sure that the people who have been on spider courses did so because they thought it was irrational, and wanted to become rational about spiders. My friend who was treated free of charge by our wonderful NHS certainly thought so.

I am currently struggling with my own phobia (perhaps the subject of another thread) and I know its damned well irrational because it's something that's actually beneficial, but it still terrifies the life out of me.

I joined this thread because the OP asked "What can I do?" and I was able to tell her from personal knowledge what others have done. I would urge anyone suffering from an irrational fear of spiders to do the same and be cured.

As to the teasing by people who know you are frightened of spiders, that is of course totally unacceptable and this should be made very clear to them.

Also unacceptable is to scream at spiders in front of children, and pass on the same irrational fear to them.

ErikNorseman · 03/09/2012 09:49

Worst night's sleep ever - found one in my bed that disappeared under it when I tried to squash it :( managed to talk myself into getting into bed eventually but couldn't sleep. I think I had about 4 hours with 4 wakings. Thankfully no work or child today. I have to say I'm losing faith in dethlac. I have sprayed it everywhere and it seems to work on small creatures but I think the big ones are immune :(

goldierocks · 03/09/2012 10:07

My dad cured me of my spider fear when I was a little girl (he bought be some spider glove puppets to play with). At work I've always been the person who has to remove the spider from the kitchen/loo/conference room.

When my son was 9 he asked for a pet tarantula. We have two now. One is in the front room and the other is in my bedroom. I adore them. My last remaining cat is 19 years old - she wouldn't care if I put one of the spiders on her head.

My nieces used to be terrified of spiders but now they will quite happily sit in the front room with the tank doors open. Quite a few spider-phobic friends have felt much better after spending some time watching our tarantulas.

I live in old victorian house. We used to have a lot of spiders (didn't mind at all) but strangely enough, since we've had the tarantulas we hardly have any now. Might be a bit of a drastic measure though - rid your house of spiders by getting a tarantula!

If anyone is in the South East and would like to meet them, just ask!

Original poster
imonthefone · 03/09/2012 10:09

Also unacceptable is to scream at spiders in front of children, and pass on the same irrational fear to them

It is not unacceptable to scream at spiders in front of children Hmm

it is not a welcome thing-to be passing on phobias, but the reaction is involuntary

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 03/09/2012 10:10

Well done goldierocks!
I understand that tarantulas are ideal pets because they can be left for a week or two's holiday without special arrangements.

Original poster
imonthefone · 03/09/2012 10:10

strangely-i dont feel as frightened of tarantuals as I do house spiders-i think because they look more fluffy? (disclaimer-ive never touched one! but i can look at one in a tank)

OP posts:
Original poster
imonthefone · 03/09/2012 10:11

also they are pets

maybe there is something about the unexpectedness of spiders that frighten me....

OP posts:
goldierocks · 03/09/2012 10:35

My spiders are definitely very fluffy indeed - one them is from a breed called Chilean Golden Fluff. The other is a Mexican Red Knee, which is the classic tarantula they use on TV and in films. This is also the breed that you can hold if you do the course at London/Bristol zoo. I've put some photos of them in my profile - do NOT open if spider phobic.

Both these breeds are very docile and non-aggressive. They would have to be in fear of their life to bite a human. Their venom is less potent to a human than a bee sting.

My tarantulas are exceptionally easy to look after, although you do have to be okay with feeding them live food (crickets or locusts - these live in the utility area on a shelf above the washing machine).

My son tells me that having tarantulas has elevated me to 'super cool mum' status among his friends...:-)

Raspberryandorangesorbet · 03/09/2012 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.