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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8yr old seeing "sexy" pics?

21 replies

ladylion · 31/08/2012 18:58

Have namechanged for this.

My 8yr old DS came home from his friend's house saying he had seen "sexy" pics on his friend's computer. His friend is also 8.

When I asked DS exactly what he meant, he said it was ladies in bikinis, ladies without tops on Shock and men without tops on.

Am worried that DS's friend's mum will laugh it off if I say anything but DH and I are really unhappy about our son seeing this stuff.

Is it normal for 8 year olds to have access to this stuff?

AIBU to feel like this is a major deal?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 31/08/2012 18:59

I wouldn't be pleased

Why weren't they being supervised on the PC?

It's a big deal IMO

minikimmi · 31/08/2012 19:00

Is it possibly holiday snaps? Topless photos wouldn't be a big deal in that context.

AgentZigzag · 31/08/2012 19:02

I don't think what you've described is particularly bad, bikinis and men without their tops on you can see on a lot of beaches, and women without tops on aren't shocking.

But where did he get the 'sexy' reference from?

At 8 I would say they're getting curious about what bodies are all about, and embarrassed giggling and being a bit shocked is all part of the course.

YABU to think of it as a major deal, but that shouldn't put you off keeping tabs on other things he'll inevitably come across in the next few years.

WilsonFrickett · 31/08/2012 19:03

Not normal at all and a very big deal. My DS is 7 and I would be hitting the roof in your shoes. You need to talk to the other parents and find out what exactly they saw as a first step. I'm assuming it was a 'lack of supervision' issue rather than anything more serious - in which case the other parents will want to know.

WilsonFrickett · 31/08/2012 19:04

Xpost I hadn't thought it may be holiday pics Blush but I still think you need to talk to the other parents and find out.

NotYouNaanBread · 31/08/2012 19:08

If it's holidays pics then fair enough, but if not, I would be furious & ringing the other mother for a talk.

Original poster
ladylion · 31/08/2012 19:10

Definitely not holiday pics, we would not have any problems with those!

It is the lack of supervision that worries us, plus we do feel that accessing this stuff is completely inappropriate at their age.

OP posts:
JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 19:11

They probably googled "sexy" or something. It's a big deal if they are being allowed unsupervised access to the computer.

Don't go in all guns blazing, but do mention it to the parents. They may not have thought about what little boys get up to on the computer.

minikimmi · 31/08/2012 19:11

Remember that what an 8 year old may understand as 'sexy' will be whatever he's learned at home, not from this one visit to his wee pal's house. Is he used to nudity? Does his dad look at page 3? You're upset about your son 'seeing this stuff' but you don't really know what he's seen do you? Go and talk to the mum, it's probably just holiday snaps.

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 19:14

At this age DS (who knew he wasn't allowed on to the PC without supervision) and his friend waited until I was on the phone and googled "Bum Stuff". Luckily they looked on Google Maps so it came up with a map of Butthole Arizona or something, but I shudder to think what they could have found with a couple of clicks.

It was a big wake-up call.

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 19:15

I hasten to add they were looking for fart and poo jokes ....

WilsonFrickett · 31/08/2012 19:25

But you don't know it wasn't holiday pics until you talk to the other parents, do you? I'm totally with you - see my first post - but you need to find out exactly what went on. If they sneaked on and googled something, then it could equally have been your DS leading the other boy astray, couldn't it?

Jamie you can set up safe search on google which will block any adult content coming into your pc at all. We have it. I can ask DH about it and pm you if you're interested?

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 19:26

Oh that's OK thanks Wilson. I did it after that ......

Original poster
ladylion · 31/08/2012 19:28

wilson thanks for the suggestion to jamie, I will suggest that when I bite the bullet and speak to her!

OP posts:
JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 19:33

Wilson/OP

I just googled sexy with SafeSearch on. Hmm. Women not topless, but definitely writhing with little on.

WilsonFrickett · 31/08/2012 19:36

Guess nothing's foolproof, back to ops original point about supervision. Imagine what you would have got if safe search hadnt been on though...

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 19:36

Yep.

bigTillyMint · 31/08/2012 19:38

It's difficult to know exactly what they were looking at.

At that age, or maybe slightly older, my then bf and I spent hours looking at the underwear section of her mother's catalogues Blush

Spuddybean · 31/08/2012 19:41

I don't think i'd be worried about topless women at 8. I grew up pretty 'european' about nudity.

But i'd worry about access to harder stuff on the internet. Have you asked whether they searched for the pics or the pics were just there (all our family hol snaps have my mum with her knockers out!)?

NovackNGood · 31/08/2012 19:49

I think if they were looking up poo jokes and only found topless stuff then the family's parental controls filter is working not too badly at all.

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 19:50

Novak - no that wasn't the OP, that was my child. And he looked on Google Maps by accident.

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