My MIL has been driving me bonkers of late (past 3 years to be exact). She was brilliant when we got married 9 years ago and since then my family has been doing fairly well financially and are occasionally able to enjoy the perks of it. That said, due the nature of our work, we are fairly cash poor and asset ok and this week I even found out that the company I work for is probably going under and I haven't been paid for 3 months- so not great luck all the time and we work very, very hard. My FIL passed away last year and DH felt like he needed to do something for his mum- I'm all for family and no probs with that. I consider myself generous in nature and treat guest well, feed, wash laundry (:) ), want them to participate in family and will bring them on holiday (MIL joined us for one for 10 days- everything paid for). She's doing pretty well herself, not flush but with a small portfolio of rental income, pension etc.
Her gifts to my kids have now decreased in value considerably- fine, I'll accept that. She doesn't spend much time with them preferring the internet and going for west end shows (she's American- so enjoys London), buys herself nice food etc but not for anyone else in the house. Hasn't offered to pay for one meal this trip- already 2 weeks down the line with lots of meals eaten out on hol. Offered to take my kids out for a haircut today (I got to a really cheap place- £7.50 each- they are very good)- then asked me for money to pay them. I was quite furious but gave her a £20 to which she then said that she could use the rest for food for them.
My husband pasified me and said he'll try to explain things to me reg cultural differences which may help me understand it better- I'm waiting for him to come back now but I'm so mad! We are of different races but not that different!!