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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked him to stop smoking?

25 replies

phoenixrose314 · 31/08/2012 17:10

This has been really bothering me, and my DH too.

Last weekend we went to a theme park with my two stepchildren (and my bump! I am 12 weeks pg), and knowing how bad the queues get we headed straight for the ride that usually has the longest queue. It was already a wait of around 45 minutes - but we started queueing and were telling each other bad jokes to pass the time.

Suddenly, we smell smoke. I noticed it first because my pregnancy has had me heaving at the slightest smell of smoke, and my DH noticed it about a minute later and looked around for the culprit - it had said at the start of the line that no smoking was permitted in the queue, so we were both shocked to suddenly smell it. I started to heave a little bit, so my hubby located said guy (he was in the very large family behind us) and informed him that he shouldn't be smoking in the queue. The guy says "Yeah I know." DH blinks and says "But you're doing it anyway?" The guy just smirks. DH asked him to put it out please, and the guy starts to argue very loudly and aggressively, saying it's a free fucking country etc. etc. I butt in, saying that I'm three months pg and I'd really rather not be breathing in smoke, and finally the guy's Mrs pokes him and tells him to put it out. He does so, and we say thank you.

That should have been the end of it. But as soon as we turn back to our kids, we hear him saying really loudly "Can you believe the attitude of some people. Fucking idiots. Total cunts." Etc etc, In front of his OWN 4 kids and our two. I just talked over him and asked everyone what their favourite knock knock joke was, and we just tried to ignore him throughout the rest of the queue. About 15 minutes later he started swearing again and left the line, presumably to go and smoke elsewhere, and didn't return (thank goodness).

I have to ask, because his reaction has been bothering me, WAS I being unreasonable to ask him to stop smoking when the sign CLEARLY said no smoking, and I was literally heaving as I was talking to him?? All my instincts say I was well within reason, but then why did he react so badly? We asked nicely, we said thank you, what the hell was his problem? And who the hell behaves that way in front of children??

GRRRRRRRRRRR.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/08/2012 17:14

YANBU but only because the sign said he couldn't smoke...therefore he shouldn't have.

If the sign hadn't have said no smoking then I'd be saying that there will be lots of smells you won't care for when you're pregnant, and sometimes when you're not.

BlackberryIce · 31/08/2012 17:20

I have never noticed these signs!

rainbowinthesky · 31/08/2012 17:23

Yanbu. I always wonder what the wives of knobs think when their dh's act in this way in public.

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 17:23

Of course you wren't being unreasonable. The guy was clearly a twat, the fact that he was smoking in the queue in the first place, and the fact he got arsey in front of his children proves that. His poor wife has to put up with that all the time, I expect.

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 17:25

P.S. people reacting badly to what you say to them doesn't always prove you were in the wrong. There are many many idiots out there ....

FuckityFuckFuck · 31/08/2012 17:28

I agree with Worra

YANBU only because the sign said 'No Smoking'

He reacted that way because he's a twunt, be very glad you don't have to live with him

BadgersRetreat · 31/08/2012 17:28

he was prob being such a tosser because he knew he was in the wrong....

BlackberryIce · 31/08/2012 17:31

Where was this sign?

TeapotsInJune · 31/08/2012 17:32

Agree with Worra. I've never smoked but to be honest I do find the venom of non smokers towards smokers mystifying! Grin I know I am in a minority though ...

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 17:33

People should know not to smoke in a queue of children, sign or no sign, IMO.

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 31/08/2012 17:33

Teapot - I have no problem with smokers. Smoking is 'orrible though.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 31/08/2012 17:35

The no smoking in queue lines has been around for years since I was a teen 10 years ago

YANBU

TeapotsInJune · 31/08/2012 17:35

See it jut doesn't bother me, never has done! Grin

CakeBump · 31/08/2012 17:39

YANBU

I'm pg too and hate hate hate anyone smoking around me....

BUT

I wouldn't have asked him to stop. I'd having tutted probably, and stood to one side for a while until he put it out.

Maybe I'm just a wimp....

TheCraicDealer · 31/08/2012 17:42

Agree with Worra, as per.

phoenixrose314 · 31/08/2012 17:47

"Venom" - where was the venom? I have nothing against smokers, and in another situation I would have just moved away as the heaving is my issue, not theirs. We asked him to stop ONLY because the sign said not to - understandably, as it was a small cramped space with lots of small children (it was a theme park after all).

I really have nothing against smokers generally!!!

OP posts:
phoenixrose314 · 31/08/2012 17:48

Oh, and the signs are right before you enter the queue - a list of who the ride is suitable for etc. Among the signs is a no smoking sign.

OP posts:
BlackberryIce · 31/08/2012 17:51

Oh right, I had visions of the queue stretching out through the park!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 31/08/2012 17:53

YANBU because it was a no smoking area, but I thnk you were being a bit precious tbh.

Sabriel · 31/08/2012 18:18

Well done for tackling him. I'm never brave enough. We have experienced the same at theme parks - most notably Disney Paris - and it is horrible. You can't get away from it if you are stuck in a ride queue, which is precisely why they tell you not to smoke there.

janey68 · 31/08/2012 18:21

Yanbu, what a twat

TeapotsInJune · 31/08/2012 18:24

Sorry phoenix I meant in general but that wasn't clear so I apologise as it did sound like it was aimed at you - it wasn't! Xx

doublecakeplease · 31/08/2012 18:31

I'm a non smoker but think people should be allowed to smoke in the open air tbh. what was the ride? I assume it was a kiddie kind of ride of it was suitable to be on in pregnancy so I guess he shouldn't really have been smoking but I'd probably have just tutted for the 2 mins it probably took him to smoke it.

CakeMeIAmYours · 31/08/2012 18:39

YANBU because there was a sign.

I know it's not the actual question you asked, but YWBU to expect people not to smoke near you (outside) because you are pg.

bruschetta · 31/08/2012 19:25

YANBU
the guy was being an arse. Shame you had to listen to all that verbal crap from him.
People can do what they like in private (apparently including suffocating their own children with their smoke sadly) but not in public places where there's a no smoking sign.
Well done to your husband for having the balls to address it with him.

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