about MIL and DS's birthday

[californiaburrito]

First of all let me say that my MIL is a kind generous person whose company I enjoy tremendously.

However, I'm in a bit of a pickle- DS's (GC2) 1st birthday is approaching and I was going to suggest that we celebrate at MIL's house and then they could come over for DD's birthday a few months later. But it transpires that MIL made arrangements for that weekend forgetting that it was DS's birthday. Fine, no big deal, and I am strongly inclined to do something small at home for DS's birthday and invite them down for DD's birthday. However, I know that MIL will feel guilty about the situation and will want to try and make alternate arrangements for DS's birthday. I'm really not keen on doing anything other than the weekend of DS's birthday because-

1. We have two other trips coming up, one of which involves me flying transatlantic with both kids on my own.

1. All of the organization for the trips falls to me to do.

1. Our trip to MIL's would be less that 48 hours or I would have to travel with the kids by myself.

1. I would really like a period more than three weeks long without any kind of travel so I can get into some sort of a routine.

But-

1. I don't want MIL to feel bad about missing DS's birthday.

1. And even more importantly, going to MIL house means seeing GMIL who is also totally awesome, loves the kids, but can't come to see us.

Nobody's suggested anything yet but I need to get my head around this and getting woken up at 4am isn't helping matters.

So, thanks if you've gotten this far and-

WIBU not to go to MIL's to celebrate DS's birthday?

But you aren't going to MIL for your sons birthday though as she has made other plans! I would never expect my parents to keep the weekend of my dc birthdays free, and nor would they!
Could she not Skype/FaceTime/call on the day?

Play down the importance of the birthday if MIL gets upset about missing it. Remind her ds is one and won't even know it's his birthday, and there are years of birthdays ahead to celebrate.

It isn't your fault she is unavailable that weekend, so don't feel guilty, and don't over burden yourself trying to sort it out.

I wouldn't travel again given your circumstances.

MIL isn't around for his actual birthday anyway. Just tell her that you can't travel there another time for her to make a big deal out of it. Its not like a 1 year old knows anyway.

Yes just do something small at home. Grandparents don't need to be there. If she's already arranged something else she isn't going to feel bad, it's no big deal. Just say he's only little and you can all have a big get together for the next birthday do.