To want to throttle DH when he says this?

[BenedictsCumberbitch]

and he's got the kids doing it too!

Tonight I picked DH up from the train, he got in the car, wrinkled his nose and said 'it stinks in here' with a vague air of disgust. I ask what kind of 'stink' thinking it might be bum toddler with potent nappies my breath as I had garlic in my lunch or some other vile smell, surreptitiously I sniffed myself for evidence of BO etc. He leans over and sniffs my hair and says 'did you wash your hair just before?' um 'yep' he nods 'yeah that's it'.

Stinks?? Of shampoo and conditioner and nice freshness? Stinks?? Could he not say that he can smell something nice/fresh/clean?

He does it when I have washing in the tumble dryer or on the radiator etc 'the house stinks' giving me the fear that there is something under the floorboards. When I probe further it's the smell of clean washing/air freshener he objects to.

DD is the same, hand her clean clothes 'Urgh mam they stink' I give them a sniff 'of clean washing??'.

Do their noses not work like mine???

My nephew used to tell me I had good stink.
It still makes me smile when I think of it. He's 15 now and grunts a lot.

Wet hair does smell unpleasant. I take it from your post that you washed your hair and left home with it still wet when you met your DH at the station.

One thing I don't like is sitting on the bus behind a woman usually young with wet hair because she couldn't be bothered to dry it before leaving home. For me, going out with wet hair is tantamount to going out not dressed properly.

In your case though, that doesn't matter because you were in your car with your DH (ie at home) not with a stranger on a bus.

I wonder if this is his rather unsubtle way of telling you that he doesn't like the smell of the shampoo/conditioner you use, or the washing powder? Not sure why clean washing would smell of air freshener though. I'm with your family, I'm afraid - I hate air freshener/febreze/fabric conditioner type smells.

Coriander tastes like mud. Vile stuff.

As for wash powder etc. To me the lavender based ones (particularly Bold - but all of them) absolutely reek. The smell makes me feel sick. Doesn't help that the Bold one is so strong so it can do that "fresh for days" thing. I really can't abide it and would say that STINKS and mean it.

I'm the same with some shampoos and deodorants too. One of the Lynx ones makes me feel sick too.

No I had actually dried my hair (not straightened it though so I did look like the wild woman of Borneo) and it's not like I use a regular shampoo or washing powder it's the smell of all products of that ilk. Sigh. You know if I did smell of BO he probably wouldn't comment

As Napoleon says, "J'arrive. Ne te lave pas".

I find many body sprays like impulse and shampoos etc stink, I hate the smell of alot of them and to me they stink,

Oh god yeah, I agree lavender smelling things make me heave!

YANBU.
my DCs quite often do the same. They actually can't be bothered to use another word other than "stink".
I am constantly correcting them and would like them to say "that has a strong fragrance" rather than "that stinks". but perhaps IABU in expecting it

oh, and particularly offensive is "what's that stink?" if I'm cooking.
"something smells good, what is it?" would be preferable or perhaps I'm just a god-awful cook

i don't like false smells, chemical based, i find them nasty. i have some fabric conditioner at the moment and its a mistake i won't make again. can't use air fresheners, hate most perfumes.

some people are sensitive to smells.

Well, does he ever say anything smells nice? Is the problem linguistic, about manners, or different perceptions?

I'm really sensitive to smells and find that, to me, the smells of the scented washing powders, febreze etc make me feel really ill. To me they are unpleasant.
However the wording 'stink' is an emotive one...

Try class of 35 year 6. Hot summer day. Mix the smell of hot sweaty boys with at least 10 different laundry 'smells'........ Then imagine that someone helpful decides to spray the room with air freshener < glares at usually lovely student > while you and the class are outside for break. Now that STINKS.

i don't think OP's DCs and DH are ultra sensitive to smell, I think they are being lazy in their speech and (unknowingly) rude to OP as a result

If they mean the clothes/hair smell bad, YANBU to think they are being really rude, but you probably should try to find scentless alternatives that they like once they have apologised and asked you politely.

If they are using the word 'stinks' to mean 'smells strongly [but not unpleasantly]' YANBU they are wrong! Correct them!

Yes Nigella! That's exactly how I feel! I do correct them and I just get a sheepish grin and a sidle off.

I don't think it's particularly that DH is sensitive to the smell of my shampoo etc. He uses it as bloody shower gel often enough, it's Aussie Miracle as well at the minute! I was feeling flush

I love the smell of coriander, lavender, febreeze, fabric conditioner, shampoo and air freshener. Just to add a bit of contrast.

Aussie stuff is quite strong smelling though. Especially their leave in conditioner. DP is like this, can't bear deodorants or anything like that being sprayed near him.

I totally understand what you're saying too OP and I agree with Nigella. If he was talking about how strong the scent of the shampoo was he could have said 'strong smell' rather than 'stink'. I also feel that 'stink' is a very negative word to use.

If he can't say anything nice he could just keep quiet?!

Or instead of 'the house stinks' maybe he could say 'that's a horrible air freshener, let's try something different'?

Some products can have a horrible chemical smell, including shampoos and conditioners. I've thrown out shampoos/conditioners that smelled vile and some of dp's foul smelling hair wax and deodorants and replaced them with more pleasant smelling ones. A lot of people seem to like the smell but I get nauseous being in the same room as someone wearing certain chemicals.

My friend has a home full of air freshners...those plug in ones. To me, her house stinks...she thinks it's delicious.

My DH also hates the smell of fabric softner.

My Dh is constantly taking the piss with me about things like this. It's like it is always bizarro day.

When he says it just say, I know, horrible isn't it?

it could be genetic, but it could also just be a very odd sense of humor.

There are two levels to my answer.

On one hand the word "stink" does suggest an unpleasant odour not lovely fresh hair and so one can forgive you for feeling aggrieved at his turn of phrase. However I think you are being unreasonable at your talk of throttling him. This is not going to solve the problem and could in fact lead to severe harm or worse and so in the long term should not be recommended as a viable solution.

Instead I think the best way forward is to explain your feelings and ask that he consider them and be most sensitive in the future.

I cannot stand the smell of air freshener or clothes conditioner. I also don't see why my clothes should smell of anything.