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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Back to work

26 replies

cheekypickle · 30/08/2012 13:10

I've been on maternity leave for a year now. Had DD in August (I'm a teacher so go back to work in sept)

I've been quite ill this year with mental health problems.
I really don't want to go back to work! I've managed to agree with DD to go part time 3 days.

OP posts:
Original poster
cheekypickle · 30/08/2012 13:11

Am
I being unreasonable in not wanting to go back?

Will I probably enjoy it when I do go back??

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/08/2012 13:16

YABU to keep repeatedly starting these threads as you don't seem to be gaining anything at all from them Sad

Is there someone you can talk to in RL?

I have no idea if you'll enjoy it when you go back...being a Primary school teacher in charge of a class of kids must be tough enough without having your own problems to deal with.

This might get me flamed but if any part of you thinks you can't cope with a class of children then I wouldn't go back to work until you're sure you can.

Or perhaps take a career break and get a supermarket job or similar, until you feel comfortable working and using childcare.

Good luck Thanks

seaweedhead · 30/08/2012 13:16

Maybe go back for a few weeks and see how you find it? You might find you enjoy it once you get back in the swing of things.

Could you afford to quit if you find you don't want to work? Are you well enough now to go back?

StormGlass · 30/08/2012 13:16

YANBU to not want to go back.

I'm going back to work soon - technically, I've already started, but am taking some of my holiday at the minute - and I'm feeling very conflicted about it.

I'm veering between not wanting to go back, and thinking it'll be okay, especially as we can't really afford not having my wages.

Friends who've gone back to work after maternity leave all tell me they've been fine after the first week or so. I'm really hoping that they're all being truthful!

hermionestranger · 30/08/2012 13:19

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I you dot feel upto returning to wok then don't. It's not fair on your class if they keep having to get used to different teaching staff.

Disclaimer - DS had FIVE teachers last academic year. In y1. Sad

squeakytoy · 30/08/2012 13:22

How do we know if you will enjoy it when you go back? Confused

If you dont want to go back, then dont go back, so long as you can afford it.

If you do want to go back, then go.

YABU for posting the same bloody thread almost weekly.

BlackberryIce · 30/08/2012 13:45

You've 'agreed with dd' ?? What does that mean?

Original poster
cheekypickle · 30/08/2012 13:46

DH

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 30/08/2012 14:21

Teachers have great sick pay - 6 month full pay isn't it? I'm sure if you don't like it much, a trip to the doctors will have you sorted.

TheHeirOfSlytherin · 30/08/2012 14:25

Why do you keep starting the same thread over and over again?

What more can anyone say to you?

bamboostalks · 30/08/2012 14:25

The same thread again cheesypickle? What answers do you think you will generate here? I actually think you do not sound as if you would be the type of teacher children deserve to have in your present frame of mind. Get yourself signed off or just face the reality of your situation.

pinkdelight · 30/08/2012 15:37

I agree with Bamboo. I keep seeing your threads and I have to doubt that you're well enough to be working yet. Why do you keep posting the same thing? Is anybody looking out for you at home, making sure you're coping okay?

Original poster
cheekypickle · 31/08/2012 12:42

I just wanted a bit of reassurance

OP posts:
Feminine · 31/08/2012 12:47

To be honest, with the way you have been feeling I don't think you should go back.

You are a Teacher...your class will need you to be on top form, its not actually fair on them.

but I really hope someone in real life is helping you, these threads are not giving you the support and help you deserve.

that is not the fault of any of us here, we just can't do that much unfortunately :(

Good luck ...please seek help.:)

Original poster
cheekypickle · 31/08/2012 12:50

I think I'll be alright I just need to get my head around going back to work after year. I'm part time (3days) and job sharing with a lovely lady

OP posts:
janey68 · 31/08/2012 12:51

As others have said- none of us can possibly know how you're going to feel. Are you asking for hollow 'reassurance'?

All I can say is, you've been off a long time, presumably since July 2011 as you're a teacher, and I suspect that might mean it takes longer to settle back into routine (and possibly for your child to settle)

I didn't take a year with mine, and if I'm honest I think the longer you have off, the harder it is BUT that doesn't mean it's not going to work, you may find you're really happy with a balance of home time and career time. I did 3 days when I returned and IMO its a great balance- you are using your skills , getting intellectual stimulation, it's enough days for your child to settle well in childcare but you still get 4 days a week home. Also teaching has very good terms and conditions so it's well worth it to keep your pension contributions etc

I am with the others though that if you're not going to really make a go of this, then don't do it, because it's not fair on the children in your class. Don't start faffing around going off sick (my ds really suffered one year with several teachers in and out over the year)

TheFallenMadonna · 31/08/2012 12:54

I think going back to teaching is utterly exhausting. I went back after 5 years, full time, and I have never been so tired, even when DS was a baby and screamed all night. However, it was also absorbing and interesting, so once I got over the shock of it I did (and do) enjoy it.

I don't know what your MH issues have been. I assume you have discussed your return to work with whoever is working with you on those, and they have assessed you as fit to work?

If you have real concerns, then you need to see someone ASAP. If not, and this is just return to work wobble, then that is also completely understandable, and you just need to get back into it.

Good luck for Monday!!

Original poster
cheekypickle · 31/08/2012 12:55

No I won't go off sick I don't want to mess the class and colleagues around

OP posts:
cansu · 31/08/2012 12:55

Did you enjoy your work before you went on maternity leave. Although I was slightly nervous about going back after I had my children, I knew I would get back into it quickly as I generally enjoy teaching and the social contact of other adults in the workplace. I think if it is solely related to anxiety about leaving your dc you will be fine once you get back into a working routine. If you were never very happy in your work then perhaps not.

Original poster
cheekypickle · 31/08/2012 12:58

No I really loved my job! Loved the kids the whole thing! I'm nervous that I won't be any good at it any more. My confidence has gone.

Not worried about leaving DD she loves her childminder

OP posts:
cansu · 31/08/2012 13:00

I am sure you will be fine then. it's natural to be a bit apprehensive after a break. good luck for Monday.

TheFallenMadonna · 31/08/2012 13:03

Nah, it's like riding a bike!

Really, 5 years out, and everything had changed, and people kept using acronyms I had never heard of, but the actual being in the classroom? It was like I'd not been away.

Bluefrogs · 31/08/2012 13:51

if you don't want to go back to work then don't go,as I recall you have asked this particular question at least 20 times and have got the same replies each time.mostly people saying to do what is best for you,but I just don't get this now.
So I'm going to say yabu as nothing else anyone says seems to make any difference.
What are you going to do if you dint go back?come on mn and ask for ideas on how to fill your day?

Original poster
cheekypickle · 31/08/2012 13:57

Yes probably

OP posts:
slipperandpjsmum · 31/08/2012 14:05

I have not wanted to return to work in the past but when I got there I really enjoyed it. It will also increase your confidence levels which are low at the moment.

I haven't seen your other threads - where have I been?